I’m craving chocolate and the only thing in my office is a 3/4 pack of Tim Tams.
My roomie is Australian and has a packet of them in the fridge, and an Australian coworker just brought this current packet as a gift from vacation.
The reason the packet here is 3/4 full is that each member of my department tried one and said “never again”. No freaking way.
They’re disGUSting.
The biscuit (cookie) is tasteless; the cream filling bland, and the chocolate… I’m gagging as I think about it. Slimy, waxy, plasticy. Worse than American chocolate. How do you Aussies eat this crap?
The only thing they’re good for is a Tim Tam Slam, and even that’s only successful because they’re some kind of industrial byproduct and hold their structure for minutes longer than would be normal for something actually made out of food.
Is this why you’re so keen to beat everyone at sport, because your chocolate biscuits are so vile and you need to prove yourselves some other way?
I’m off down the shop at lunchtime to buy some Penguins. Ha ha, stick that in your one-day series victory.
Well, at least I finally know what they are. I remember them from this article about Australia relocating itself to the North Atlantic so people would pay attention to them:
*“Australia bumped into us at about midnight local time,” said Hawaii governor Ben Cayetano. “They were very friendly — they always seem friendly — but they refused to go around unless we answered their questions. But the questions were impossible. ‘Who is Ian Thorpe? Do you have any Tim Tams? What day is Australia Day?’”
“Fortunately, somebody here had an Unimportant World Dates calendar and we aced the last one,” Cayetano added.*
I’m with you, jjimm. They are the blandest of all biscuits. They must have an amazing PR strategy behind them, because their appeal surely couldn’t lie in their taste.
I was a fan of the Mallowpuff before I moved to London and discovered the joy that is the Tunnock’s Teacake. The marshmallow is mellowier, the biscuit/mellow ration more favourable.
Ordinary Tim Tams are awful, although some of the variations - caramel, or dark chocolate are pretty good. I don’t get the ex-pat love for them, but there’s no accounting for taste - half my office thinks Pineapple Lumps are food of the devil, whereas I know in my heart that they’re one of my country’s great contributions to world cuisine.
Ah the Pineapple Lump. One thing I could never work out though - most of them are soft and chewy - but every so often you get one that snaps in half. Imagine someone at Lincoln Uni is getting a lot of money investigating the phenomenon.
The other great biscuit that I recally was the limited edition Mint Toffee Pop - when they launched in 2003 you could get sent a free packet per email address you supplied - our office was bursting with them for ages - like a humbug biscuit. But they’ve been discontinued now…
BTW my ire isn’t directed at all Aussie chocolate. Said roomie got me a Cherry Ripe bar too, and I fell in love instantly: where have they been all my life? Why can’t we get them here?
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