95 Never laugh at another man’s dreams.
- Never date a co-worker, no matter how cute.
- Never call off work the next day after beeing out drinking with co-workers the night before.:smack:
I just noticed this one and wanted to add that this has been a rule I’ve lived by for, oh, about two decades now. It’s just good sense.
- Never vote in any reality TV show.
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Never forget that your own dreams (the night-time type) are only interesting to you and your therapist, not to your friends.
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When a friend of yours breaks up with his / her partner, never criticise the new ex, because they just might get back together and then your friend will tell her partner aaall you said to her.
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When you break up with a partner, make sure they’re not demonstrating your lab the next day.
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Never ignore the call of the coffee.
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Never waste the entire afternoon with your office mates doing the crossword, and trying to come up with a ludicruously pretentious office motto. In Latin.
Passengers will please refrain
From flushing toliets while the train
Is standing in the station.
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Never try to help your bitchy-ass mother-in-law who’s been living in her truck with her cats following strange escapades in the Grand Canyon. Particularly do not let her live with you.
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Never make a major life decision at 3:00 a.m.
Rule 94a Unless No one is watching 
106 Never rise to the bait 
(thats one that i do live too!)
107 Never tell anyone to “sod off and mind their own business” unless you are 100% certain they aren’t a plain clothes police officer. (Learnt that one the hard way :rolleyes: )
Damn!
- Never piss off the person who’s going to help you carry baked goods across London.
Never fart in a stall shower. (Peeing is okay, though.)
Never iron your pants while you are wearing them.
When the traffic cop says, “Okay, Mac, where’s the fire?” never say, “In your eyes, officer.”
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Never go to Birmingham. It’ll destroy your soul.
Aye, that it will. As well as trying to write yet another observing proposal, where essentially you have to say “Hey! Look at me! Whee! Aren’t I good? Please can I observe some galaxies on your shiny telescope? Please? Why? Oh, because I’m really good at what I do, and with this data I can be fantastic and solve one of the unanswered questions in extragalactic radio astronomy once and for all.”
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Never forget to wind up the southern Nancy-Boys.
- never trust a junkie
- never tell someone your just passing time with them until someone better comes along
- never doubt the power of super drunken people from west yorkshire with chips on their shoulder and what hate their job and everyone who works there
Lol. I actually miss West Yorkshire!
so do i. occasionally. when i get all the shit off london people to do with my super broad warrior accent. which bit you from AngelicGemma?
- never ever drink and go swimming. everybody knows it = certain death
- Never ask paulberserker if he owns a flat cap.
- Never force a fart.
- never start baiting paulberserker when you’re going to bump into him at a dopefest in a months time.
smiley etc
- Only bait the Northerners who are still trapped up North.
- Conversely, baiting exiled Yorkshiremen should be done from a distance. With no mention of things like the War of the Roses
