Urbanredneck is a homophobic bigot

Of course that’s making a choice. Thing is, people who are singularly heterosexual, when offered the chance to experiment, say no thanks, because the idea of homosexual relations is not appealing.

If you try out a new restaurant, it’s because there’s something about the food you find appealing. Even if you don’t wind up liking it, there was that thought “I might like this.” underlying the whole experience.

We don’t generally make a conscious choice to define the things we want, or the things we find appealing. If you actually had to choose, had to say “I am NOT going to want to drive race cars.” one could say that you actually DO want to drive race cars, but an outside factor is causing you to decide that you should not want it. Because, really, people who don’t want to drive race cars, don’t think much about driving race cars to begin with, so there’s no reason for them to consciously choose that they don’t want to do it.

And me, don’t forget me. :o I started a thread about something which I knew other parents would have infomation, experience, opinions about. This IS an intelligent, thoughtful, and helpful group over all.

Out of the blue came personal attacks directed at my sexuality and the make-up of my family. I can accept someone suggesting that the 2-mama dynamic could have something to do with it, but that’s not the tone or intent of what was actually posted by Urban Redneck, Shodan, maybe a few others. I tried to draw a line there, politely, but it kept on.

Then I asked to have the thread closed. It had fulfilled my purpose and I didn’t want the negative parts to blow up and take over the thread, derailing the good parts. The mods explained to me–and I agree–that since the majority of the thread was filled with people endeavoring to respond to the OP and offer help and advice, that it would stay open. I see the value in that. The extraneous factors and avenues this thread has taken are bizarre indeed. I said that this is an intelligent, thoughtful group as a whole–it is, but with a few real bigots and assholes.

Yes, and some of the people posting are not even assholes - they just want to rush to make their point. It’s par for the course around here.

I wish UrbanShitStain would come post.

That’s the problem with this pitting. There’s nothing really to say. Urbanredneck is an unapologetic homophobe and is not afraid to say it. And he says it every chance he can. And it’s not even really worth arguing with him about it because to those who are not homophobes, there’s nothing rational about his way of thinking. So he just plops his little gems in to whatever threads happen to mention anything about gay people, and I suspect most of us just think “Wow what a closed-minded asshole!” and move along.

I’m sure people have considered pitting him before but have found it difficult. So the only thing I could think of was to let the man speak for himself.

But yeah…now what? At least, I guess, we’ve exposed him for what he is and more people will know that hadn’t noticed before.

Honestly, I don’t even think that. I really don’t see him as malicious. Just caught up in his notions. It’s a pernicious and casual bigotry, yes, and I absolutely think it needs to be called out. But I don’t get the impression that he’s a hate-fueled homophobe. Just a passive, ignernt one.
Also, fuck 4chan.
Also also Ethilrist, seriously?

Seriously. I feel like I’ve made a choice, and I believe there are millions of people out there who experimented in their teen and college years who feel like they made a choice, too. I understand there are many more people who feel there was no choice, but the fact that they’re in the majority doesn’t mean they have a monopoly on the situation.

Perhaps you are bisexual then?

I was thinking about this. I did have the chance to experiment with girls, in college. Indeed, I made a choice not to.

But the reason I made the choice was that I wasn’t really attracted to girlsin the first place. I made a choice not to act, but there was no choice in how I felt.

I think my sexuality was more mutable in college and more flexible, but that doesn’t change the fact that I was, and am, predominantly attracted to men. And it wasn’t really mutable because that changed, it was mutable because you have the attitude of “It’s college, who cares?”

I have never really been attracted to girls, and there isn’t a choice in the matter of my predominant heterosexuality. I feel it strongly, all the time - I never look at a girl and think “I’d hit that”, for example. Ever.

I find it interesting that people think you can’t make a choice about something until you try it, and then, once you’ve tried it, if you say “I choose not to do that again,” they say “well, it wasn’t really a choice anyway…”

I never made a choice – intimacy with another man always seemed personally repellant to me. I’ve assumed that that’s how it is with most people – most gay people, even as adolescents, would find the idea of physical intimacy with the opposite sex personally repellant, and most straight people would find the idea of physical intimacy with their own sex personally repellant. I’ve always assumed that people who don’t feel this way were bisexual to some degree.

I think you are still not getting what we are saying.

I can make a choice about whether to sleep with girls.

I cannot make the choice about whether I am attracted to girls.

That is about as simple as I can make it.

That’s not what I am getting from the discussions. You mentioned haggis. I have never had haggis, because it does not appeal to me. I don’t want to have haggis. I am not choosing to find it unappealing to me; it just is. I am making a choice not to try it. I could make a choice to overcome my initial reaction to it, and that is a choice, either way. But the way I feel about it-- that’s not a conscious choice. That’s just how I feel about it.

ETA: What iiandyiii and Anaamika said.

I have to ask…so what? If you find his stuff offensive, put him on ignore and move on. Otherwise, laugh at it, skip it, whatever.

You could still have haggis one day, and find you love it! And you might not be happy you love it, but you wouldn’t be able to help the fact that you find it tasty. You might then choose to never eat it again, but it doesn’t change the fact that your taste buds loved it!

OI ! You can that shit, you fucking haggot !

I choose not to push red hot needles through my eyeballs. That choice is informed by the knowledge that I am fairly certain I wouldn’t enjoy it.

I admit I have never been called a haggot before. :confused:

It is a portmanteau neologism, from the homophobic slur “faggot” and the vile concoction “haggis”. I chose to coin it in the pursuit of base wit.

Seriously, not even a smirk out of you ? Dayumn, gurl.

I’m allowed to hunt you down and kill you if you do this again. Seriously. It’s in the user agreement.

Well, I thought about laughing, but then I was like…whaaaat? So I chose confusion. :wink: