So I went to the local museum to see an exhibit with a really cute girl from my dojo. During the phone call when we finalized our plans, I remarked that I was going to visit The Iris Farm with my sister on the same day as our museum visit. The girl reacted with a mix of excitement and awe at the beauty of The Iris Farm. So at The Iris Farm, I put together a small boquet of Irises and brought it to the museum for the girl. When I gave them to her she said, “No. No! No!!” with a wide-eyed look of shock and disbelief, as though she had just realized that she was holding a winning lottery ticket in her hand. But then again, maybe not. It also seems a little like the flowers indicated that I may have a romantic interest in her, whereas she wants to be friends, and was reacting with shock and suprise at the realization that I was interested in her and all the headaches that would follow from that. Or maybe it was something else. Anyway, I can’t get it out of my mind. It is vexing me greatly.
<cough>
Perhaps you could ask her?
Just a thought 
Maybe it was the fact that you picked them and she thought they should be left to be admired. Some people feel strongly about that.
Or maybe it was the bee hidden in the delicate folds of the petals.
GASP! I would never commit such vandalism! They were for sale. Maybe she didn’t know that…
I was afraid of that.
I don’t like getting cut flowers because I have no idea what kind/amounts of pesticides are in them. Flowers grown overseas are not subject to any regs re: pesticides, so the people who pick them are poisoned and if I bring them into my house I bring the poison along with them.
The Iris Farm, tho, sounds like a place you can pick your own … do you know what chemicals they put on them?
Perhaps
Although she admires the beauty of the iris, she is in fact, quite allergic to them.
Maybe you misread how much she liked the flowers and in reality she hates them completly.
Maybe you shifted from one universe where she likes flowers to another universe where the only difference is that she does not like the flowers.
It could be she just doesn’t know how to accept a gift gracefully. Did she take them? Or throw them back at you? 
If she kept them and said thanks, I’ll bet she’s kicking herself for such a reaction.
Did you have fun at the museum? Have you talked to her since? I kind of agree with Ellen - She probably didn’t know how to gracefully accept such a very nice gift. I know that I would have been very pleased.
Yes, we did have fun. I had fun; it seemed like she did. I 'spose I should have called the following day, but I didn’t. (Women scare the heck out of me.)
I spoke to her briefly at the dojo last night and it felt really akward and uncomfortable. Ugh. She couldn’t stick around for BJJ, so there was no real opportunity to chit-chat.
So, what are your intentions in giving her flowers?
Well, I do dig her quite a little bit. Though I’m not sure to what extent my motivation for the flowers stemmed (ha!) from just doing something nice because she reacted so strongly to The Iris Farm vs. signaling romanitic intentions.
If you dig her then call her. Don’t make it harder then it needs to be.
If a guy bought me flowers and took me out and then didn’t call me later I would assume he lost interest in me.
I called her last night. She wasn’t home. She was at a movie (according to the person doing the answering). BTW, if a guy doesn’t call, you may want to put shyness in as a possible hypothesis. 
Please keep us informed, J.S.! I’m hoping something will blossom, here!
Sorry js. But, I don’t want to date a guy who is too shy to call me. Not every women is the same though. And, since you did call her you proved you weren’t too shy!
Call her again and ask her out. No guts no glory and all that crap.
I second Ellen Cherry, keep us informed.
?!
Have you dated many shy guys, or are you jumping to conclusions?
Speaking of the miserable disease known as shyness… I am such a dork. I am so terrified by women that I can’t even dream about them–so you can imagine how things are going for me. Ya’ know, nothing ever changes. No matter how many times I convince myself that I can at least pretend to have the confidence–yadda, yadda–it just never comes to fruition. I’ve even tried putting myself in positions where I’d have to at least chat up a woman and I’ve completely bricked every time. The best I can ever do is to be just friends with a woman, and while being friends with every woman in the world but one would be great, being friends with every woman in the world just plain sucks. Ugh!
Don’t give up! There are women around who prefer shy guys. And don’t worry about just being friends with a woman. Apart from one, all my relationships have started that way.
I am not jumping to any conclusions. I would not be interested in dating a guy who was too shy to call me. I would not be interested in a man who was afraid of me. I like men who are more direct. If you like me say so. If you want to go out on a date call me. I am not a mind reader. I am a women, not a shark. When I bite you won’t lose a limb so don’t be scared.
I know that I am not speaking for every women. There are plenty of women who like to date shy men. I am just not one of them.
By the way, did you ever talk to her again?
Yeah, but nothing productive has occurred. I become paralyzed when I try to move from chit-chat to things like, let’s have dinner Friday. The fact that I asked her to come to the museum is bordering on a miracle–if I were a believer, I’d say it was a miracle. I almost couldn’t pay the entry fee because my hands were shaking.