But please, do not attempt oral sex after using shampoo as a lubricant.
Why? Some people really get into the rabid dog role-playing thing.
I still can’t understand how anyone could think shampoo was a good option.
slight hijack…
Please invest in good lube… Don’t just use whatever’s available. With a condom that’s one precaution, but… If you are not using condoms (I’ll leave out the responsibilities that go with this… pill, ect…) don’t let this give you the idea that you can just use whatever. See… I used to have this aftershave lotion WITHOUT alcohol, and one day I accidentally used one WITH alcohol… One day my gf was hurting down there… What can I say? She LIKED it a lot! so she decided to give me a hj, and I say, "Hey, just grab some of that aftershave. Eventually we start intercourse. The next day I hurt so bad and the skin was a little swolen and red. It was also our last day together before I came to America and we couldn’t have sex 
When I came back it took about two weeks for it to stop peeling and return to normal working order.
/end bad lube story hijack
For Og’s sake, be careful when you’re bouncing your full body weight around. Broken penises are not uncommon. I’m not joking.
Err…probably not helping spinoza much, but it’s something that needed to be said.
Man I haven’t googled hymen in a loong time!
Wouldn’t conditioner work substantially better than shampoo?
I’d think silky manageable pubes would win out over peeling scrotum anyday!
It was the night we moved in together; nothing else was available.
No vaseline, conditioner,nothing.
NO ONE SHOULD TRY THIS AT HOME.
We were trained professionals. :o
I’ve known a few whiskey bottles, and a rifle or two (just not intimately, you understand, but I’m prepared to be enlightened, if your experience is broader than mine. I don’t promise to try whatever, you understand, but I’m willing to hear about it.).
But I’ve never heard of a case where either of them was a “people”. My personal preference, for “the most fun that can be had by two people” has always been an opposite sex member of my own species. <shrug> YMMV
A now-departed friend, being ragged with the question, “Are you homosexual or bisexual?” - by someone Ahnold probably would have enjoyed palling with - responded “I’m a trisexual; I’ll try anything.” Perhaps you’re of Fritz’s persuasion?? :dubious:
Maybe you could enlighten us? Or was it after you’d emptied the bottle (or its brother) that it (or the rifle) started talking to you? 
OK, the guys have given you some pretty good information about angles and stuff; as well as some really good relax and enjoy it advice, so you are pretty much good to go…I just want to reinforce a few things.
First of all, DON’T use shampoo as a lubricant. We’re all glad it worked for Vanilla , but trust me, that is unusual. Your partner’s vaginal area is very sensitive and she would likely end up with a rip-roaring irritation at best “down there” and not let YOU ever get close to her again. Use only water-based lubricants, even go ahead and invest in one of the better ones, like Astrolube…it costs a little more than K-Y, but she is worth it, right?
Relax. The guys may disagree (or these guys may agree 
) but I think you should share with her your apprehension. She will probably appreciate your honesty and your trusting her with your feelings than you know. It would probably allow both of the to put the apprehension on the back burner and relax. Agree to figure it out together. Laugh if you can. It is supposed to be fun.
My first sexual experience would not add much to this discussion, but I will tell you about my first encounter with a tampon. Read the box, read that little info sheet in the box and got all ready. Sitting on the toilet of my dorm suite, my suitemates locked out and anxiously awaiting the outcome. It would not even begin to go in. Totally forgetting the reason I was using the tampon, my mind made the only natural leap and I began envisioning My Life Without A Vagina , all the while forgetting about said tampon which I had left “in position” as I outlined the sad life ahead of me. Then, guess what, it slid right in. No surprise there. I had taken my mind off shoving it into me and let my body accept it. Not quite the same thing, but close. Remember, early on we don’t really know a whole lot about our* Garden of Eathly Delights* either. Figure out the mystery together.
And Shirley Ujest , don’t be googling with Hymen ;j …he is all mine.
Hear, hear! You would be better finding the olive oil then shampoo! The girly bits don’t like soapy things. It makes them itchy and upsets the whole balance of things.
Holy CRAP people. A few words I’d like to have with y’all.
-
Patience.
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Oral sex.
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Protection.
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Astroglide.
And now a short sermon on lube. Shampoo, aftershave, soap, and pretty much any product designed to “clean” is going to chafe, kill bacteria, burn, itch, and so forth. Infections are not fun; chafing and blisters are not fun. Stick with Astroglide (found in most drugstores) or other commercial water-based lubricant. Swing by a sex shop and buy some high quality lube and some good condoms, and get her a nice vibrator while you’re there. If you two can’t go into a sex shop together without getting all giggly, then you’re not ready to have sex together.
Any updates yet?
Lather. Rinse.Repeat in Twenty minutes.
Penalty box? JC, What no Yellow Card! The reffing here sux!
*Tweet, indeed. *
I swear I didn’t weigh as much then as I do now!!! No penises were harmed in the taking of my virginity!
runs out of thread, face burning in embarrassment
[QUOTE]
No penises were harmed in the taking of my virginity!
[QUOTE]
Just how many peni were involved in the taking of your virginity? A battalian of peni? A flotilla of dicks?
Please…
you aren’t serious are you? Who doesn’t get gigly when they go into a sex store? You can’t tell me when you look at the flashlight vagina that you want to laugh? Or a blowup doll? Or the crotchless panties? Most of that stuff is hilarious. Some people may just have a lighter approach to things, you know. I think the poster knows if he is mature enough to have sex, and doesn’t need any lectures.
what’s wrong with getting the giggles in a sex toy shop? half the fun is giggling at things=) [honestly, who wants a butt plug a foot tall and 8 inches in diameter? looked like r2d2 sort of, but had the overall diamond on a base look of normal buttplugs, just sort of more stumpy…]
mrAru and I like a particular one on the other side of the state from us, so it is a major trip to go and get stuff. They cater to the D/s crowd so have some pretty odd stuff, and it is worth a few giggles=)
<must resist an urge to find a icee blue double dong…>
Seriously,
As someone else mentioned, pick up some Astroglide brand or Silk E brand lubricant. You can get it at your local Walgreens or Target and don’t need to find a sex shop to buy it. It’s comes in a little bottle and is a slippery liquid.
Put some on yourself and a little on her and your ready to go.
I don’t think I’d try K-Y jelly, it sounds a little messy.
flashlight vagina?
:eek: