I used to think that I was a serial monogamist. I wanted relationships but soon got sexually bored with my partners. It was crazy, I was with some women that I adored but just really grew bored with sex with them. Then I stopped being monogamous.
I went through a phase where I would only get involved with either married women, women in some other relationship ( but needed an extra outlet) or women so far my junior that eventually the inbuilt sell by date would kick in! It was thrilling and invigorating to have a sexual relationship with a woman and not have to be faced with dealing with the day to day minutiae in the turgid swamp of married life.
Don’t get me wrong I wasn’t minimising these relationships in my mind, I was deeply involved until they finished.
Now, I have a circle of varied and fascinating friends and partners who do not demand or want sexual exclusivity and its working out reasonably well. We don’t talk or if we do don’t dwell much on each others extracurricular activities except in a supportive way.
I am constantly amazed with friends who split up with partners and think that they need to get back out there and get another partner. After two or three split ups with major relationships you would think that people may give the option of staying single-but-occupied a shot?
I guess the only concern is hey what am I gonna do in my dotage hahaha? But really I don’t think a spouse or spawn is much a guarantee that you will have someone to look after you either.
The only thing that is essential is that you have to be honest at the outset what you want from any relationship. Ambiguity is gonna lead someone to heart ache, yet you need to be tactful about your intentions.
Fidelity is incredibly rare IMHO. People would be surprised how many of us are not into it