I’m not playing any game. I’m in a pit thread where I’ve been called a rapist, asshole, and at least a half dozen other insults based on what I said. I don’t care to defend myself against things I haven’t said or something that wasn’t explicitly clear in my post.
..
It’s funny that you think people are judging you based on anything but your explicit words.
It appears from the shit you are currently getting (Giraffe’s post after mine was nearly identical), that you weren’t explicitly clear in your post, and perhaps you should quit now since you don’t care to defend yourself against not being explicitly clear.
I brought up this story as an example of what “no” can sometimes mean.
Yes, in your story, it meant “no.”
And in this case, it meant “No, even though I am sexually attracted to you”. That doesn’t refute that it still meant no.
But it still definitely meant no in that scenario. You get that, right? I mean, I assume you did, since you didn’t keep trying to fuck her that night
What is unclear about this post?
What’s unclear is whether you speak English.
It meant she didn’t want to screw you at that moment, nor was she under any social, moral, or legal obligation to.
See, there are lots of words in the english language for all that.
“I don’t know… can we take it slowly?”
“I’m not ready today, can I sleep on it and maybe in the morning/tomorrow/next time we go out?”
“Can we just snuggle and kiss a little, no sex tonight?”
“Hot damn, I was wondering when you’d ask for it!”
“No. I like spending time with you but I’m not into you that way, so please don’t ask.”
tries, what did it mean that night?
You are woefully wrong about this. “No” in this scenario did not mean “yes I want to but something is stopping me.” It meant “no,” and that is all that it meant.
It may be true that she wanted to and something was stopping her*, but that doesn’t mean that “no” meant she wanted to and something was stopping her. It meant “no,” and nothing else.
*And it may be false that she wanted to and something was stopping her. If you think she would have lied when she said “no,” then why assume she’s telling the truth now?
If you recall the genesis of this thread was MOL’s complaint that guys don’t listen. As she eloquently put it “Guys, Y U no listen?”. My argument was more or less that no doesn’t always mean no. Culminating in this post:
In this case, her no meeant “Yes, but I don’t want treis to think I’m a slut”.
As I also have said:
It is unclear to me why there is confusion about my terminology.
Absolutely true. Got no quarrel there.
Yes, there is. The first one is an absolute imperative. If you ignore it, you are a douchbag asshole, at the very least. The second one is merely good advice.
You do realize that those two statements of yours are not mutually exclusive, right?
Every time you repeat this “no doesn’t always mean no, bitches lie” bullshit, you are helping some asshole justify why it’s OK that he forced a girl to have sex when she didn’t want to.
I’m not going to dig back through this whole thread to get into “that’s not what I meant” bullshit with someone who has consistently maintained that when a women says NO, it doesn’t really count because he doesn’t think it should.
It doesn’t matter what her reason for saying no was, her no was still a no.
Sometimes I wonder if I am posting in English…
In this case, her no meeant “Yes, but I don’t want treis to think I’m a slut”.
[/QUOTE]
I get that you’re not arguing you should have pressed on and had sex with that girl despite what she said, but I also have no idea what point you think you’re making. Refuting “no means no” with “not true, sometimes women do want to have sex even when they’re saying no” is somewhere between pointless and patronizing. Do you think no one is aware of the concept of being tempted by something even if you opt not to do it? Do you think society is somehow being harmed by a simplistic message of erring on the side of boundaries when it comes to “no means no”? What wrong do you think you’re righting, exactly?
Treis,
It might have meant, “No. I really really want to, in fact I’m panting and horny as hell, but still no (for other reasons which for me, this instant, outweigh my horniness)” That fits her saying later that she did want to, without making her a liar, or making her ‘no’ invalid.
Do you understand that while most people say no to things they don’t want, in some circumstances a person can say no to things that they do actually want?