Questions for men with impotence

This might be the first thread I start that ventures into TMI territory. (it only took me 19 years!!)

Without going into details about why I am asking these questions, I’d like to ask for personal experiences about your personal experiences with impotence - meaning you can’t or only rarely can achieve an erection. I’m mostly asking about impotence that is due to mechanical issues where medication usually doesn’t help, but since the underlying problem may not be relevant, I’m interested in everyone’s experiences.

Casual googling seems to tell me that men who can’t achieve an erection still feel sexual desire and can orgasm with the right stimulation.

I’m hoping to find out from men who have impotence how they actually feel about sex.
Do you want to have sex?
What does desire feel like without an erection?
How frustrating is it to not have an erection?
What is your experience of sex without an erection?
This is probably TMI, but what works for you?

Is there a better term or phrasing that I should be using?

Questions for men with friends who are impotent?

The standard medical term is erectile dysfunction.

It really depends on the underlying cause.
About 5 or 6 years ago, I started to have less interest in sex. Possibly it was the fact that we had small kids, things were stale after 20+ years together, or the stress of work. Eventually I had no interest and no ability. I really had zero sexual thoughts but couldn’t care any less about it.

Eventually my wife looked at me when I got out of the shower and remarked that my previously hairy body had lost almost all of it. This led to some tests and discovering a benign pituitary tumour that played havoc with my endocrine system. 6 months later with meds to treat the tumour and replace the testosterone that my body no longer made, and I was back in the saddle.

I’m guessing a purely mechanical reason would be different.

I have what is known as a promiscuous brain and a monogamous dick. I have to get to know and feel comfortable with someone before I can function properly that way. When they came out with ED drugs I used them while dating to get me through the introduction stage. I found once the ice was broken I could usually fall right into normal activity without the drug.

Just out of curiosity, what would be an example of a mechanically-caused case of ED that was unresponsive to ED meds? ED meds can include meds more invasive that your typical Cialis/Viagra pill, FWIW.

Some are also less invasive. There are penis pumps, and even Rejoyn, “for intercourse with or without an erection.” It looks like a slingshot, and the ones I sold were almost always intended for use as gag bridal shower gifts (or so I was told :stuck_out_tongue: ).

However, I do know what you’re talking about. Before Viagra came out, I worked at a mail-order facility with a 40-ish pharmacist who had a desk job and was almost completely bald, and every time he heard the word “Caverject”, his head would turn red. People would walk by his desk just so they could say “Caverject” and watch his head turn red; it never stopped being funny. I also once dispensed a package of that, written by a urologist named Dr. Wiener. :eek:

The above link was spoilered because the website includes instructions for use, which are quite graphic.

This drug has a less grisly dosage form. I’ll spoiler this link for the same reason.

The only time I experienced this was after my back injury in 2001, for about two months.

It was extremely frustrating. On the few occasions that I could get an erection, I was incapable of achieving orgasm or ejaculation.

Since it was caused by an injury, I did not seek any assistance such as medications to try to make it happen.

Thankfully after my back had healed enough, the problem disappeared.

Fair’s fair. Do you think a sniggering anecdote about a woman being taunted and humiliated like that at work would have a place in a thread about women who experience reproductive problems? Because I think it would be tasteless and inappropriate.

Holy crap - are you bragging about workplace harassment and bullying? Because that’s what it sounds like. Yeah, you guys were a riot. That’s just appalling.

I think you need to check your autocorrect settings. It seems to be replacing “started” with “stopped”.

This is a thread to discuss erectile disfuncton with the likelihood that individuals will share personal stories. Posts about mocking people with ED, then, are insensitive at best and jerkish at worst.

Save this for another thread. This is a general instruction to everyone participating.

I get that, I have a really hard time being intimate with people I do not know very well. I tried a one night stand a couple of times, but that just was an embarrassing situation. I did wonder if viagra or some such would be of use.

I’ve had sciatica flare-ups that left that entire area not exactly numb, but not really responsive either. Not entirely sure if it is actually nerves going there, or just the pain, but sex is the last thing from my mind. Usually a week or so, but it clears up on its own as the nerves stop being pinched and start recovering.

Uhhh…a friend told me that after his divorce and due to strange thoughts of “cheating” on his ex-wife, Apcalis is one of the things that made this less embarrassing

Thank you - you saved me a report. :slight_smile:

I had an issue with ED for several years. As it turned out, it was directly the result of being an undiagnosed /uncontrolled diabetic.

Without getting into too much detail: getting and maintaining an erection that was sufficiently, well, erect for use was difficult. And, yes, it was frustrating as hell, for both my wife and me. It was possible to orgasm without a full erection, but traditional intercourse was difficult-to-impossible.

What worked for me was Viagra, and getting onto diabetes meds (which, along with lifestyle changes, brought my blood sugar under control). Now that my blood sugar is well-controlled, I don’t actually need the Viagra anymore, despite being 15 years older than I was when I first starting having ED issues.

Diabetes can fuck you up in so many ways. :frowning:

Thank you for taking that seriously.

It can be a common effect of many anti-depressants, unfortunately. They make it harder to achieve and sustain an erection, but they also stifle the libido, which means that you can’t get it up but don’t really care: which, long-term, isn’t really good for mental health either.

I’ll bite.

I witnessed a terrible crime, and it fucked me up inside. Insomnia, stress, etc.

I noticed not long after this, I couldn’t get or maintain erections.

When I told a family member about what I saw, the erections came back.

So I guess the moral of the story is, talk to your family? Worked for me.

I was in my mid 30s at the time.