Just doing my part to kill the thread with layers of boredom. Don’t mind me.
I don’t think that’s a good idea sauron…it might just fling itself off onto Jester…and he’s got enough problems already!
Lets drag him clear of the thread, but no cpr this time - I think that’s what caused the problems last time! I think his brain overheated…or something 
Right, I’m running a book…I’m offering 2:1 on wakes up ok (ok for jester this is - usual accent etc), 16:1 on urdu, evens on total gibberish, other odds by arrangement…
I’ll take “Wakes up sane and sober, speaking clearly” for 2000:1. Here’s my $2 
fierra – offering any odds on Farsi? I bet I could work out a deal with Jester on the sly and we could clean up big-time.
Wait – did I type that out loud?
Steve Irwin. Just in case you were wondering. Mate.
True. It was early on in the morning. My bad. . . Perhaps I should have said something to the effect of sending Reno to the glue factory?
Tripler
I’m going to get fired for this. . .
elbows, I do readily admit to its loveliness. You are so very correct.
Could you show me that slide of the water from the houseboat? It was…lovely.
we must wake up Jester…and tymp’s codpiece may be needed…struuter : sob : I can barely bear to type it… struuter has been hypnotised by elbows’ holiday slides! Hurry, it may be too late!!!
<eyes glazed over, dreamy expression twists her face into an eerie Wednesday Addams-like smile, her voice a hollow monotone>
Ooooh…that’s a rather nice snap, if I do say so. And did you say you had a whole set of slides of Jakarta? Perhaps when we’re done with these…?
I quite like how you contrasted the light and shadow in that last picture. Oh! There’s a lively bunch! Tell me who each and every one of them are…and where they’re from…and how you know them…and all about their families…and…and…
<Dew can slips from her weakening fingers and rolls across the floor a la Citizen Kane, as she whispers>
…lovely…
Stand back I’m a professional
>walks up to Jester
>gently picks up his hand to check his pulse
He lives, but just barely
>reaches into her bra and pulls out Big Ass Wupping Stick®
>Notices Jester has begun to sweat profusely
Hmmm, It occurs to me that he may be playing 'possum.
What do you think fellow threadkillers?
Wouldn’t it be ironic if either Jester or struuter wind up killing this thread, but don’t remember doing it?
Hey, sexy! Let me sit on your lap. I’ve got over 300 days to tell you what I want for Christmas… 
I love you!
Walks up to Struuter with Big Ass Wupping Stick® in hand.
Strutter doesn’t even appear to notice.
:scary music: Nurse Mermaid reached over and pulls mask off Stuuter to reveal…
The stinking nasty rotten Thread.
>grabs Thread by the collar(?) and proceeds to shake and slap it vigorously
:shreiking:What have you done with Struuter, you bastard. Oh and which one of you bitches is my mother. Uhm Sorry, Tell me where Struuter is… now!!! You bastard!!!
well, if it is the thread that is your mother, that answers the parthenogenesis question!
Sorry, I mean…
Fierra walks over to thread & kicks it…“Give us back our knish maker, urm, friend, immediately or else!!!”
makes Lap
Sure Julie-babe! Come on over, I’m sure something will come up we can discuss!
Deep within the bowels (ugh) of the beast, a groggy struuter awakens. The monstrous heartbeat throbs in her ears as she struggles to her feet. Reaching out for support, she realizes she is trapped inside…
I…I thought I was just going into the kitchen to make up fresh knishes…dear God…what happened?
<echo>
Hello?
<echo>
struuter checks her pockets for sporks or a paring knife. Nothing.
How’m I going to get out of this? What are they doing out there? I’m not the most popular person, but surely they’ve missed me by now…haven’t they?
Someone will come and rescue me…won’t they? <she hugs herself in fear>
What if they don’t care? What if they wantedthis to happen? No, no. Snap out of it, struuter. They’ll come for you…if for no other reason than their hunger for…
<realization>
fierra’s snausages…they can eat…
<muffled sobbing…>
Say… I wonder if that’s stuuter’s evil twin enjoying the slides…
Hey has anybody seen Struuter and why does the monster look like it was going to throw up. Omigawd, it’s gonna blow…run for your lives…
<pan around to struuters hand resting on a wall inside the beast>
<zoom in to a detail level, showing the formation of frost and then…ice>
crack crack crack SMASH
<zoom back out, from over our fair maidens shoulder, we see a fist smash through the wall>
“Fairest struuter, I’ve come the rescue you. Our motto being that we never leave our troops behind, I devised a scheme to free you. Take my hand, follow me back through this hole I made after freezing a small part of the beasts side and then breaking through it.”
<spiral pan in to our weary snow, leading the beleaguered Mistress struuter from her ensnarement, trailing thread slime and ooze>
Oh My god it’s coming from within the belly of the beast. It sounds like someone sobbing pitifully. That must be where struuter is. I think I might have just the thing to help her.
>reached in bra and pulls out
a scalpel (safety wrapped of course, you don’t think I would just carry it around loose in there do you?)
>thinks to self…It’s not the real struuter’s body, it just looks like her.
Bystanders gasp
>Lunges forward and with one fell swoop makes a strutter-sized incision in the beast belly just as the thread beast smacks her with one giant paw and sends mermaid flying across the room, hitting the wall and falling to the floor with a dull thud.
Oooh that’s going to leave a mark.
Collapses, severely, possibly mortally wounded.