I like Tampax, and they make a slender regular size that’s pretty darn small. (There used to be a “junior” size that was even smaller, they might still have it).
A lot of the information may not be useful (or she’ll roll her eyes or snicker at) but a lot will. Among things in the book, there are pictures in there of various hymens (normally, it’s hard enough to see your own, much less anyone else’s. It’s just not something that can be easily compared.) They’re not all the same. And that may be useful to know if she decides to try to use a tampon.
I have not found that to be true. Not the least. But my body has been weird in other ways.
Almost all girls go through a stage in life where their measurements are 30-30-30. It’s kind of a tubular time in life, usually about 10-13 years old, and lasting less than a year. It’s kind of odd that a woman might have a 24 inch waist as an adult, but have a 30 inch waist as a preteen. If I were worried about it, I’d make sure she was involved in some sports activity year round (bike riding, swimming, team sports) and leave it at that.
Exactly. It was a problem in the 80s because there was some brand of tampons with sponges in them, but it is incredibly rare nowadays. IANAD, but it is extremely unlikely to get TSS. She should be aware of it, but she shouldn’t freak out if she left a tampon in overnight or for 8.5 hours or whatever. I remember one time I thought I had it (I was getting a fever around the time I had left a tampon in for a while) and I got myself all worked up about it. So much so that I ended up fainting in the bathroom after I read the thermometer. Which I then had to explain to my dad when he came upstairs to investigate the thump.
I call bull on that and second what another poster pointed out - Unless you’re a gusher (and I mean buckets at a time) for the 15-30 minutes you’re showering there would be less than a few ml of blood coming from your body, and if you’re a light bleeder it would be less than that. So if you wipe or take your tampon out just before having a shower, then by the time you get out again, there’s barely enough to notice, if any at all. I certainly notice if I’ve not had a tampon in when showering. It’s not leaking down my legs a la Carrie, but when I towel down there I’ll end up with some redness on the towel.
Even when swimming for a few hours, there’s barely that much blood involved, and water washes and disperses the blood pretty well. So they may think they’re not bleeding, but they are and any assertations to the contrary need to be referred back to basic biology class please (deep down we’re just animals and nature takes care of that my curvy white ass)
Two thoughts:
I’ve always found hydrogen peroxide to remove bloodstains almost instantly from even very old stains. Helpful hint for keeping panties unstained in those first, “yay whacky, irregular cycles” years.
Secondly, I am completely in love with reusable, terry-cloth and flannel pads. They make 'em with funky fabrics and they’re soft, warm, and fuzzy. Tampons sorta creep me out, and I never bled enough to use even very light tampons, anyway. I only wish I knew there was any alternative to the diaper-feeling disposable pads in my teenage years, although I used tampons much of the time because that was the way my female friends did it, so I did, too.
I notice that you’re in Australia. Here in the U.S., terms like “super” and “regular” are regulated. From the side of my Tampax Pearl box:
Tampons come in the following standardized industry-wide absorbencies. Use the chart for comparing absorbencies of all industry products.
…
Absorbency----Absorbency Range
Junior----Less than 6 grams
Regular----6-9 grams
Super----9-12 grams
Super Plus—12-15 grams
Also, each categor is color-coded. I don’t know if that’s regulated or not, but I notice that most brands use the following colors to mark the boxes and individual tampon wrappers:
Junior–pink
Regular–blue
Super–green
Super-plus–orange.
Of course, the comment that different brands swell up differently does hold here, as well. For example, in regular Tampax, I’d use super-plus, but in Tampax Pearl, the super works. My Tampax Pearl box carries the warning:The risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS) increases with higher absorbency. In order to reduce your risk of TSS, you should use the lowest absorbency that meets your needs.
As far as flushing the tampons–DON’T! Yes, some systems can handle it, but plenty of others can’t. And it’s not determined by the age of the system either. Just don’t let her get into the habit of flushing, and she’ll be safe.
As far as your…delicate question: I imagine it would be difficult to remove the tampon while in a sitting position. I stand, knees bent, and remove it. Then I wrap it and dispose of it. I sometimes wrap it in TP, but more commonly, I’ll open the cabinet, pull the paper wrapper off of a roll of ScotTissue, and wrap it in that. Just seems more eco-friendly to do it that way. But it doesn’t really matter. T.P works just fine.
