Yeah, yeah, I’m cock-obsessed, but that’s not news. 
Leave it to The Onion to give me a new spiritual direction in life.
Hallelujah! Can I get an amen?
Gives whole new meanings to the phrase “speaking in tongues…” 
And I think even God knows there are some fundamentalists who would do well with some Cock in their lives!
Esprix
[Article deleted. Link kept – Alpha]
[Edited by Alphagene on 04-04-2001 at 03:48 PM]
Amen!!
Bwhahaha!!!
You have such a way with words, Esprix.
Hmmmm, I don’t know about the little children part, but otherwise, hey, if it’s your thang…
“Kneel before The Lord!”
Nobody ever wants to try my cock. I guess they’re all perfectly content with Jesus’.
(I’m going to hell with this post)
Sofa King’s remark reminds me of a picture someone sent me of a church sign with the following on it:
The Most Powerful Position Is On Your Knees
It’s even funnier now.
Uh, sorry, Alpha - I thought quoting a couple paragraphs was okay.
Esprix
You can make fun of Jesus all you want, but don’t piss off a moderator!
I assume it was a slip of your copy-paste finger, Es, but I’m pretty certain you quoted the entire article. At least I thought so too, after reading your post and then checking the link.
Nah, I’m hardly pissed…
Sorry, 'sprix. Again, nothing personal. I appreciate the link to the article, but your OP quoted close to half of the article. From the Onion’s masthead:
Emphasis mine.
Besides, the link by itself suits the intent of your OP just fine, IMO anyway.
Again, nothing personal, bud.
“The church says we should get down on our knees and repent! Well, excuse me, but didn’t being on my knees cause most of my sins?”
-Bob Smith
You gentlemen are obviously not familiar with the Post-Gay Movement, in which one is supposed to have a relationship with the Whole Man, not just genitalia.
However, it would put an entirely new meaning to that staple of church bulletins:
Prelude before worship…Organ solo
**SPOOFE Bo Diddly wrote:
Nobody ever wants to try my cock. I guess they’re all perfectly content with Jesus’.**
Tell you what, SPOOFE, I’ll be happy to do a comparision between yours and Jesus’s cock!
Is this Lowell guy a Catholic priest by chance???
(following SPOOFE to hell with that comment)
You’ll have to get his away from that Magdalene chick first.
(Oh, man, I’m REALLY in for it now…)
I wasn’t aware that the Canonical Gay Movement required the detachment of naughty bits before servicing them… 
This is somewhat reminiscent of an earlier Onion article:
This one is about a town that lives in awe of a man’s amazing ass. I swear that the writers must get the pictures first then write the story, there is no other explanation for why the pictures fit so well. Both stories fit their respective pictures perfectly. Just one look at the healing cock guy and you know that is what he is thinking.
Aw Esprix, i was going to post a link to this article to the SDMB too… it’s an Onion classic for sure. Damn, i love The Onion.
Come, come bathe!*
*[sup]even though i don’t technically have a cock[/sup]
**SPOOFE Bo Diddly wrote:
You’ll have to get his away from that Magdalene chick first.**
Naaaw… I’m sure He swings both ways. I mean, you hear about all of these “personal relationships” He gets involved in, with men AND women. Take FriendofGod for instance; he keeps going on and on about how much Jesus loves him and how he loves Jesus. 'Sides, longhaired, bearded guys are a favorite of mine.
Tell you what, I’ll do a taste-test on you then try to dig up this Jesus fellow and do a follow up and let you know.