::reaches in boss’s desk and pulls out a pair of fur lined handcuffs::
Does it involve these?
nooooooooooooo. those belong to Kallessa.
Sorry about the jello, boss. No hard feelings, right? Here, let’s shake hands and make up.
Ya got a problem with that?
Where’s my soda? I think I need raise. How about it, boss?
Arden’s the one with the problem Kallessa!
Ooooo… that explains it. I would have thought a leash for Astroboss was more her style.
So… what do Astroboss and Astrofiancee do that keeps her going on all these trips?
I don’t have a problem! All I do is take dictation!
well I heard it involved monkeys, a straining bar and several tubes of astroglide
Whoa.
Maybe we should all ask for a raise based on that information.
Oooh, can I be the guy that carries briefcases and boosts employee confidence!?
well I heard that jr8 had photos or maybe it was Silo. Or the nephew one, I’m not sure.
But I know there were photos.
:eek:
Who told you that, *Prima! I may need to have someone rubbed out!
OK, I’m officially doubling everyone’s salaries provided that you all swear an oath of loyalty, and swear that all mention of this will cease immediately! Place your right hands on your monitors, and repeat after me: “We, Astroboss’s loyal stooges, hangers-on, toadies, flunkies, and assorted other hired-help, do solemnly
swear never again to make mention of the monkeys OR the astroglide ever, EVER again!”
The photos you may keep for your own amusement, but they must NEVER leave the office, physically, via e-mail, or via fax!
Silo, you’re on! You get to carry the briefcase. Tell no one what is inside!
Kallessa, here’s your soda… sorry it’s warm (they didn’t have any left in the fridge!)…
Fiver, get away from me! I ain’t shaking your hand!
Fine ** Astrobossman**, bring me a warm soda. I understand how it’s not your fault they don’t stock the cooler. And obviously, the idea that there might be something external that can be added to soda to make it cold, that would never occur to you. So I’m not important enough for you to think, to show a little courtesy. Maybe I know somebody who would treat me well, someone who might listen to me . . . .
Get some ice, kid. And I’m still waiting for the doughnut.
Heyyy, **AB, ** baby, am I about to do YOU a huge favor! Look, I am ready to step in as Sales Manager. I’ve got years of experience, my own white belt and shoes, suits that look like Volkswagon seat covers and a HUGE collection of dirty jokes.
I am ready to cut smokin’ deals with all your accounts, go to “marketing seminars” in Cabo San Lucas, Vegas and St. Kitts, bitch about you behind your back and help Crunchy Frog smirk at the babes. I can drink any buyer under the table, turn in incomprehensible, artfully-padded expense reports and keep this bloated marmot of a company solvent for a few more market downturns.
Whaddya say? Wait, don’t answer now, because I’m also throwing into the deal - practically at cost - this fabulous set of Ginsu steak knives with a 50 year guarantee.
Just sign here…and here…and here…over here… and down there…and initial this. Press really hard, there are 9 layers to get through…
OK, Hometownboy you’re in! Get crackin’! I wanna see some serious wheeling and dealing…
**Kallessa **, here’s some ice for you… I hope you appreciate it! It came directly from my person ice-for-scotch stash! Sorry about the doughnut… the Marmot grabbed it out of my jello-slickened hand as I came back in!
Hey! We still need a couple of chauffers! Anyone? You must be able to drive VERY defensively! And be skilled in high speed evasions, several martial arts, and able to curse in a variety of languages.
Forget the ice, give me the scotch. Scotch, I can drink without ice.
**Kallessa **, join me in my office, and we’ll sample the scotch with and without ice… and judge which is best!
Hold my calls!
Tiki! Get back to work!
I’ll be the shady Chinese accountant that one day vanishes with all the money and all that is left is a Chinese face mask (ala Mission: Impossible), and a note saying: “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”
OK? 
— G. Raven
[sup]Morrison, you and me, buddy! Keep it quiet and don’t let anyone get suspicious… when we’ve got all the loot, you take off with it, and I’ll stay here to cover our tracks… after the heat blows over, I’ll meet you in Bangk… uh, I mean where we agreed to meet, OK?[/sup]
Posted by Astroboy
I heard that, boss. I think it’s time for a raise.
And more scotch. Your door has a lock, right?