So, you might find that your daughter’s TP consumption goes way up. There’s the tampon wrapping and the fact that you just have to wipe more when you’re having your monthlies. Don’t say anything about this to her–just make sure there’s plenty of TP in the bathroom for her. You can mention that if she is putting a greater than normal amount of TP in the toilet (whether from the extra wiping or from the diarrhea that sometimes accompanies menstrual cramps) that she should give a flush partway through so it doesn’t get clogged.
Also, consider getting a covered wastebasket in the bathroom, so she doesn’t have to worry that someone will see her little wrapped bundles. This sounds like a silly concern, but many young girls are afraid that someone will know. Eek! Your daughter sounds quite mature in this regard, but still, why not make it easier for her? And start using liners in the wastebasket if you don’t already. This will reduce the “ick factor” for her.
Oh, and I don’t remember whether you have a dog or not…but doggies sometimes like to pull the used tampons out and play with them. (And they always do this in front of guests.) So, if you have a dog, get a covered wastebasket!!
You know, I’m really glad you asked this question.
o.b. tampons are a bit different. I love o.b. because they fit a lot more comfortably (for me) and they only leak when they are so completely full they simply can’t hold any more liquid. The only downside is that because they have no applicator, if you remove a tampon too early, it can be a bitch to shove one up there because the vaginal walls have been sucked dry by the tampon.
The good thing for heavy bleeders is that, like I said, o.b. is different. Their different categories are:
Absorbency (color) ----Absorbency Range
Regular (pink) ----6-9 grams
Super (green) ----9-12 grams
Super Plus (yellow) —12-15 grams ULTRA (purple) — 15-18grams
Those purple Ultras can be lifesavers, I tell ya!
They have a new sub-brand out, called Silk Ease. They’re regular o.b. tampons but they have a plastic mesh coating that makes them easier to insert. Personally, I love these because they absorb just as much (YMMV of course) but are easier to shove in if you’ve pulled a tampon out too early.
Here’s my advice on pads: don’t get too excited about those “dry weave” ones; they advertise having the plastic mesh coating (just like the tampons I love, which is funny) that “whicks away moisture” *. In my experience, they stick stick stick to your skin. I would pull my undies down and the pad would be stuck to my crotch; peeling those off aren’t fun. As an added bonus, I got a freaking rash from the close contact and dampness. I personally recommend Kotex pads (I use pads overnight and tampons during the day).
I love it. “Moisture”. Just be honest and say “absorbs big globs of uterine lining and blood”.
Imagine my surprise when my first period didn’t come out as runny blue liquid
I used pads (with belt!) until I needed to go swimming, and then I switched to Playtex, my Mom’s brand. They did hurt pulling them out (they probably weren’t full yet; that makes them much easier to put out). I had my period at 11 and sex for the first time at 21, and my hymen was still there after ten years of tampons.
Now I pretty much stick to Playtex with Always winged liners for extra protection (or alone on light days). I have had fever with them which feels better after removing the tampons, but I’m sure that is a coincidence; is there such a thing as a mild case of TSS?? I just remember the woman on the cover of the NY Times Magazine who had lost the tips of her fingers from TSS.
After leaving the city, I have re-trained myself not to flush tampons; my rural pals told me sternly never to flush such things because of the septic system.
I was just at Walmart and saw a cute, inexpensive little bag (probably intended for makeup) with a cat on the front. She could get something like that to keep her tampons in, or get a small makeup bag. Her mother might even have an extra makeup bag lying around; I know I used to have tons of them because I would get the free goodie bags when I bought a certain amount of department store makeup.
When I was young (before birth control) my periods were quite heavy. They didn’t stop for swimming or showering (blood running down my legs while toweling off, a la Carrie, as mentioned above) seven or eight extra-absorbant pads a day… lots of leaks, but I only had two or three periods a year.
After going on birth control, I’ve stopped having periods, mostly. A little spotting each month, a big one once a year or so. Also, my cycle didn’t really start equalizing (once a month) until I was 25. I would go months without having a period, then I would have two in four weeks, etc. This is normal in my family (my mother’s never got regular until she was a year from menopause).
I found tampons to be too much of a hassle, and now my flow is so light, they are uncomfortable to insert with so little lubrication.
You know, I dont think I have been more thankful then ever for being a man. How the hell do women put up with this stuff?? I thought having a 24x7 erection in high school was a pain!
