A great prop in a park… a kite.
In these days of lesser kite flying (at least it seems like it), flying a kite attracts a lot of people. And if a cute girl comes over, offer to let her fly it a few minutes…
Yay! I’m so glad to hear that you are going out! And if you somehow get the urge to do karaoke, might I suggest “Everybody’s Working For The Weekend”. Nothing like a little Loverboy to woo the crowd.
Go get 'em, tiger. Rrrrrowwwwrrrr!
And don’t feel the need to apologize. You were open, you were honest and you are actively looking for suggestion and advice. You are trying! And that’s half the battle. Seriously, you sound like a nice, sweet, great person (which would make you a fantastic catch in anyone’s book). I guess it’s just hard to me to relate to being shy since I’m SUCH an extrovert, chatty Cathy and generally, people probably wish I would just shut up already. So, I’ve never really had a problem with chatting people up. But whatever you do, just be yourself, be happy and have a good time. People naturally gravitate to people who seem happy and social.
You’ll be beating women off with a stick in no time.
You called?
Seriously, auntie em is a freak. You pegged her right. But, psssst, I’ve known her forever.
MSK
Here’s a few conversation tips that I think will help you. I use these when there’s that weird pause and neither of you is sure what to say:
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Play “Deserted Island”. It goes like this. “So you’re stranded on an island and you can only have 5 CD’s. Which ones and Why?” You can replace CD’s with movie’s or what have you.
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2 Truths and a Lie. Tell them you are going to make up two truths and one lie and they have to try to guess the lie. Pick interesting stuff that you’ve done that most have not.
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Avoid as props any of the following: Bottle of booze inside the paper bag, duct tape, any length of rope or Richard Simmons shorts. Those tend to be turn-offs.
Good luck man. I hope this helps. Let me know if you need more ideas!
Bolding mine, of course.
Would you mind elaborating on the ‘usually’ just a bit, please? Not to hijack MSK’s thread, but one of my personal problems (fears, phobias, nightmares, etc) about approaching readers in a B&N or similar is that I’ll interrupt her at The Wrong Time™.
Now I’m not exactly a troll in appearance, and, despite my fears, don’t think I come off as particularly creepy (I can, in fact, be witty for minutes at a time) but I can’t tell whether my interruption will be one of the minded ones or the non-minded ones.
So what’s the diff? Is it the approach, the person, or the timing?
Two possibilities:
[ul]
[li]I really do need to study. In which case I say, “I’m sorry - I really can’t talk right now because I have to study for this exam.”[/li][li]The guy is really creepy. In which case I say, “I’m sorry - I really can’t talk right now because I have to study for this exam.”[/li][/ul]When I say creepy, I mean creepy. I’m a weirdo magnet. I’ll talk to just about anyone for at least a little while. Unfortunately, nothing short of “Fuck off or I’ll call the police” will make those guys budge.
Hey, Wisest, if you plan on passing through, let me know, and maybe we can hit the clubs and score some hotties. Nothing as helpful as a wingman when you’re out clubbin.
Well, I did it. I went out tonight. I had a good time. I didn’t talk to anyone, but I did pull a fast one on my fav’ bartender, Annie. I have been wanting to do this for some time and I finally did it tonight.
They always give the check in one of those little folio things, so I stuck this giant faux ten dollar bill inside, and wrote on it, “Just kidding!” with a smilie face and my first name under it. When I was done ordering for the evening, I handed Annie the folio so she’d ring me up. She went to the register and started plunking away at it, with this giant ten dollar bill in her hand. She almost turned to hand me the change and then she caught it.
She had a big smile on her face handed back the giant ten and said, “You almost got away with that one!” and giggled, and then I handed her a real ten dollar bill. We got a nice chuckle out of it. Plus, I know she didn’t know my name before, as I hadn’t introduced myself (too shy) but now I hope she’ll remember my name. I made her laugh. 
I have been going to same bar for years and she always knows what I order. The moment I sat down, I had coffee in front of me before I even said hi. She’s the best bartender I’ve ever seen. and just a darn cool person overall. Oh yeah, did I mention she’s a hottie too.
I’m learning the hard way that:
[ul]
[li]Confidence comes from doing.[/li][li]Anxiety comes from trying.[/li][li]Doing and possibly failing is okay, because only then have you truly tried.[/li][li]Spontaneity holds few regrets.[/li][li]Expectations generally lead to disappointment.[/ul][/li]
hypothetical example: “I didn’t come to this interview expecting to get hired. I came to this interview knowing I will do the best work that I can offer.”
Did I just say that? No that couldn’t have been me. :eek:
Ok, this assertiveness is scaring me. :eek:
There has been some great advice given, so I thought I would toss in my share.
I used to be really shy too. Then I read somewhere that if you could try to imagine yourself as charming as Cary Grant while you were chatting up women, then you would be more confident. So armed with this new found knowledge, I headed to a mall in a city far from my stomping grounds. I sat in the food court, and every time a cute girl would walk by, I would go up and talk to her. Yeah, it was rough at first, but after a while I became pretty quick with conversation. After four hours of this, I was ready to go out in the real world.
