Actualy they maybe right too about the money messing stuff up. Perhaps the answer from the kid would have been different if she had just asked for help. She really shouldn’t have offered money at the front.
I do not think anyone here is suggesting the kid shouldn’t be punished.
If the kid didn’t know/understand that he should help, (money or no money), why didn’t he? Because he wasn’t taught to do so by his parents. Therein lies the problem. If he did know better and didn’t help, same problem.
I guess it’s hard for me to cut some slack because like Goo and D-t-C, my dad raised me to be a good scout.
I am torn. At first read I thought “Nasty little bugger.” Then I thought of my nephew, he is six, granted a lot younger than the boy in the story, but he is also tall for his age and shy.
I imagine him in a blackout, going up some steps in a stairwell with some of those emergency lights on. It’s suddenly kind of a creepy scenario, now put an old woman in it asking for help to her apartment for a twoonie. I would’ve been freaked out myself. First of all, there is the whoe stranger danger, but also, I always found unknown seniors a little creepy.
I’m sorry, he was polite, but maybe a little freaked out by her. I can’t blame him.
The woman did not say “HELP ME SONNY!!” she offered him cash for a job, he declined politely and left.
Determining a persons level of distress in a stairwell is a skill most kids dont have, you had it? good for you.
My 8 yr old is very tunnel vision-y he sees only what he is concentrating on, if he was thinking about going upstairs, he would walk past me if i was on FIRE.
He is a polite loving tender child, never gets in trouble at school, is incredibly well behaved and never any trouble, but his focus is singular in nature.
My 12 yr old is a hateful sneaky bastard at home, rude disrespectful and ignorant in how he speaks to me. He gets suspended constantly from school, hates authority.
Recently at a busy grocery store, we both saw a middle age woman on crutches struggling to push her cart to her car.
Ted turned to me before i could say a word “mom? should i go ask that lady if she needs help?” I was proud fit to burst.
Now my point, if this same thing happened to my kids, my ‘good kid’ would have said “no thanks” and ran on his way, forgetting the woman existed before he took three steps, and my ‘bad’ kid would have taken all day to get her home and settled if needed, probably made her a sandwich and some tea.
You cant say this kid is bad for turning down an errand, she didnt say “HELP ME”, she said “hey carry this bag for a twonie?”
Go easy on the kid, at least he said “no thanks.”
Whether he’s evil spawn of Satan or a normally (?) self-centered kid, any 12 year old with even suboptimal intelligence ought to have responded to a little old lady sitting down in the middle of a stairwell, puffing for breath, and saying, “I’m having trouble,” or “I need help,” by either helping or going for help. I don’t care if she offered money, was primly sitting instead of sprawled in a corner, or looked like a scary old crone instead of Mrs. Claus. “Little old lady” + “sitting down in a stairwell” + “asking for help” = responsibility to take some kind of action.
Anybody who thinks the ability to recognize and respond appropriately to such a situation is beyond the maturity of a 12 year old must be crippling him with low expectations. I don’t know about punishment, but he certainly needs to be taught his proper place in and responsibility to the world around him.
Clearly, he hasn’t had proper raisin’. His parents should be ashamed of themselves. Are there actually people out there who think that it’s okay for a child of that age to be that oblivious to the suffering of others? Is it okay for a kid to be indifferently unhelpful to stranded little old ladies who are asking for help if he is politely unhelpful?
I’m ashamed to live in a society where little old ladies feel they have to offer a kid money to get some help when they are stranded in a stairwell during a blackout in the middle of the summer.
Anyway, FWIW, I think KGS is just trying to yank some chains. I hope so. I hate to think those responses were actually sincere.
Garbage. She offered the money. The kid thought he was turning down a job not being asked for help. He was wrong, but she muddied the water. It was her thought to offer the money to get help. Maybe that is sad that she thinks she has to, but that was not something the kid put on her. I think it was her low expectations of the kid that became a self fulfilling prophesy. Of course the kid should have behaved differently, but twelve year olds are not considered adults in our society for a reason.
Did you READ the op at all??
He says:
She did NOT say she was having trouble, she DID NOT ask for help, she asked him to carry a bag.
Carry. A. Bag.
Its summer, its hot, its dark, the kid is 12, he is NOT a fucking paramedic.
Maybe he had to take a leak really bad.
Let’s face it: The woman could have said all sorts of things that she didn’t say.
For example:
“Excuse me, son, I’m feeling hot and tired and weak, could you help me upstairs?”
Or, if that seemed like too much of an imposition on the boy, “Could you please alert the guards that I’m here and could use a hand?”
Or, “Could you bang on one of the doors on the next floor to let someone know I need help?”
I understand that she was reluctant to say those things. I even understand why, especially if she is a lady of a certain age and background, taught not to call too much attention to herself. But the fact is, as several others have noted, she didn’t make it clear what was actually happening. She made it seem as if this wasn’t an emergency, wasn’t a big deal at all.
So, the boy is being asked to see past her actual statements and to listen to what she’s NOT saying. That’s hard to do. It’s hard enough to do as an adult. It’s really hard as a pre-teenage boy. (Think of the stereotypical “guy in a relationship” who never gets the subtext, and multiply it by, oh, I dunno, 63. Kellibelli’s tunnel vision is a good descriptor.) Yes, the kid should probably have taken a moment to ask himself what was REALLY going on. And it’s too bad he didn’t offer more help.
But I think the real tragedy here isn’t the boy’s behavior. I think it’s that the woman was unwilling to let the boy know that she was in serious distress. Yes, the boy should be told that next time he should think a little more carefully; but more importantly, someone should tell the woman that if she’s truly in bad shape, she needs to let someone KNOW, and in language that is clear and unmistakable. Self-deprecation and stoicism are hardly virtues in the face of medical emergency.
Just my 2 (Canadian) cents.
Yes. Not only did I read the OP, I read the entire thread, including the entry where Crayons says that she “told the kid she was having a bit of trouble getting up to her floor on her own.”
The kid doesn’t need to be a “fucking paramedic” to respond to a little old lady sitting down in a stairwell saying she’s having some trouble with something a little more helpful than, “No, thanks.” I wouldn’t expect the kid to diagnose heat exaustion and resuscitate her. I would expect any kid who’s been properly raised to help her or go get some help for her, if for no other reason than that she is a little old lady sitting in a stairwell saying she’s having some trouble, whether she offers money or not.