Has anyone else been holding their tongue until now? Is this the general consensus in regards to my question? I noticed it’s gotten kind of quiet in here.
You’ve gotten several viewpoints here, but you’re not going to get some magical answer to how to make your wife more interested in you.
I’d suggest you talk to her. Maybe she feels like you’re suffocating her. If that’s the case, I can see why she’d be hesitant to undress in front of you. Obviously, there is a big problem between the two of you. The answers aren’t going to magically appear on a messageboard.
I would have to agree with what Indygrrl said earlier about preserving the feminine “mystique”. I am also rather comfortable being naked…but with my husband naked = sex. So I often go into the bathroom or closet to get changed because I don’t always want to be jumped when I’m not in that particular mode. I think it’s kinder to my husband really…why get him all riled up? 
**Thinktank ** , I think you and your wife could benefit from a relaxed, nonjudgmental, one on one discussion about his issue. Either that or therapy…good luck!
Oops, that would be “this” issue. :smack:
Could this have anything to do with your wife losing some interest in sex?
Even subconsciously?
My wife almost never undresses in front of me. It has nothing to do with not wanting sex. It has nothing to do with me grabbing her unwantedly, or anything like that. It certainly has nothing to do with my weight, unless it is the lack thereof. (I’ve always been too skinny.) It is not because naked=sex. I tend to see her naked only if I am home when she showers, or after sex.
It might have something to do with me ogling her, the few chances I get. But I doubt it. I believe it is because she is self-conscious about her stretch marks from the five kids (includes twins). She knows I think she’s beautiful, but she doesn’t think she’s beautiful.
The lack of sex in your marriage is most likely another issue entirely. Why don’t you ask her, or a counselor, instead of us?
ok the hamsters ate my most recent post. I only cup unless a signal is given. I am a gentlemen to a fault, too much so according to some …sigh. thanks for the advice though. 
(Bolding mine)
What I got from this rambling stream-of-consciousness explanation is that she has told you what she wants from you. You’re just more concerned with her meeting* your* ideal of self-actualization than with what you can do to meet her needs.
You seem to have a rather condescending attitude toward her priorities her attitudes, her education, and her “potential.” You aren’t her father, and she’s a big girl anyway. Don’t be so selfish.
Aww…you can let your wife know that there are women out there who have stretch marks who haven’t even had kids yet! Heck, I have tons all around, but I know that my SO loves me for my spunk and personality, and that a few quirks here and there make me who I am. Gee I can’t even imagine what my body’s going to look like when we do have kids :eek:
As long as you’re ok with your body, know that there is someone else out there who loves it too…and I’m sure you let your wife know that. My SO gives me a dirty look every time I try to cover up! Then he mumbles something about cheating him of an entitled show. Isn’t love grand?
Each and every person is telling you that because it’s true: it has to be her choice. You may be the only one hearing crickets.
Here’s the thing. You can’t “get it” to be her choice, because it actually is her choice. She decides. You don’t “make her” decide to see it your way.
It sounds as though sex is not a priority for her right now, because she is focused on other things, things that will provide more stability. She’s trying to get her second master’s degree and save money so she can buy furniture and a house and eventually have a child. That sounds pretty “self-actualized” to me.
And if she’s said that you “don’t talk to her enough,” perhaps you could talk to her more, and actually listen to and accept the things that are important to her right now instead of trying to change them so that they more immediately meet your needs?