A lot of my friends a college say that i’m miserable, I don’t make the effort, but I mean why should I laugh at jokes I don’t find funny? or smile at people I don’t wanna smile at? Ok, I’ll do things that I don’t wanna for personal gain, or maybe to make someone else happy.
I think the problem is that I have a face of a drug addict, and have large bags under my eyes(Is there anyway to get rid of that?)sick to death of people saYing “whats the matter” you know what? I am absolutely fucking fine!!!
So glad I got that off my chest. Is there ANYbody else who has been under this kind of scrutiny? Basically I’m saying HELP!
Firsthand experience: one good effect is that British women sound so cute when they yell “miserable bastard” at you.
Then again, their accent makes nearly everything sound cute to my easily-amused midwestern ears, so I’m not sure that’s relevant.
Anyway: yes, I’ve been there, and yes, there’s a legitimate place for miserable bastards (or “stoics”). Don’t laugh at jokes you don’t find funny, unless it’ll get you laid. Otherwise, you’re perpetuating the myth of someone’s funniness, and you’re only hurting them in the long run.
Regarding the bags under the eyes: Have you tried cucumber slices? Astrogirl swears by them…
Regarding the question “has ANYone else been under such scrutiny?” Yes, I have! Numerous times I have been the only foreigner among a group of Koreans, and they ALL want to go WAY out of their way to see to it that the foreigner goes away with a good impression of Korea… if I should look anything but absolutely delighted at ALL times (despite the fact that I am bored out of my fucking mind because they are all speaking Korean way too fast for me to follow, and I’m unconfortable sitting on the freaking floor, and the fact that they ordered seafood (which I hate) after they asked me if I liked seafood (and I answered, honestly, “no.”), and I’d much rather be home surfing the Straight Dope…), they ask, “Are you OK?”
Trust me: it’s easiest to just suck it up for a couple of hours, and pretend that you are having a great time!
This is, of course, assuming that you actually ARE fine, and not just pretending here that you are…
No. I am really, you see I inheirited a miserable face from my parents and I think now it’s in full bloom so everybodys going ‘are you all right’ 'whats the matter?" Ok , I think I’m lucky that people care for my wellbeing, but it’s going beyond the point of no return.
For example, say my friends crack up jokes and I don’t laugh, the usual response is 'how come you didn’t laugh?" I say I don’t find it funny, and they disregard it as me being ‘miserable, and don’t find anything amusing’
I hope it doesn’t effect my hopes of getting a job.
I always felt “different” since about puberty. Could never put my finger on why I was so down about stuff, hard on myself, and in general, miserable to be around. Friends would generally tease me and say “You’re such a bitch…blah blah…”
I was quite defensive and people took this as being bitchy, when I was just very insecure and miserable inside.
These depressed episodes were more pronounced at difficult times in my life, ( i.e. breaking up with a boyfriend, starting college, anything stressful.)
Finally, after many relationships were troubled…my mom told me she thought I had a chemical inbalance. Yep this also runs in my family.
I started seeing a counselor, then she referred me to a psycologist (M.D.) for possible medication management. It’s the best thing I did for myself. I only wish I got help sooner. My teen and twenties would have been a lot happier.
Ryan - besides the bags under your eyes and the fact you don’t feel like laughing at every lame joke that comes your way, how do you feel?
Since my childhood people have often told me to “smile”, and made comments like “you’re so serious” and “what’s the matter?” Granted, there’s a nearly permanent crease in my forehead and Lola (my wife) once thought I never smiled and had no sense of humour whatsoever.
My reply, in the words (and voice) of John Lennon… “It’s just me face”.
On the other hand, I was diagnosed with depression some years ago and thanks to the miracles of modern pharmaceutical science that crease has diminished a little.
But even when I am not wrestling with my demons and am in a happy place, I still look serious. I don’t laugh at every lame joke my co-workers tell because sometimes they are simply not funny enough to make me burst into peals of laughter.
I think that college has made me miserable. I can make people laugh but not as much as I can nowadays. Plus my older brothers reputation as a wimpy soppy idiot has penetrated all levels of my social life.
I went to college to make a fresh start, but I’m sick to death of everything coming back to friggin haunt me. The other thing is that I love women, but there is none in my class, so all we have is bleeding ege, ego, ego!
hang in there…it does get better. College was so competitive for me and I thought I was such a failure at everything. I seem to put too much pressure on myself.
Try and help yourself first…you will be amazed at the difference talking to someone can make (along with a little bit 'o zac). You may even only need counseling and not any prescription SSRI’s (Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft, etc.). But the first step is always the hardest.
Feynn…people always used to say that to me as well. I’m just a very intense person. Heck, I still have that look of determination/anger/whatever when walking thru the offices at work. Prozac hasn’t changed who I am…just took the edge off a little It helps me not take life so seriously.
Ryan…Good luck… Things do get better. It’s quite a stressful situation in college. I would also recommend a good pub outing with your friends once in a while, as well.
There are some great benefits to being a miserable bastard. Sure, they aren’t all readily apparent, particularly to the cheerful, but you do have certain advantages over normal folk.[ul][]Greeting cards? Bah, who needs ‘em. Better yet, complain to Hallmark that there is no “detached indifference” card for your Valentine. [] Save money on holiday gift giving. []Take back items you stole to begin with, receive honor of carving the Roast Beast. [] When the cool kids pick lab partners, you get to work with the professor. [] Add in some disfiguring scars and a distinctive outfit and you are well on your way to being a super-villain. [] Three words: women dig jerks! []Avoid the unpredictable ups and downs of the manic depressive. []Watch ball games with Billy Martin and Marge Schott.[/ul]