Even now, when I’m starting lose my confidence, I go to a mall, hit on a bunch of girls, get a few numbers (Usually about 4-5 out of 10) then go back and try it at home.
Happy hunting!
It’s the only true benefit of cigaratte smoking I’ve ever heard of…
Hey, don’t discount personal ads…I met my husband that way! 10 years married this May!
By the way–my idea of “creepy” is “won’t take no for an answer.” If someone says “well, bye”, let them go. If you can keep 'em talking…or better yet, laughing…you’re in.
Agreed. I’ll see how on-schedule I can be by this weekend. Always up for a [symbol]m[/symbol]Dope. But you have to let me see the legendary key!
Come to think of it, talk about great props…
Good news for you, Wisest Novel! Trishdish and I have been best friends since we were 11 years old. Ya might could get a package deal.
We do a great rendition of Ebony and Ivory…
Oh, and BTW… I am a GIANT freak-magnet. :rolleyes:
Damn, you are one handsome Key!
Regarding the wingmen, perhaps you should take the advice of some other guys .
OK,that was cute, and even kinda funny, but I hope no one takes it too seriously. For one thing, the guy seems to think that hot=attractive. Maybe that’s his bag, but c’mon! Sure, I include a woman’s appearance in my attraction level, but who really wants to spend an afternoon–or even the night–with a vacuous Barbie doll?
And since this is already halfway to being a flirt thread, I’ll add that although I’ve never met trishdish or auntie em, I’d guaran-damn-tee that they’d be a hoot to hang out with (though maybe a little dangerous if they’re together). All you lucky dudes[sup]1[/sup] out in wherever-they-are, take notice.
And MSK, anybody can say they’ve seen the key, but how many people can say they’ve touched it? OK, that’s enough talk about the key. Otherwise, I might start channeling Tolkien, and nobody wants that.
If you’re still serious about a [symbol]m[/symbol]Dope, drop me an email. My daughter’s still gonna be visiting her mom this weekend, so it looks like I’ll be making the 80/90 crossing Saturday afternoon, with time to kill.
[sup]1[/sup]Yes, I’m aware that this is an assumption on my part.
Your email is not listed in your profile! :eek:
How about you email me? magical_silver_key@yahoo.com
Right you are! 'Course, you’re not likely to get a word in edgewise, if we’re together.
Thanks for the compliment, though, and I’ll pass your message along to the dudes in Kansas (Trishdish will have to be responsible for the dudes in the DC area)… So far the only fellas around HERE who’ve taken notice are a VERY young and scabby redneck and a chubby, porn-addicted ex-minister, but I’m sure your message will serve as the catalyst for change…
Maybe I should start taking my dog(s) to the park more often.
I have (recently) found that the best prop for meeting people is a smile. Practice walking around with a smile on your face. You don’t have to smile at specific people, just smile in general. People will usually smile back and say hi. I felt silly at first, as if my smile were fake, so I would try to think of things that were funny. Eventually I got the hang of it and smile almost as a reflex now. Another benefit - I find it harder to stay in a bad mood with a smile pasted on my face.
auntie em -
Hi again
minor hijack to my own thread, but
Have you ever considered that the reason you are “freak magnet” is because you think you’re a freak magnet?
It’s not that much of hijack, really. I am learning, too easily, that I am shy only because I think I am shy.
Maybe you’ve just had some bad luck, but you did say you come from an “alarmist” background. Being a self-saboteur, myself, I sense a strong implication of the same in you. I hope, for your sake, that I am incorrect. (Just trying to help. I beg your pardon if I’m intruding.)
end hijack.
While I fully admit to being a self-saboteur in some situations, (including some romantic ones), I have to say that this freak-magnet thing is much bigger than me.
One of my (non-freak) exes (a relationship I sabotaged by saying “Thanks” when he said the “L” word :eek: ) maintains that I am a freak magnet because I am too damn nice to people that other people–including him–would ignore or avoid (too many anecdotes to share, here…). While this might be true (not that I’m too nice, but that I am, in fact cordial in situations where others might not be), I think I must give off a scent or something, because I swear that somehow these people (the “freaks” in question) know, before words are even exchanged, that I’m an approachable person in comparison to others.
One of my friends remarked to her mother that I was a freak magnet, and the mother thought she was just being mean/hyperbolic. Then the three of us (friend, Mama, and I) took a trip to the grocery store, and lo and behold here came the drunk guy who’d wet his pants, making a bee-line for auntie em. He struck up a conversation about the hoisin sauce in my cart, and by the time I made it through the checkout line I knew all about the death of this guy’s wife and children, and his subsequent attempts at suicide.
While I sympathized, my friend’s mother leaned over and whispered, “Oh my God, you were RIGHT!” in her ear.
But y’know what? I’ve kind of started to take pride in my freak magnitude. It may not be good for my romantic life, but it makes me happy (and, strangely, kind of sad) when I can tell I’ve made someone’s day just by being the kind stranger that seems to be rare in his/her life.
I feel like I should start humming some inspirational tune, here, but all I can think of right now is “Copacabana”. :rolleyes: