using props to meet people

In My Humble Opinion
1

What do think of using props as a means for meeting people? (Especially if you’re the person being approached.)
For example:

Let’s say I take a frisbee along to the park, even though I’m by myself. I see a cute woman I would like to meet, so I say hi and invite her to toss the frisbee around with me.

Would “props” be a good way to meet someone or not? I suppose it’s somewhat cliche, but if it works… what the hay? Would it be awkward for the the approached person? I know it’s pretty much an individual preference thing, and hard to generalize, but give it a shot if you can. I’m not talking about far out stuff like ventriliquist dummies or anything. Just little innocent stuff, according to the environment. A frisbee in the park, a deck of cards in a bar, a sketchbook in a cafe, etc etc.

I do take my dog for walks in the park alot, and she often gets the attention of a woman or two, but I’m not talking about “live” props, even though it works.

2

As soon as you said “props,” I thought of prop comics like Carrot Top and Gallagher. Definitely not a good idea to throw a watermelon at some cute chick. :slight_smile:

Overall, it seems like a good idea. If some guy walked up to me and laid a line on me at the park, I’d probably blow him off. If he offered to throw the frisbee around, I’d probably play if I felt like playing, whether he seemed “attractive” to me at first or not. If I had fun playing frisbee, then I might agree to have coffee with him or something.

Definitely worth a try.

3

Ok, I’ll tell you my secret-

I meet men by getting all dressed up, trying to look as sexy as possible, then I go to a coffee shop with my beloved chessboard.

I order a yerba matte or apple cider and sit there with the chessboard all set up, waiting for someone to come along and challenge me to a game.

The first time I tried it I felt silly sitting there all by myself with a chessboard looking expectant, but within ten minutes a guy came over and asked me for a game.

I have gone back several times to play chess with strangers, and this ploy has not yet failed once.

Except a few sour guys are resentful of me because I never let them win.

Chess kicks ASS!

4

A lone guy with a frisbee in the park is like a lone guy with a puppy at a playground: creepy.

The cards at a bar, if it’s a mellow place sounds like it could be a little less creepy, but it is a little transparent. And the sketchbook idea would make most girls (hell, people) self-conscious. Not the way you want to make prospective date feel. The best prop for meeting people is a good friend. Just go out and have a good time together, people enjoying themselves are attractive to other people, and it isn’t as creepy when approached–“hey, you wanna play a round of pool? Gin rummy/bullshit/Go fish?” If you don’t have a friend, go out with your favourite book, or at least one you can have a conversation about…a book is good bait, and you’re not bored while you’re warming the bench in prep for striking out.

:wink:

5

Hey Turpentine, do you live in Sacramento?
I worked at a cafe and remember this guy getting all pissy at the woman he was playing with, he kept saying “I’ve never played with no female before,” with that emphasis on female like maybe he was letting her win, and maybe like you might say, “I ain’t never seen no chess playin’ dog before.” I felt like dumping a pitcher of burnt milk on him.
Go Turpentine! Fight ignorance and sexist preconceptions! :cool:

6

You might want to be wary about that one if you’re inexperienced, lest you accidentally get yourself into trouble… you might think the girl sitting across from you has the cutest nose ever, but she make think it’s hideous and that you’ve made her look like a troll.

7

Well, like he wanted her to think he was letting her win. And the cafe was in Sacramento, which was why I asked.

8

About the sketching: I wouldn’t be drawing the people in the place I am at. I’d be drawing something or someone else entirely either from imagination, memory, or photos.

From my experience, people reading books generally prefer not to be interrupted. I hang out in Barnes & Noble a lot and there’s always cute women in there studying or browsing. I would never bother the ones studying because you can obviously tell they want to be left alone. I personally wouldn’t mind, being interrupted, but it never happens.

I would like to point out one thing I failed to clarify.

