I’m in the kitchen. MIL is in the living room. I’m trying to read the SDMB, and she will not. shut. up. Not long monologues, mind you; just one comment after another, but each one too M&P even for MPSIMS.
Her: “Dry for the next five days; isn’t that wonderful.” Fourth time she’s commented that there’s no rain predicted this weekend.
Me: “Cool.”
“There’s waves two stories high in Jamaica.”
“Not good.”
“I don’t know why these people go on TV and act like that.” (Re: Springer episode.)
“Because it gets them on TV.”
“What are you finding out on there [SDMB]—anything?”
“People talking about Bush and Kerry.”
“Did you ever see the movie Jumpin’ Jack Flash? [plot summary] I thought you might have, because you’re so into computers…What do you mean you don’t know anything about computers?”
“I just know how to sign on to the Straight Dope and read and post. Anything goes wrong with the computer, I’m at the mercy of Best Buy.”
“Nine seconds left and it’s tied 10-10.” (There’s football on at this time?)
Now she’s giving me a play-by-play of Letterman interviewing some actress.
I’m praying she goes back to the farm tomorrow. (Lest anyone get the wrong idea, I mean an actual farm, about an hour from here, where she will be living after this house gets sold.)
You know, you could always try not responding to her inane chatter. If she finally gets upset about your not paying attention to her, just say something like, “Sorry, I was so focused on reading this that I must not have heard you.”
Then, immediately go back to not responding to her. Be sure to put on a look of intense concentration.
I refused to make this journey unless I had internet access. Which had to be installed when we got here. FIL’s former office was vetoed as a possible location, for some odd reason, so the kitchen was the fallback, being less than 25 feet away from the TV, and consequently the cable hookup.
Strictly speaking, I’m in the breakfast nook, which shares a wall with the living room. But I’m steps away from the fridge and the powder room. If it wasn’t for the constant chatter (which has, in fact, died down somewhat since I started this thread), I’d never want to leave!
I’m working towards that. See, I’m hesitant to do anything that comes off as rude. I like her, really, when we’re having an actual conversation, as opposed to this verbal equivalent of goldfish crackers. Plus, this is her house! And she rarely has company (friends moved away/died/etc.; relatives thin on the ground).
So what I’m doing is updating her on various threads that I’m reading. I think she’s gradually getting the idea that Pit and GD threads do, in fact, require a lot of concentration, and will eventually leave me to them. Diplomacy is key.
I’m always afraid I come off like this to Gr8Kat, my employer. I’m her caretaker and when I’m not doing anything (which is most often), I’ll just talk about whatever but usually stop when I realize I’ve been talking in circles and not saying much of anything. She’s yet to tell me to shut up after four months though, so either I’m too self-conscious or she has the patience of a saint.
I don’t know if or why I’m overly emotional tonight, but the OP made me cry. It sounds as if she’s lonely and wanted someone to talk about things with, even if those things were trivial. I spend a lot of my time alone because my husband travels for work 70% of the year. Depending on my schedule, I can go for days at a time without talking to another human being (except him, because he calls every night). I don’t get lonely because I have a lot to do, but I can see how someone could get that way.
She needs to be on the Internet, maybe. There are lots of places to chatter.
She does not read books for pleasure. She does not see me with my nose in a book as “quiet time”. She apparently comes to the conclusion that since I’m just “sitting there”, I can hold a conversation of inane chatter for hours on end.
I, too, really like my MIL so I won’t be rude but dayam! When we visit her, it’s our vacation so being able to pick up a book without interruption is a treat.
If anyone remembers my BiL rant in the Pit, you’ll understand the irony of this.
He’s gone, finally, and my MiL has moved in so she can save the money to follow us to Nevada. I love this woman. My dear mother died 2 years ago and my MiL has so many mannerisms, habits, hobbies, even ways of talking and phrases that’s it’s like God gave me a second chance of haviving a mom.
But she won’t shut the fuck up when I’m trying to watch something. Be it a football game, NASCAR race, sitcom, or even a DVD, she doesn’t get it. There is a perfectly good set of chairs in the computer room, there is a very nice kitchen table to sit at and chat if needed. If you know damn well I want to hear what’s happening in what I’m watching, go away! (I actually feel guilty saying this even though she’ll never see it)
And if they (my wife can be guilty of this, too) go to the kitchen to chat, THEY ASK ME TO TURN DOWN THE SOUND OF WHAT I’M WATCHING! Never thinking that the volume is set so I can hear it over them.
I swear, when my grandmother’s final estate check comes I’m buying an RV so I can watch shit in peace.
Sorry for the hijack, but I know how you feel, Rilchiam
duffer that made me laugh, I remember your BiL thread. Maybe you need a treehouse? Old Frigidaire box out back?
I feel your pain too, Rilchiam; I’m back at Orchestra w/my buddies but since I was away last year & my old stand partner left, I’m now stuck with Chatty Cathy. Nobody wants to sit with her. She talks non-stop. It’s to the point where no reply is necessary. And rehearsal is my one night a week to “get away”.
I think the real reason Americans love their cars is it’s the only privacy we get!
I think it was Stuffy that had a thread on this topic awhile back. Put me down as someone who just doesn’t understand some people’s need to make statements all day long. I have family members like this, so I deal with it constantly and still don’t see the point of constantly saying things that isn’t A. going to result in a conversation longer than 30 seconds long or B. Isn’t something that really needs to be said.
If loneliness is the reason for this behavior, then it’s not much of an annoyance, but some people need to learn that they don’t have to share every single little thing that crosses their mind with the rest of the world.
She’s lonely- why not get off the computer for a while and play some Yahtzee with her or something? She’s not trying to annoy you- she’s looking for attention.
This is usually the point in the conversation where I have to choke back the urge to say, “If I wanted to be having a conversation with you, would I be sitting here quietly trying to read a book?”
Zette, I did suggest a game of Trivial Pursuit, which she declined. Basically, she wanted to do her thing, which is channel-surf, and she said at one point that she would be making most of the same comments whether anyone was there or not. Just wanted to have a listening ear.
I did, however, do some IMDB searches for her. And pulled up the Drudge report. ("Oh, I didn’t want to read it; just, someone mentioned it and I wondered what it was.) And I found a webpage for Are You Being Served?. (“That looks interesting! Don’t know if I’ll ever have time to read it.”)
Wang-Ka, several of the times when she asked what I was looking at, I was strongly tempted to quote J.D. Salinger and reply, “This sentence I’m reading is terrific.”
