Mr. Change! Has the mutant ability to pull exact change out of his pockets! In times of stress, he has also been known to pull his car keys out, holding them by the exact key he needed!
I, myself, have these powers. Be thou amazed.
This looks like a job for…
The strange superhero role playing game.
Personally, I like…
MrVisible! Most photons just bounce right off him!
Ethilrist, Mr. Change doesn’t by any chance work at First Citiwide, does he? 
Tee hee.
How about borrowing some from MST3K? My favorites:
Really Deep Man: He’s really deep, man.
The Black Nun: All black! None of the white bits!
This must be the work of the nefarious Darth Carey, who possesses the ability to make people feel they are trapped in the longest episode of Who’s Line Is It Anyway?
Re- League Of Hoboken
My copy runs fine (Win 95, Pentium 133). Are You sure your copy isn’t damaged? I recommend visiting an abandonware site and downloading another copy. Since you legitmately bought a copy, it is legal for you download the software for personal use.
[Total Hijack]
Doc and slortar (you old bugger, you):
Currently it’s a Celeron 400, running Win98; like I said, though, I’ve been lazy, and could probably get it to boot to a proper environment with a little effort. This is the original release of the game; I mention that, because I know there are a couple games (X-Wing, and the older X-Com games, ferinstance) that’ve been re-released to perform in a Win32 environment, and my copy of SLOH just plain won’t, near as I can tell. Was there such an animal with this game?
With the older system, a P60, running Win95, I could boot to a DOS prompt, and run most DOS-based games just fine, but doing that now still leaves me scratching for a few bytes of conventional memory here and there. Might need to tweak my startup files, as I had to reformat/restore a couple months back (So much for progress, I guess.) It hadn’t occured to me that it could be a physical problem; guess I’ll hit the underdogs and see what happens. Thanks.
[/Total Hijack]
Capt. Cracker-Crumb
I can render any bed instantly uncomfortable.