I am happy with All Seeing, All Knowing, Master Of Time, Space, and Dimension.
Chief inspector of hot new male recruits.
i AM the eggman…
I would choose to rule over ALL dairy…Captain Carrot is OUT…doesn’t know gorgonzola…:rolleyes:
coo coo cachooo
I’d like the cabinet position of Secretary of Cruel and Unusual Punishment.
I want the unquestioned right to use each and every one of the British postnomal letters after my name.
If that can’t be granted, I will take the titles of Scourge of the West, Keeper of the Annals, and Perpetually Unindicted Coconspirator.
Could I have Quasi von Modem, Sire?
Q
Only the summa cum otio from the Society for Woolgathering. Which ought to be bona fides enough for any sovereign, on accounta we been recognized by Elizabeth II in 1968. (We’re just getting the plaque nailed up this week. Really, we promise.)
Catching up on my duties here. Please bear with me.
To both Influential Panda, nee’ Executive Minister of Pony Husbandry, and Bacon Salt, nee’ High Chancellor of Puppies, Kittens, and Duckies, you both will now forever be known as same. Go forth and treat with loving kindness all the ponies, puppies, kitties and duckies of the realm. We are depending on you to continue your work well done. I much approve.
Well considering you’re in the same family of fools as I, shouldn’t a title for yourself be obvious? < looms >
See, I got so excited at the thought that I couldn’t spell “specialize.” Sigh. But anyway, of course, eyeliner is allowable. Hell, from the royal perspective, it’s an absolute must!
< fans self > Erm, I’ll be adding a trip to your fair city soon to, um, see how you’re handling your duties. Yeah, that’s it. Be ready, my good man! < adjusts bosoms >
That’s quite a mouthful, so let’s dub you Master TSD, shall we? You’ll report to the baby Overlord of Everything Else and see what he’ll have you throw out of whack next.
I honestly hadn’t thought of anyone else. Granted!!
eggman, you know the first rule of the dairy club. No one must speak of the dairy… Ah hell, you know the routine. I’m too tired from being so important. You get with all the other Important Cheeses and sort this thing out, then let me know the results.
I swear, like I have time for such friviolities when there’s a Christmas Pudding to prepare for.
I don’t know. Can you demonstrate some examples of your past cruel punishments please? I certainly cannot appoint a poseur to this post.
P.S. If you’re really good, perhaps you can come by my chambers later. I have some, erm, documents I need some assistance with. Yes, that’s the ticket! Documents, I say.
Say I give you this right, can you then take all of the British postnormal letters and use them to make Scourge of the West, Keeper of the Annals, and Perpetually Unindicted Coconspirator sound less stuffy? Really, we must appear to appeal to the common man somewhere within my regime and I suppose this is as good a place as any.
Madam. 
Yes. But you shall be hence forth recognized as Exalted Baron Quasi von Modem, Beautiful Son. How is that? If there’s anything I can do for you further, please do not hesitate to make it known to one of my peon underling staff. Thank you.
Oy vey. Very well then, since I know longer remember what you’re even on about, just go ahead and do it. Whatever it is. Anything else you might need to add, take it up with Ruler of the Wasteland, Ayatollah of Rock and Roll-ah.
~
You’ve all been decent subjects so far, but I swear, everyone could damn well do a better job (except those animal people, they’re real good) of bringing me [ALICE!] gifts. Just sayin’.
Next!
<mod>
And I shall be The Scullery Boy Who Moves Threads From One Forum To Another As He Sees Fit.
TSBWMTFOFTAAHSF reporting for duty, your Highness.
Moved to MPSIMS.
IMHO > MPSIMS
</mod>
I’m humbled sir. I’m so sorry for your inconvenience. I thought I’d put it in MPSIMS to begin with.
< bows to our now beloved TSBWMTFOFTAAHSF >
Oops! Off with my own head? 
Until you sample the pleasures of our fair city, may I offer some home-made orange-pineapple-ginger ice cream? I, er, I mean, my staff, made it today.
[sub]Even with the unavoidable absences of my duties, I do keep my hand in.[/sub]
Woohoo! Chief Inspector Antinor01 all lubed up…I mean scrubbed up, scrubbed…and reporting for duty!
Well, I almost asked for Quasi Van Modem (in honor of my favorite composer), but I thought it sounded too much like a car part. 
Thanks!
QvM
Im so glad I wasnt the only one!
I’d be happy to be Dame Jemma!
I’d like either the Marquis of Mayo, or the Baron of Bacon.
Well, I’m trying to come up with a suitable Alice Cooper tribute to my title, but the only song titles that look appropriate would be “Public Animal #9” and “I Like Girls”.
Both would be accepted, although my personal wish is not nearly so grandiose. I would be happy as General Dogsbody.
I quite fancy “Burner of Kitten photos,oppressor of the weak and despoiler of virgins”
Which would I think show off my better side.
master of puppets
So at this point, it’s definitely titles for everyone! Especially Fetchund, who came up with the best Alice-related post.
Now, do we all feel entitled?
Can I go for Imperial Promoter of the Weak Nuclear Force? WNF has had a bit of a bad run, and we often take it for granted. I feel it needs a splash of positive PR to reshape public perception on such an unfortunately named fundamental force.
Also, if someone else, someone female and attractive, could take electromagnetism, we could spend our time liasoning about the electroweak force. Tough job, but someone has to.