I can’t speak for all zoos, but I know that the one here in St Louis recently had a problem when the animals in the Herpetarium refused to show themselves to the public until they got some Taco Bell. And then some leopards and a puma strolled over to where the bears are kept and started picking on them until one of the Grizzlies started to cry. And the Primate House had to be closed due to some of the obscene things the chimps were doing to the baboons…
Wow – the Herpetarium is the biggest draw of the St. Louis zoo, too. (Actually, I think “Herpetarium” would be a good nickname for St. Louis itself, but I have an unfair bias against the city.)
rare… raw… running scared… it’s all good. 
Extra rare over here! We want it still mooing and running!
(Generally I like to cook mine to well done but lately I’ve been eating it medium. I think this place is influencing me…)
Oh, non Dragon mode? Rare and bleeding. grosses out everyone I know, but I love it, blood, tendons, and all.
Hey, HEY, HEY!
Form a line will’ya?! Carnivores to the left, herbivores to the right. And if you don’t stop running aroung my ankles, there will be no whipped cream for you, Catmarie. Keep your tongue out of the ice cream, Giraffe! That goes for you too, Crunchy!
Now. What can I get you, sir?
[sup]It would really help if you stopped eating the ice cream and served it instead, FairyChatMom. OK?[/sup]
And if the lines are too long you could always shorten them both by moving a few of the carnivores to the herbivores line. he says, safe in the knowledge that no-one’s going to eat him 
I refuse to make Miss Piggy noises–you told me you were over her.
But that’s no reason for you to stop uhm experimenting…
>Insert image of clock hands revolving and indicating * lots * of time passing<
:both animals are observed emerging from Ms M’s private chambers:
Ranger: So do you guys want to tell us what you were doing in there for so long?
Ms M: Let’s just say we were both a little unsure about something but now the problem’s been licked.
:wanders off with a strange satisfied smile on her face: 
::rears head up high above cage to survey the zoo::
::notes that chaos is still ensuing nicely::
::resume napping::
I don’t need a cage or anything, just a cubicle and some depressing fluorescent lighting. And maybe some half-dead plants for decoration.
I’m a snackivore, so you can just feed me whatever’s in the vending machine near the ticket booth. I’ll just be over here in my habitat playing computer solitaire. If anyone pokes me with a stick, I’m going to my supervisor (I guess that would be Arden Ranger).
If anybody pokes you with a stick, you have my permission to poke them right back with that electrified stick in the corner of my office!
Say… are you any good at book keeping? What with the crows always complaining about something, I hardly have the time.
Sure, I’ll take a crack at it . . . as long as it doesn’t interfere with my FCMB time. (That’s the Fling Crap Message Board. Lots of other monkeys post all kinds of hilarious stuff there. I need to read it periodically throughout the day, I can’t help myself).
So you want me to fling some crap at those whiny crows?
I guess I half qualify for the zoo…
Well, not at the moment. But the next time a certain critter sneaks out and then whines cause he misses feeding time…
You just have no idea the sacrifice I’m making - quality control, you know. We don’t want to be serving inferior ice cream. But if you insist, I’ll start building cones. OK, who wants chocolate, who wants vanilla, who wants licorice ripple???
Attendance at the petting zoo seems to be way down. Anybody have any ideas as to why?
:: notes DDG’s observation ::
:: looks suspiciously up in the tree at Tyger ::
Can’d I pweade hab some ide cweam? My dongue id swollend fwom wicking Mermaid all day.
Hrrmmph… Licking Mermaid. I have never heard such nonsense. If you wanted something to lick, why didn’t you come to the Zoo Soda Fountain? I’ve got plenty of stuff for you to lick, Froggy. Now. What’s your favorite flavor? Rocky Toad?
hehehe…
Say, what’s that I see in the gutter? Oh, yeah! It’s my mind again!