Tragedy Struck Again Tonight

It happened to me again tonight. I feel demoralized, defeated, and downtrodden.

I thought I had learned from the past, from my pain. I know I made some mistakes but I really believed that things had changed and I might be happy again one day.

I’m so miserable and stupid, unfit to live even, but too much of a coward to invoke a final solution.

I let her go, she slipped right through my fingers, but I can look in the mirror and see by my reflection that I am solely to blame.

I dropped my savior, in her virgin whites screaming out to me, yes goddamnit my savior, into oblivion in the waters below.

I dropped a whole roll of toilet paper into the toilet!

This is why God gave you two hands.

You’re supposed to hang it on that thing, you know, with the little roller, that allows you to tear off not enough sheets at a time. If you search around, you probably can find instructions on the Internet.

Does it get lonely up there, in your ivory tower?

At least the Great TP Shortage seems to be mainly a thing of the past now. There’s other rolls at the store, man!

Now, if this had been a few months ago, I imagine you’d have no choice but to flee civilization in shame for such a wanton and wasteful act, living in the woods with the bears and the rabbits, and making do with leaves and moss.

Did you flush it? I imagine a cartoonish scene, where the roll, too ig to fit, just spins, unwinding as she goes.

Sure, but his other hand was busy.

I find you describing toilet paper in romantic terms to be…disturbing.


Well, that’s a lot more efficient than the way most of us do it!
(How does that even happen?)

Leaves and moss? Forget that. Use the rabbits - it’s what the bears do.

In life, much like in football, some fumbles are very costly. :smiling_imp:

Small consolation if he just dropped his only remaining roll. Although I suppose these are the moments when smart phones and Shipt really come in handy.

“just leave it outside the bathroom door. thx!”

Instructions unclear. House on fire.

Maybe one of those toilets that you can flush a bucket of golf balls down could handle it.

I once dropped the t.p. holder’s spindle into a toilet as it was flushing. I was very young and trying to do the right thing by replacing the roll. This taught me to close the lid before doing so.

That spindle disappeared faster than anything I’ve ever tried to flush on purpose.

Haven’t you been told about using the three seashells?


Bidet. Just sayin’

Next time, leave the cover down when changing rolls.

Or were you changing in mid-sit?

It’s not like it won’t dry out…

It depends what it fell into though…