Trump limericks

The BBQ Pit
1

A few months back there was a COVID limericks thread which I thought had promise, but unfortunately didn’t get much response. I’ve been thinking a thread about trump limericks might have more richly surreal (or plain batshit crazy) material to draw from.

Not sure if this is the best forum, but I posted in the Pit to have the freedom to be as profane and insulting as necessary. Here’s a couple to get the ball rolling:

trump’s partner in crime is Bill Barr
Who gave the Justice Department a scar.
Barr’s awful malfeasance
Is most of the reasons
trump’s fascism has gotten so far.

Antifa and lefties and thugs, oh my!
Is trump’s dubious rallying cry;
he pours fuel on the fire
Like a crazy town crier.
trump says vote for me or you’ll die.

2

Those two Trumps: Don and Fred,
Racism their butter and bread.
One buried in a spot,
That is the family plot;
The other sees plots in his head.

3

Donald’s in love with his daughter
I abhor to think that he’s pawed her
He’d give her a poke
But after having a stroke
He can’t even lift his water

4

Our forty-fifth President’s schtick
Makes the rest of the world think we’re sick
And that is one reason
I always say he’s an
America-hating fuckstick

5

Good ones!

6

For crimes against democracy
To find himself in pillory
A delight to behold
(For my heart has grown cold)
To hear him cry “What about Hillary?”

7

A lot of people are saying
That something’s gone wrong in his brain
Be it possible stroke
Or addiction to coke
Either way, US people are paying

8

There once lived a man in a castle
Who despite being generally facile,
Took the USA throne
And made it his own
And seated the world’s biggest asshole!

9

A country, once noble and proud,
Is beset by a dangerous crowd
Of sexists and racists
And violent fascists
Who scream “no more thinking allowed”.

10

More great limericks! I hope they keep on coming. Here’s one based on the Atlantic article from yesterday:

trump has shown he’s a captured vet hater
yet his ratings with supporters don’t crater
what will it take
till they see their mistake
face it, trump’s just a coward and traitor.

11

A Limerick for Trump
I don’t think he knows Haiku
from a #~<%ing limrick

12

That incompetant asshole named Don
who everyone knows is a con
He lies off his ass
yet they give him a pass
I really can’t wait till he’s gone.

13

This is not a limerick, but I wrote it a couple of weeks ago:

The Squanderer

Oh, I’m the kind of guy who
Won’t acknowledge luck
I refuse to understand
The value of a buck

I take whatever I’m handed
I’m convinced that I deserve it
The praise I get from sycophants
Is due because I earned it

They call me the squanderer
Yeah, the squanderer
I squander every opportunity I have

I steal money from the poor
Then I give it to my friends
I will sleep with every whore
And I buy their silence with charity dividends

Oh, I’m the kind of guy who
Believes that since his birth
That I’m the greatest human
Who has ever walked this Earth

Every random thing I say’s
The greatest thought to think
As for my golden toilet
Inside there it doesn’t stink

They call me the squanderer
Yeah, the squanderer
I could improve the world but broke it all instead

14

News Item: Bill Barf says DOJ will defend Trump in E. Jean Carroll defamation case.

As quoted in Raw Story article: