Reading this thread just brings tears to my eyes. You guys are so darn beautiful.
And majorly sick.
I should throw a Deviant Trekkers Ball.
Mutant Tribbles with fangs invade Crewman Redshirt’s quarters, crawl up onto their bed and start chowing down on 'em.
NCB: You naughty boy! 
Ship’s “discipline” really gets outta control on some o’ those sites…Google on your own; I ain’t gonna enable it any further.
Go Go gadget Phallus!
Ok, I’m sorry for that one…
LOL - Sejal - that was hilarious.
Yeah, looks like there’re some naughty folks, here in the Trek wing of the SDMB. Of course, you wouldn’t catch me stooping to such lows… No need to stoop. I’m already there.
Correction: They *threatened to show Data nude in that episode (“The Most Toys”), but didn’t deliver.
However, you can see a replica of Data’s bare ass on display in Dr. Soong’s lab in “Datalore”.
Eh? A scene or two after after the bad guy spills the cloth-eating acid on Data’s uniform, don’t we get a brief view of him unclothed?
Now that I think about it, they might have positioned the camera so we couldn’t see the region in question. Or am I completely misremembering the episode?
And that uniform-eating acid could be very useful in many of the scenareos people are proposing
Two words:
Explosive Decompression
I want to see space battles with all the gore, grit and realism of Aliens and Starship Troopers meets Saving Private Ryan and Black Hawk Down.
I want to see “red shirts” with half of their organs phasered away screaming for their mamas while their entrails splatter all over the bulkheads.
I’d like to see hoards of angry B’joran suicide b’ombers b’lowing up the Federation embassy on B’jor after a Federation humanitarian mission goes horribly wrong.
I want Picard and the rest of his crew escaping from a planet overrun by Borg, hanging from the landing skids on their shuttles like the fall of Saigon.
Data learns the pecular human practice of sodomy.
And lets not forget the ever popular Ferengi love slave auction
Would a decent script be too much to ask for in this circumstance?
To be silly, I’d be tickled if they realized that Worf and Wesley slash fiction.
Worf stood over Wesley’s nude body on the bed. “A Klingon boy of your age would have lived through that.”
Well, an “R” rating would probably be sufficient to get a gay couple on screen, like in the never produced “Blood and Fire” episode of TNG.
…and I’d like to see 7 of 9 crush someone’s skull with her exoskeleton arm, but that’s just me.
Or Phasers set to “burn,” on “wide field,” for once.
Sadly, we’ll never get to see the properly R-rated demise of Wesley, since in the movie Star Trek: Nemesis:
[spoiler]He was killed offscreen in the Reman attack. He was, right? I mean, he was on the ship at the beginning of Nemesis, they were diverted to Romulus, and he didn’t horn in and save the day, so he must have died in the attack, right? We never saw him again, so he must have been sucked into space. Or maybe he and Guinan were both in Ten-Forward when Picard rammed the Reman ship:
GUINAN: Shouldn’t you be up on the bridge helping out or something?
WESLEY: (sipping Vulcan Shirley Temple) Don’t worry, I always arrive in time to save the day.
BOTH LOOK UP IN TIME TO SEE THE BOW OF THE REMAN SHIP HEADING AT THEM THROUGH THE VIEWPORTS.
WESLEY: (simultaneously doing a spit take and soiling himself) WHAT THE F–
BOTH ARE CRUSHED ONTO OBLIVION.
…That’s how it must have gone, right?
Right?[/spoiler]
Woo hoo! Kirk/Spock slash fiction!
Ok, a real idea.
Enterprise format.
The crew of the Enterprise stumbles upon a planet that appears to be Hell. We, the audience, are shown things that the crew has hidden from them. Like the winged demons stalking the crew’s every move.
It seems straightforward at first, then things start to happen.
For one, Malcom meets a human (?) who knows about his fear of drowning. This mans offers Malcom the opportunity to rid himself of this unmanly (to Malcom) trait, but for a price. He (STD*) wants a small peice of an idol T’Pol keeps in her quarters. Repulsed by the idea of theivery, Malcom refuses.
