Okay. My girlfriend has known this man for a few years and always knew he was interested in her but they were friends. She recently let him know she was finally interested. So when she visits him, they were watching dvd’s. He made moves and then they attempted to have sex. It fizzled out, as he told her he has trust issues. He wasn’t sexually abused but physically when younger. She was rejected by her former boyfriend and seems to take it personally, even though he told her to wait and be patient. Well, I told her if she wants him, she should wait, if she just wants sex, she should move on. She feels rejected again so I am here to get objective opinions for her. I can understand a woman having these issues, but the men I know would have sex with any willing woman.
So was the guy unable to perform or did he just not wish to perform the act?
She said they started but he lost his erection and he said its because of his trust issues. He made the moves on her.
Yep, guys can have trust issues just like women. And it can affect them in different ways, including sexually.
She has a life full of disappointing relationships ahead of her.
Why do you say that?
Psychological factors are responsible for about 10%-20% of all cases of erectile dysfunction, or ED.
It’s a very schizophrenic organ!
Because if she expects that most men will have sex with “any willing woman” that’s wildly out of touch with reality.
How old and experienced are they? It sounds like she was expecting a wham bam kind of experience (and maybe him also.) Not only women require foreplay some times.
If he has been waiting for her for ages, I can see that the first time might be overly stressful. One of the many reasons why waiting until the wedding night is a bad idea.
Yeah, no kidding. I refused to have sex* with a woman I was engaged to because I cling to the false belief that a marriage provides increased stability from a support and custody standpoint, and didn’t want to risk having a kid until I was in the best possible position to do so. (Given that we broke up before tying the knot, I figure my approach was vindicated.)
* well, traditional penetrative sex, anyway.
And there’s another thread here where a poster asked if we were ever worried about getting an unwanted erection around nubile women. Like I said there – if only life were so simple.
Sex is a very intimate act, and if he’s willing but not ready she should respect that and not take it so personally. She’s making it about her, when it’s about both of them.
He told her this happens every time with a new woman until he gets comfortable, he has issues he said. I told her if he made the moves on her, its not her, its him. Thanks for the info, I will tell her.