Also, mention the existence of menstrual cups. I’m not sure how old you need to be to use them, but when I finally started using tampons instead of pads, I didn’t know why I’d gone without them for so long and never looked back. Now that I’ve started using a menstrual cup it’s like the same thing but multiplied by 5 and I wish I’d been using one since I was 12. “Where have you been all my life?!”
Also, mention that regarding fresh blood stains, very cold tap water is the way to go, not hot water.
So much has already been said so I’m just gonna give my opinion.
I started my period when I was 10. I started using tampons very shortly after. Pads were just too gross for me. However, I was and still am very - um - small down there. Most tampons hurt like hell for me (going in), even after being sexually active for 7 years. I never knew that they came without applicators until one of my foster mothers stocked up on OB when I was about 16. They are by far the most comfortable to use and to put in, especially if you’re small. Also, they’re very discrete. I can keep them in my pocket even while wearing a tight pair of leggings and no one can see them. I don’t know if they’re still doing this but the first time I bought my own box, it came with a little blue plastic box. It holds 4 regular or 3 super size tampons - which for me is enough to get through a day at work even on my heaviest day. Even the box can be kept in a pocket without showing anyone what it actually is.
I always wear a tampon while swimming. They never give me a problem. It’s even possible to keep the string dry while swimming if you tuck it gently inside you - right inside so you can still reach it. I’ve never lost the string this way and it also saves from having to change the tampon right after swimming.
And I am very grateful you posted to it. Your entire post is excellent and helpful but this shines. We use liners in the wastebaskets throughout the house- but this hadn’t occurred to me. Excellent. I’ll do it.
The household supply of toilet paper is kept in a huge deep closet in the girls’ bathroom. ( lol… I tend to use the downstairs one, as does the Man-Cub. It’s never been refinished. I did the upstairs one a few years ago. It’s newer, prettier and has the jacuzzi tub in it to boot, along with a huge horizontal mirror with large round bulbs all around. I figured at the time I was re-doing it, ahh…this is the girls’ room). She always has spare rolls at hand.
I’m glad I asked this too. I am learning an awful lot.
I just need to say this. In reading through all of the posts so far, it occurs to me that some posters and perhaps quite a few readers of this thread may think I’m in this way too deep for any Dad to be. Understand that almost all of my concerns/curiosities are internal and will be discussed only if daughter broaches the topic. I wish to understand so that I am ready when such topics arise.
She’s 13. Believe me, I’m very very aware of how hard it is to go through puberty ( at least as a boy ) and watching her finesse her way through her body’s changes and her hormonal swings ( which may charitably be described as complex ) makes me admire her a lot. She’s doing just fine with it all, from what I can see.
I could see where it might appear I’m making this a huge topic in the household life, or talking about it too much with her. Such is not the case. I just wish to understand…and be ready.
Her jaw did drop when some mention was made somehow in a movie, or conversation, of boys always being “ready” by having a condom in their wallet. I went and got a latex glove from the box, and tugged it on. ( I knew the box was pretty old ). The glove disintegrated somewhat, and left flaps of latex along my hand and wrist. I said, " This is what happens to a condom a boy keeps in his wallet. You’ll carry your own when you are ready, and throw them out every few months to be replaced with ones not out of date ". She just looked at the shredded latex. Picture’s worth a thousand words.
[condom lecture hijack]
Condoms are good for a year or several, depending on how they’re stored. A condom is fine kept in a wallet for no more than two days, and should never be left in a glove box, or anywhere in a car really, if you’re in a climate where the interior gets hot.
[/clh]
Not at all. It simply seems like you’re trying to get an understanding of the whole topic. The mechanics of menstruation are easily understood. The feelings are not. And little stuff that’s completely obvious to a woman, like what you do with your used tampons, are not always so obvious to a man.
And to Dob and any other men who may be reading this thread–for most women, menstruation is no big deal and quite easy to deal with. The hardest part is at the beginning, when you don’t know what you’re doing. It looks complicated, all laid out like this, but it’s not. It was easy for me. My mom explained what needed to be explained, and she just started buying more of the Tampax that she was buying already. Toonie’s daugher doesn’t have that luxury.
But it doesn’t really matter. T.P works just fine.
I personally recommend Kotex pads (I use pads overnight and tampons during the day).