In another thread this subject came up and it was looking hijacky so here I am.
I am a woman, and I think vibrators are, in the main, a bad thing. I think they are only a good thing with women (or men, but it’s really about women) who are extremely comfortable with their sexuality and have no problems whatsoever achieving earth-shattering, mind-blowing orgasms that can reduce them to quivering wrecks by use of human touch alone, whatever the type.
I would venture to say that the women who fit the above description (I am among them) find vibrators, at best, an occasionaly flavor enhancer that in no way comes close to being as satisfying as other forms of stimulation and not even close to being satisfying for producing orgasms.
It makes me crazy when I read or hear about non-orgasmic women beig encouraged to turn to vibrators to become orgasmic. Argh! Every woman I’ve ever known who went that route was thrilled at first, then came to regret it, because it became so difficult to break themselves from it and learn to enjoy more gentle, normal stimulation.
Most the women I’ve talked to about it agree that orgasms from vibrators can be almost unpleasant, they are so unnaturally intense (in a not-good way).
And that’s my take. Ladies? (I almost put this in great Debates…)
You’ll get my vibrator when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.
I don’t know many women who use it as a primary form of sex, and not that I go around asking, but I doubt that the women who do use them apply them full-force- they are much too intense for that kind of direct stimulation. I’d wager that many women use them as I use mine- primarily as an aide during sex with someone else. Makes doggy-style oh so much better, to be frank with you. As that’s become my favorite position, I’m not ever giving mine up.
I’m glad you made this thread. I was about to make one myself before I noticed yours.
I’d disagree. I can come from other stimulation. For years, I used to come just from using my hand. It felt good, but not always earth shattering. Now I pretty much just use a vibe, unless it’s out of batteries. It feels good, all the time, in a way that regular sex doesn’t. I always that that sex would feel really great, like masturbation but turned up to eleven. Using a vibe brings me to that point.
I don’t see why other forms of stimulation are considered more natural. Some people like a gentle feeling, others prefer something more intense. For me, turning the vibe up to the highest setting all at once is too much, but if I work up to it, it feels good. I’ve had trouble coming in the context of sex (but not by myself), but with a good vibrator, that’s usually not the case. I don’t see why someone who had gotten accustomed to them couldn’t incorporate them into “regular” sex.
Oh, no. None for me, thanks. I’ll take the original equipment without the intense scary buzzing sensation directly ON the delicate parts. I would go through the ceiling. It’s an aide! Not a replacement!
When I’m really in the mood for vaginal sensation, I’ll put the tip (just the tip, now) of the vibrator inside.
To be honest, I do find it a bit harder to get off manually now, especially right after I’ve been using the vibe. I don’t really see that as a downside, though. I think that my girly bits were just designed for vibrator use.
I think the “intense” stimulation provided by a latex friend can make it more difficult for a lady to achieve pleasure in more intimate situations. If a single female gets accustomed to reaching climax with an intensive vibration, then a male is not going to be able to replicate that. Letdown for both parties.
I have “friends” They are useful, both for myself and for my-husband-and-myself.
I beg to differ. Where do I start? I was having sex (very good sex) for years before I happened upon a vibrator, which gave me a chance to learn how to come. It puts you in touch with your body. And know what to do when to do with a real person. Beyond that it opens you up (ahem) to what your partner will be doing to you… And beyond that some of us are 3000 miles from the ones we want to make us come. :<
And the provide citioral stimulation to vaginal/anal sex.
I’d find that somewhat offputting. I have used a variety of toys with my female partners and it’s been a blast. But never was it a necessary part of our sexual routine.
Call it ego if you want but if I cannot pleasure my partner sufficiently without mechanical help I’d seriously question the relationship.
I think the OP is on about a vibrator being a crutch. Like sleeping pills. It’s one thing to use them here and there but there exists a real risk of becoming dependent upon them.
Everyone is different of course and for some using a vibrator is just fine and they can still easily enjoy, and get off on, sex with their partner. Yet with a vibrator there exists a chance that the woman will find she cannot be stimulated sufficiently without it and I see that as a bad thing if it happens.
Everyone is different though. Not trying to paint with too broad a brush here. Vibrators have their place.
I like to think that I turn my woman on and that she thinks she turns me on. I have no problems with bringing toys in for variety/spice. But if it came to the point where I could NOT get it done for her on my own, that her only outlet for sexual gratification was her vibrator, then hell yes…I would question the relationship.
To me sex is a fundamental part of a healthy, committed relationship. Not the only part to be sure but an important part nonetheless. If I find every time I am having a roll with my mate she eventually reaches in the drawer for a machine to satisfy herself I’d see that as a problem. Here and there fine…not as a matter of course though.
I’ve had a relationship where pretty much the most positive thing I can say is that she orgasmed easily. Does that mean relationship is better than another, where we really love each other and I can say a thousand good things, but she has a naturally harder time orgasming?
Every woman you’ve ever known who first achieved orgasm through a vibrator now has difficulty enjoying “normal” stimulation? Really? *Every * woman?
If your vibrator is so intense that you’re experiencing “unpleasant” orgasms (a concept I’m having trouble wrapping my mind around, but I’ll take your word for it), then you’re using the wrong vibrator. They make thousands of different types. Most of them start with “bzzzzz” and go all the way to “zzzzzzzzing”. But you don’t HAVE to go to “zzzzzzzing”, it’s just an option. Don’t be in such a damned hurry.
A vibrator is a tool. Like any tool, it’s neutral. It can help to produce art in the hands of an artist, and may be dangerous in the hands of the unskilled.
And while I can’t say I really agree with the spirit of **Whack-A-Mole’s ** posts, I will say that if you can experience orgasm with a vibrator but NOT with a partner, it’s possible that you’re either with the wrong partner (not necessarily someone unskilled, just someone who doesn’t do it for you), or perhaps it’s that you have intimacy/control issues that prevent you from being that vulnerable with another human present. I certainly don’t think that’s the case universally, but in my experience, getting to orgasm is about 90% being comfortable enough to let go. If you can do that by yourself, but not with a partner, it might not be the vibrator that’s to blame.
Sex and orgasms and such are merely a piece of the puzzle but an important piece…more important than whether you both like lobster.
If the woman you love has a naturally harder time getting off that’s fine. Maybe even great (longer sex) but if she NEVER gets off with only you and requires her machine then yeah…I think that is a serious ding in the negative column (mind you it could well be you and not her).