“Dear Humans: You should’ve followed the dolphins. Oh well, it’s too late now.”
An eviction notice - Vogon constructor fleet is coming.
“U up?”
“We’ve been sending that signal for years, and we just got a reply.”
“What did it say?”
“‘If you don’t turn that bloody noise off, we’re gonna come over there and do it for you.’ In the 81 most common languages.”
“Do we know where it came from?”
“Barnard’s star, six light years away.”
“And we’re still sending? They’re going to get six more years of our signal?”
“Yup.”
“Uh-oh…”
“Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!”
“Don’t call the police----Stay in the house and wait for us to come back”
“You should have stayed silent.”
That would definitely creep me the fuck out.
“ASL?”
"Your call is important to us . . . "
A triumphant “Got you!”
Thank you.
:: sound of licking lips ::
“You’ve come through to the wrong department. Please contact our local representative, known to you as David Icke.”
From the multiverse, Hitler’s evil twin.
A picture of Amelia Earhart’s head in a jar.
“What does 14 k of g in a fpd mean?”
“And can an propellor aircraft take off if it’s on a treadmill?”
…Allahu Akbar…
“You’re bugs!”
From:
The Three-Body Problem
By Cixin Liu
Great series, Keweenaw.
Aliens: “You can remove your probes now.”
“Assume the position”