The props would be mainly for getting other people to approach me, as opposed me approaching them. The frisbee bit really wasn’t the best example. OTOH, I think the sketchbook is a good idea. Stranger: “Hey what you drawing there? Mind if I have a peek?”

as for the deck of cards: e.g. playing solitaire when things aren’t too busy. Stranger: “What you doing over here playing cards all by yourself?”

See where I am going with this?

I have tried some things before. I used to do crosswords at the bar for awhile, but no one ever said anything. Maybe they thought I was weird or just didn’t want to bother me.

The only time a prop ever worked for me was once I was playing a pocket size electronic card game in the bar and 2 girls asked me what I was doing and they invited me to sit with them. I blew that one though by being too shy and not opening up.

I guess I’ll just keep walking the dog in the park, for now :rolleyes: FTR: This is “the” place to walk your dog. Lots of doggie walkers there.

9

The best prop for attracting women is a baby.

I started to write this about to tell you that this prop idea was not likely to work. Then I remembered that I spent a whole fourth of July with a guy who “accidentally” threw a frisbee at me. Of course I was 14 then.

Seriously though, if you’re interested in meeting women why don’t you answer some personals ads? That way you know the women you’re approaching are interested in meeting someone.

10

Yeah, I second the personal ad idea.

I’ve had lots of fun meeting people that way, even though none have turned out to be lasting relationships.
However-

I met my current crush through a personal ad. Oh my god…he is so hot. He wears glasses and dresses like a nerd. That’s a plus, but the real attraction is that he kicks serious booty at chess.

I mean, I beat most people I play at chess, but this man was relentless- his fingers glided effortlessly over the chess pieces, his army surrounding and engulfing me, rendering me powerless.

I was incredibly turned on. I want to challenge him to a rematch, but I’m shy.

Tortuga- No, I’m not in Sacramento, but I’m happy for that woman, beating that stupid asshole.

Part of the reason I try to look as pretty as possible when I’m playing chess is to disspell the blond+pretty= stupid myth.

Fighting ignorance one move at a time…usually starting with PQ-4.

11

Damn, talk about confusing…

What the hell happened? It wasn’t too terribly long ago that people here on the SDMB were quite unfavorable of singles ads, now they’re recommending them? :confused:

And while were at it…

What’s up with everyone thinking “creepy” these days? Since when did talking to people in public places become taboo?

12

Now THERE’S a sig line if I ever saw one.

13

I say it does depend upon the prop. I mean, obvously someone cuddling a severed human head on a park bench is not likely to make friends…

…but I’m not even talking in the extreme, here.

IMO, carting a frisbee (for an example of a prop that would require Stranger Participation) around in the park would make you look sort of desperate, in a “Please be my friend” sort of way.

And even though you yourself are not creepy, keep in mind that Participation Props are the standard MO of child molesters…

I say as long as you don’t own the dog exclusively as a prop, what’s wrong with taking advantage of him/her? As a dog-lover, I can tell you that I’d be much more likely to approach you in a park if you were there with your pooch, because:

a) I’d see immediately that we have something in common (unless you’ve only brought your dog’s severed head to the park with you)

b) I’d view you, as a fellow “dog person”, to be more amenable to a friendly chat than, say, a person sitting alone with a crossword. Crosswords don’t say, “Join me!”, they generally say, “I’m having a great time by myself, thanks.” Unless, of course, you look up just as that hot tamale in the yoga pants is power-walking by, and say, “Hey–what’s an eight-letter word for ‘unmarried woman’?”

c) If conversation got awkward and/or shy (but we were both still clearly interested in continuing to get to know each other), we could just take a tip from our dogs and begin sniffing each other’s butts. :smiley:

I think the dog could work for you, man.

14

I enjoy walking my dog just because it’s enjoyable and relaxing and yes, if I’m lucky, I might meet someone.

Well, the dog has worked for me…Quite a number of times. The thing is, when a woman does stop to pet and chat, I usually get so stunned by the spontanaeity, that I lock up in shyness and blow the whole thing.

