Unabashed kitty porn. Or, mah kittehs, let me show you them.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Aber (foreground) - The oldest. She was my wife’s cat before my wife was my wife. She was a gift from my wife’s former boyfriend, and her name is Welsh for “mouth”. She hates me, somehow reasoning that, even after several years, I’m an intolerable interloper in her weird, dysfunctional worship of my wife.

Quotable quote: “I luff you. I haaaaaate you.”

Porkchop - My cat. She was with me before marriage, and my wife swears she has a creepy little shrine to me somewhere in the house with, like, lots of photos and candles. She MUST be in my lap, if I’m sitting down. She’ll follow me around, and anticipate my butt hitting the couch. She’ll try to nudge my laptop out of my hands. And she HATES being turned over on her back. She’ll - barely - tolerate it if I do it. I’ve seen her knock a friend’s glasses off his head for daring to do the same thing.

Quotable quote: “Check out my asshole! Awesome, huh?” (Cat owners will understand.)

Euronymous - The Fraidy Cat. Ah, my poor little Euronymous. I rescued her from a bunch of Goth transvestites (yes, really) who were tormenting her, and she’s never been the same. She’s perpetually terrified of everything. One time, I startled her so badly that she pooped herself, then ran off. No, I’m not making that up. What did I do that scared her? I let the screen door shut too forcefully. And yeah, she’s named after that Euronymous.

Quotable quote: “Don’t kill me!”

Clovis. My little sweetheart. She’s utterly inoffensive, and is just happy to be alive and safe and warm. I found her out in the woods, and she was so near death that she suffered brain damage. She’s dumb as a brick, but absolutely the sweetest kitty on earth. She’s almost like a puppy. I hold the covers up every night so she can burrow in and sleep next to me, rumbling my ribcage for hours at a time with her seismic purr. I actually found her on a spot that would later be dug for archaeological purposes, and under which was found a Clovis point.

Quotable quote: “Hey, whatcha doin’? Can you pet me, please? I love you!”

Side conversation: If I could only find a commercial use for litter-encrusted cat shit, I’d be a rich man. :mad:

2

Sure do. :slight_smile: I have always called it the raisin presentation. A little black crumpled up thingie. Like a cat drill sergeant will walk up and down the ranks of cats, and shout: A-tention! Present… RAISIN!
(Actually, in Dutch is sounds funnier: “Presenteer…Krent!”.

I also have a Sweet Stupid Cat and a Fraidy Cat. My third cat is Robber Girl; always on the lookout for unattended morsels of food she can snatch away.

3

Aw, that’s cute! :slight_smile:

4

Okay, look, if you’re going to make vague references to felines and porn and photos, there’s better bigawd be photographs of adult human female genetalia!

Oh, wait, sorry … wrong boards. Never mind.

5

Aw, poor Euronymous. That’s heartbreaking - she looks so sweet. She’s fortunate to have you to love and care for her now, though! Give her a hug for me! But, you know, not a fast or sudden hug. Wouldn’t want any accidents.

I dunno though, honestly I just have such a hard time comprehending the kind of person who could mistreat a cat. Or any living thing, really, but especially kitty cats. :frowning:

Oh, and Clovis looks adorable, too, and good on you for rescuing her. You are a cat hero and I salute you! :slight_smile:

6

What lovely cats.

7

The house of Ogre is strong in catness. Beautiful kittehz.

8

But, but… I must squeeze Euronymous. I must! [goes off to find poop-repellent clothing]

9

I can petz kitties now plz?

kthx

10

She does look so squeezable, doesn’t she? But so nervous at the same time! She looks like a kitty full of conflicting emotions. All the more reason she needs hugs, of course! :smiley:

11

Ha! Yeah, Euronymous has the most expressive face of all our cats. She’s extremely sweet if you catch her in the right place. If you can gently walk up to her when she’s on the bed or the back of the couch, she might not run, and she loves to have the base of her tail scratched. She really hates for people to loom over her. She’ll get that pitiful look of mortal terror on her face and disappear under the bed for a day or two.

Her nose is also a great indicator of her mood. If she’s scared, it will turn white. If she’s happy (or TERRIFIED), it turns rosy pink. She’s so cute. :slight_smile:

12

I totally get this one - my mistri…er, cat, Gracie* likes to sit on my shoulder and eventually lie down on it, but before she does there is period where she stands on my shoulder with her tail whipping against my head and her butt totally in my face. Oy.

*my wife is convinced something is going on because Gracie follows me around the way Porkchop does with you

ETA: oh, how do your cats feel about your guitar playing? My current two are the first ones who will stay in the same room when I am playing acoustic, but they skedaddle when they see an electric!

13

You think that’s cute? Wait till you get a load of Hank. And his little boot.

(His leg is fine now, btw. He got caught in a fan belt as a baby and had some nerve damage in that wrist when we got him, so he needed the boot to make him place his foot properly.)

Eponine remains unimpressed with any alleged cuteness. She feels we should have shoved the little interloper back into the car engine.

14

Great kitties all, Ogre.

My heart’s goin’ on to poor Clovis, glad you saved her. I have an undercover lover kitty, too, out of my three. It’s great to have a nice purring critter curled up right next to you.

Euronymous, is she still a kitten? One of my cats was dumped here with a slit throat, and really shy and skittish at first, but, now, not shy at all, but kinda “apart” more than the others. Hope Miss E. can blossom as well.

15

Dear Og, you should warn a person to beware of the teensy jellybean toes when you post a link like that.

16

Two words: Dog food.

Around here I refer to it as the the “circle of life”

17

I semi-remember when you rescued Euronymous, but refresh my memory: where were the Goth kids? And was she a kitten or grown? And were you able to put the scare of Og into them? (I still maintain that when I become Premiere Benevolent Oligarch cats will be resettled west of the Mississippi in retaliation for my right eye, but I wouldn’t tolerate abusing one- the bastards.)

My dog Ollie ((http://www.einsteinstongue.com/dermott_clip_image002.jpg)) is basically a barking cat. He loves to curl up into a ball in your lap, does the “Lift it up so I can burrow” thing every single night (sometimes two or three times if he decides to go get some water or pester Mardi [the other dog] for no reason) and he’s as limber and balanced and almost as bouncy as a cat. He also had a Dickensian babyhood before I rescued him but he takes the opposite path from Euro: “ooh ooh oooh oooh rabid out of control Pit Bull 12 times my size, I can take him eaaassssy…”.

18

Ogre’s Rescuing Euronymous Thread.

19

I see you found my old thread on Euronymous, but yeah, I’m fairly sure I scared the bejeezus out of them. It’s funny. You know me. I’m not a particularly aggressive or violent person, but seeing her all scrunched up against the curb, with the three of them poking and laughing at her, flipped a switch. I was suddenly Kitty Protector, and by God, if they were going to hurt her, they were going to have to come through me.

Surreal night. A few minutes later, we ran into a very rich older lady in a fur stole who fawned and cried (yes, cried) over the kitten for several minutes, until I forcibly removed Euronymous, cause, dammit, that lady was creeping me the hell out.

20

Artist rendering.