Time now for the Doper Beauty Pageant...

Inspired by a rant in the pit that lead to a link that listed the runner ups in my fair state, I ask you, the perfectly beautiful, text book balancing hottie’s these questions:

What would your platform be?
** What would your talent be in competition?**

Oh and some of these profiles are rather humorous:

Platform
The Give Large Amounts of Money And/Or Items of Significant Monetary Wealth to Rabid_Squirrel Foundation (TGLAoMA/OIoSMWtR_SF)

Talent
Looking fabulous. Naturally. :wink:

Platform
Wood, roughly ten inches off ground. Enough room to shuffle about comfortably.

Talent
Standing on said platform until boredom sets in. This may take up to two whole minutes.

Platform: UH?
Talent: Singing. Mayhap doing the butt-wiggle honey dance that Tiburon taught me.

Platform: Shoes
Talent: Less

Didn’t Rosie O’Donnell do a routine about this, back when she was funny? “I want to be a brain surgeon, and my talent is eye liner.”

Hey! You aren’t supposed to tell about the honey dance! That was special.

Honey dance? <raised eyebrow> :slight_smile:

I think we need an ugly contest for the rest of us too…

Platform: Train

Special Talent: Waking people up with my awesome early-morning farts. (No, really.)

Robin

<<edging away from MsRobyn>>

Platform: Cookies for Everyone!! Then a Nap.

Special Talent: Channeling Ethel Merman

Platform: shoes

Special Talent…ummm? We need one of those?

Platform: 9 3/4

Special Talent: Finding said platform.

Platform: I will bring about awareness of and raise money for the urgent need to develop robots to do all our work for us.

Special Talent: I can play video games for days straight.

Platform: The desperate need for plastic surgery for the middle and lower classes. Just because they are poor does not mean they have too look it!

Special Talent: Laying in a hot bathtub reading a book. It takes years of rigorous training to learn how to do this

Miss America goes to my school… yay!

Finally UCF gets recognition for something other than its programming team… we ARE the eighth largest school in the country, ya know…

Can I enter?

Platform: I’m the prettiest boy in the contest.

Talent: Stirring up controversy by entering women-only contests…

I dunno Dutchboy, we were watching some aerobic sport/dance competition last night on ESPN and it was a team event.

Pulsating music. Fit bodies. Finger tip body stands. choreographed jumps. Perky smiles. 1% body fat.Team event.

And the one team we caught had a guy in the fruitiest leotard/mock electric blue tuxedo top doing high kicks and rather impressively girly moves along side his two female team mates.

It was brutal to watch…more unnatural than seeing a man cry in public…yet we could not turn away.

Then we learned that this team was from Argentina. And they won.

So, if you promise to wear really fruity outfits and like puppies and waterfalls, then you are in.

Platform: Hijack

Skill:

::runs nekkid through thread::

Platform: (With a backward glance at iampunha)Overlooking People’s Shortcomings

Talent: Neck-popping in time with Stars and Stripes Forever

Platform: Good Manners Make Good Neighbors!

Skill: Proofreading. With a flaming baton!

Platform: Tea cozies for the underprivileged.

Talent: Check out my huge-toothed smile while I play a patriotic song on my accordion.

Gratuitous link to swimsuit pose.

[faking surprise]Ohmigod! I won! I can’t believe it![/fs]