Her: “Oh what a pretty dog! Can I pet it?”
Me: “Sure”
Her: “What’s it’s name?”
Me: “Cyndi”
Her: “Hi Cyndi” pet pet pet “Well thanks for letting me pet your dog”
Me: “Sure, bye”

:rolleyes:

See what I mean? I have even had several occasions where the woman was obviously flirting with me and I still blew it, even though she had the door of invitation wide open for me. :rolleyes: I am an idiot! I don’t know how to “carpe deim.”

The last time this happened, I about wanted to beat the crap out of myself. The girl was sooooooo hot. She called to me from a good distance away, asking me to wait so she could see my dog, and she was flirting with me, big time. I will never forget what she said to me. With bedroom eyes, a come hither smile, and an endearing tone of voice she said, “The timid dogs always have the timid owners”

I was so embarrassed and shocked I didn’t even ask her name or anything. MSK is an Idiot! with a capital “I.” :::whips out a large trout, slaps self in face:::

I never saw her again. :frowning:

Spontanaeity and I don’t mix. Hopefully I’ve learned my lesson.

15

Ever played Sicilian Defense as white? :smiley: But I have graduated to Go these days, it’s the essence of strategy.

16

Then I don’t think that walking around the park with a frisbee is going to solve your problem, my friend. If you are shy, you are shy even if you have a prop to help you out.

You can probably guess what most women are going to say to you and to your dog when they approach you. Could you come up with a kind of “script” to help you out and to take away the air of spontanaeity which seems to have you a bit tongue-tied?

17

I have to agree with trishdish here. When you go somewhere hoping to meet a girl, be prepared with some things to say, some conversation topics and such. It will make it much easier for you.

And also, I see nothing creepy about props. Not even the frisbee, although I would think that bringing something that doesn’t necessarily require two-person participation might be more fun while you’re waiting for someone to take interest. For example, bring a football which is good for playing with another person but if alone, you can throw it up in the air and catch yourself. Or a baseball and glove (and maybe keep a spare glove in the car or whatever).

But mostly, be prepared to talk when you do meet someone. That is key! Go to the library and get a book about how to make small talk–that might help.

18

The dog is the best “prop” you can choose. Nothing is less attractive than desperation, carrying around a frisbee all by yourself implies desperation. You are looking for someone to hang out with, you’re “needy”. Not good.

When you’re with the dog, you don’t need anybody else, you’re with your dog! If nobody approaches you, you’re still happy, total lack of desperation. It also shows that you’re a caring and dependable person, which is good.

If you’re already having trouble with the small talk, the prop won’t help. Talk about your dog, ask her about her pets. Everybody loves to talk about their pets, they even love to talk about pets that are long gone.

My last piece of advice (as though I’m someone to give advice) don’t go out looking for someone, too much pressure. Go out to have a nice time, if you meet someone while you’re at it, that’s cool.

19

MSK, actually bookstores like Barnes & Noble are great places for meeting people! And don’t let girls who are “studying” intimidate you. 9 times out of 10, they are there to meet people too. I mean, come on–if they really wanted to focus on their material with no interuptions, they wouldn’t come to a crowded bookstore cafe! They would study at home, or in a library! So, I say–give it a try! You’ll have an easy way to start the conversation–just glance at the textbook, and then make a comment on the subject.

As for bars & such, it is much easier to meet people if you go to the bar with a friend. For some reason, that takes a lot of the pressure off. I’m a lot like you–it’s very hard for me to initiate conversations with girls I’m attracted to. But I started to go out with my cousins & they are very bold. They will walk up to any girl and start flirting. I learned a lot just from watching them. The biggest key is: Make them laugh! You seem like a pretty witty guy, so just try to use a lot of humor. If you can get her to laugh–you’re home!

20

Do some volunteer work, like joining the junior chamber of commerce (depending on your age), & helping with activities like Special Olympics. You’ll meet a lot of people just by doing something good. FWIW