As Malcom makes his way back to the shuttle, he developes a cough. Niggling at first, it gets worse the closer he gets to the shuttle and the camp. Finally, spasms wreak his body and he collapses to the ground. Bloody foam leaks from his nose and mouth and his skin looks ever so slightly wrinkled, just as it would if you spent the day in a bathtub.
When his body is found, the Doc proclaims the cause of death as drowning.
Captain Archer orders that no one ventures from camp alone.
More to follow…
- Satan the Devil
I just noticed this, and I have to say, “eeeeew!”
That sounds about as appealing as the old Onion article Black Bear Attacks, Rapes Zookeeper. shudder
There’s some ‘mature’ ST material in this thread if you scroll down a little
"Beverley Crusher and Seven of Nine froze the moment the ship’s alarm system burst into action. Seven reached for the showerhead:
“This is no time for gusset gushing, Seven, my love”
“That is correct, Doctor, but I must wash the suds from your flawless, alabaster breasts”
…read on…
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=89021&highlight=Crusher
I found that thread on a search a few months back and got quite involved in it. Too bad i wasn’t around for that.
FTR, best. erotic. episode. ever.
(my specialty seems to be occultism and violence. mix all three, and we go NC-17!)
How about something featuring a close-up of NoClueBoy’s oozing eye?
:eek:
What happened, anyway? You can fictionalize it here.
The Enterprise goes to Gor.
“You are well and truly a slavegirl, then, Troi?”
“Well and truly am I a slavegirl. I did not realize in my heart of hearts that my other parts were made for the pleasure of men. Especially manly men. The manlier the men, the more I am a slave to them.”
“I am glad to hear it.”
“It is but the tiny wishes of this slavegirl, as nothing in this large and unfeeling universe I used to give a flip about.”
“I wish you well, then.”
“I wish YOU well.”
“Tal.”
“Tal.”
“Goodbye and may you always be well.”
“Goodbye and I hope for your happiness.”
“Can we just stop talking now?”
“If it is to your pleasure.”
“Geesh. SHUT UP!”
“A slavegirl is pleased to shut up when she is so ordered.”
“Jeebus.”
“Who?”
“Set phasers on stun, men, she won’t shut up.”
“A sla… ack!”
[hijack]
the oozing eye is from my ski vacation. The wildly flailing about bit of a wire coat hanger got poke-ded in my eye. The reason the eye and the hanger bit were in close proximity is because it’s hard to unlock a friend’s '97 Accord without keys. I can see, but at night, it oozes. Just a bit now. Got some fancy dancy eye drops from Doc after he licked my eye socket clean and attatched Rigelian blood worms to my bits which are no where near my eyes (methinks Doc’s a perv…)
So, anyhoo, I’s fine. Get it? I’s, eye’s…? Nevermind…
hey, it’s my thread…
[/hijack]
On Planet Hell, Hoshi begins to hear voices calling to her. She tries to resist, but the more she pushes the words out of her mind, the more compelling they become. Following a shadowy shape, she is surprised to find herself in the most amazingly equiped linguinstics center she could’ve possibly imagined.
She learns languages of species they haven’t even encountered yet, with the aid of an intreaguingly simple computer program. STD informs her the program can be hers, if… she brings back to him the codes for accessing the Vulcan Science Directorate.
Hoshi protests that this translating program should be made known to all the universe, but that she can’t break her oath of fealty. (It’s actually a rather long scene, lots of dialogue…)
In the end, STD lets her go, if she promises not to speak of this to anyone. She agrees, but is determined to tell Captain Archer.
As she attempts to divulge the information to him, she finds she cannot speak. Worse, she cannot breathe. Archer and Trip rush her to the Doc, but nothing has any effect on her. She arches her lithe body, reaches out to Trip, and dies. Doc declares it a type of anaphylactic shock.
More to follow…
Terrifel
You are right… With the following exception:
There would have to be grisly and detailed footage of Wesley’s head being compressed, in ultra slow motion, between the two vessels to the point of there being no particulate matter remaining after his blood steamed and boiled into space leaving only a strangely unidentifiable grease spot on the exterior hull of the other ship…
Sejal_Traurig:
Well, maybe there’ll be an Easter egg on the Nemesis DVD.
Hope springs eternal.