Well, I’m up–so far that’s all I can say for it! Cawfee is very tasty this morning for some unknown reason…
Haze, I sympathize with your situation without having been there myself. In my family, it’s all about the laissez faire attitude, except for my dad who became disenchanted with all us kids around the age of ten or so and basically ignored us unless we pissed him off, in which case he’d just smack us around until he felt better. I’ve never been much of a pressure-mom myself, preferring to let my kids make their own decisions. I’ll give advice but I figure it’s up to them to make their own way and who the hell am I to push them into avenues that they don’t feel suited for? The thing is, it really is YOUR life, you only get one, and I can’t think of anything worse than to look back and feel you wasted portions of your life doing things to please others rather than being true to yourself. I totally understand not feeling ready to plunk down 30K x what? 3-4 years for a PhD? I also feel that at 26 there’s no pressing reason for you to decide on this course RIGHT THIS MINUTE. Grad school is one of those things that’s always around, really, and although it might be more difficult in some ways to get back into a scholar’s groove after you’ve been out of it, by the same token I think you would be much more committed to your course if you came to it as a result of real conviction on your own part rather than because it’s expected of you and you don’t feel up to fighting for your autonomy. Also, your parents need a reality check, because any kid who has an MA at your age is by no means a slacker–they could have a drug abusin’, slutty, conscienceless, irresponsible, feckless baby momma with five kids by six different men so as far as I’m concerned they ought to be kissing your feet for being as sensible, grounded, and motivated as you are. If the most radical acts of independence you can manage are taking up with a white guy and putting off or deciding against a PhD I don’t see they have much room to complain! Shoot, if I were your mom about the only thing I’d be ragging you about is smoking, because that’s really a very bad choice that actually DOES have serious potential for adverse repercussions. No PhD? Phht, please, does not even register on the “Naughty Kid” scale!
I’m feeling kinda down this morning–may I vent? Thanks… Anyway, the SO has one of those families–not your ordinary garden variety annoying, but actually toxic on a major scale. He broke away from them at an early age when we got together and has had very little contact with any of them in the past 20 years and what little contact there’s been has been, well, not good. At any rate, he does keep desultory track of his twin brother and he discovered a few days ago via researching message board posts that his brother has been diagnosed with MS–pictures posted show he’s looking pretty bad and uses a cane to walk. Now, Himself, in spite of all efforts to not give a shit the way the rest of his crappy family does, is pretty soft hearted (which is why he had to break away–he was the family scapegoat/whipping boy) and it just broke his heart to find out his brother is sick and not gonna get better. So after much discussion he decided to send his bro a PM via a board they both frequent, and the answer that came back was just pure evil–negative, dismissive, groin-kicking level nasty.
I feel really bad, because I advised him to make contact–my point of view is that no matter what kind of sewage water might have gone under the bridge, there are certain things that require acknowledgement and I told him I’d lose respect for him if he didn’t at least TRY to let Bro know that he cares. I guess I’m just one of those Pollyanna people who always sees and thinks the best of others until my nose gets rubbed in the shit… Anyway, I had this vain and stupid hope that maybe something so literally life changing as a progressive incurable disease might have made Bro a bit less of an asshole or maybe just a bit more open to a rapprochement but apparently not so much. I feel bad that Himself was so categorically rejected and I’m so mad I could spit–I just want to go postal in email on Bro and let him know what a dickhead he really is. I guess it’s my mama bear side coming out–NOBODY messes with MY man but ME! 
I suppose the whole thing isn’t a total waste–it’s opened up some areas of discussion for us that have been very productive and Himself has been facing some things about his childhood that dog him to this day. I’m just angry, though, because all that baggage he carries around has repercussions in our relationship but there will never be a way for him to resolve any of it with his family directly–so I guess I just get to continue being the sounding board and bearing the brunt of helping him to deal with his family issues without any assistance. It really sucks–in spite of every effort to drive him away he still loves his brother and wishes things could be different.
On a purely practical note, my research shows that of identical twins, if one gets MS the other is 30% likely to get it as well, as opposed to only 4% for fraternals or ordinary siblings. Himself hasn’t presented with symptoms, though, which is good–but considering that smoking is a risk factor for MS we’re going to be having a very pointed conversation quite soon, I think. He’s been smoking for 25 years and I think that’s more than enough! Just another wonderful legacy of his fabulous family–as teenagers their grandmother (who raised them after their mom abandoned them) would put cartons of cigs in their christmas stockings. :rolleyes:
On a lighter note, today is Princess Grandkid’s B-day celebration–my son’s fiancee’s parents are in town so it’s also a “meet the family” day for us. I should be up chopping veggies for my tortellini salad but instead I’m Doping–hmm, where have I heard THAT before? I went shopping last night and found THE most EEEEEVILLL Grandma present possible–a fabulous set of matched wooden percussion instruments–bongo, tambourine, sweet potato, egg shaker, some weird clackety thing… No batteries required to keep making noise FOREVER!!! Perfect Granny gift, I suck, heh… 
I promise I’ll post some pics of Her Imperial Cuteness later.