Notice that I said “ideal,” and not “perfect.”
“Ideal” probably means something different for everyone. Here are some things I admire in a woman:
Intelligence
Independence
Warmth
Physical Awareness
What do the rest of you think?
Physical Awareness?
What does that mean?
I’d say the four you’ve mentioned (although I have little or no idea of what you mean by ‘physical awareness’, although it sounds nice), add a strong sense of empathy, and a willingness to listen, and I think I’m in love.
(realizes the irony of his statement)
<hijack>
You do realize that to have a woman like that you must be
Intelligent
Independent
Warm
Physically Aware (whatever that means).
</hijack>
<another hijack>
Why specifically in a woman? Won’t you admire the same things in a man?
It’s quite wrong to suggest that woman=wife, but there is a certain link between the two concepts. This is what King Lemuel’s mum advised him to look for in a wife, in the last chapter of Proverbs:
A good wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant, she brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and tasks for her maidens. She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. She girds her loins with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor, and reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. She makes herself coverings; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers girdles to the merchant. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.
If we’re not to assume that women are literally expected to make linen garments, then we shouldn’t assume they’re expected to have families either. But if they do, this is a pretty good blueprint for a wife. An equal partner in life. Entrepreneurial, responsible, wise and kind.
On my list are:
Able to come back after an argument, without having to first determine who won.
Laughs at my jokes when I tell them to new people, even if she’s heard them. I’ll do the same for her.
Likes sour food, like tart wines and saurkraut.
Has warm feet, or wears sox to bed.
Doesn’t flirt in front of me.
Courage.
Seriously. I found that women who are act all cowardly around snakes or spiders become very unappealing to me. On the other hand, if a woman is bold enough to hold a big tarantula in her hand, she suddenly becomes a lot more attractive in my eyes.
A sense of humor
intelligent
good conversationalist
animated (no, not like Tiny Toons)
comfortable with herself and her body
sarcastic
able to take sarcasm. This one is a big one. If I say something to you where you can either laugh it off as a joke or get all huffy and offended, I need you to pick the former. If I have to continually apologize for every comment that may or may not be offensive I will get bored rather quickly.
Able to make the first move sexually (what can I say? I’m a wuss)
Glasses are just a bonus
I read it as meaning “not comatose”, which would be ideal for many circumstances.
Sorry about the confusion. I intended Physically Aware to mean Realizes that she has a body and takes care of it. I should have said healthy.
Darn.
IceQueen reminds me that there are, in fact, at least two genders to consider here. I’m actually expecting another SDMB member to start the “Ideal Man” thread any minute now.
I am unable to comment on “not comatose.”
Courage (as mentioned above) is right up there on the list, because it’s going to take one heck of a courageous woman to put up with the likes of me. Such boldness extends to being able to make the first move. I look for liberation in my women and encourage it in whatever way I can.
Playful is important too. As someone who is creative, my inner child is still alive and kicking (usually your seatback at the theater). It will require a person who is able to appreciate the novelty and newness of seeing the world through a child’s eyes to understand me.
Maternal instincts. While we’re on the topic of playfulness, it’s also going to be important to have motherly feelings, because there’s going to be some babies in the house. I’ve met a few women who were almost entirely lacking in maternal instincts and it’s not a pretty sight, especially when one of them has children. Any woman I’m going to marry had better know how to play with children.
Loyalty is crucial. I’m a one-woman kind of guy and infidelity is one of the only things that can instantly destroy my feelings of love.
Clever is more important to me than intelligent. Any lack of intelligence can be remedied. Cleverness is almost impossible to teach, but it is a vital problem solving tool. I’d also lump resourcefulness into this same trait.
Versatility is another important aspect. One trick ponies need not apply. A woman is going to have to be able to be comfortable around a campfire or the table of a fine French restaurant if she’s with me. All of this follows suit with aculturation, so a cosmopolitan attitude will be something that I look for from the start.
Inventiveness comes from the same column as versatility, but I throw it in for its importance in preventing staleness from creeping into a relationship. It comes into play (as it were) in all aspects of life and really makes a difference.
Productivity. Along with all of the above there must be a sense of constructive occupation. Soap opera addicts and Barbara Cartland fans may please feel free to look elsewhere. Time is a precious commodity and squandering it upon such drivel is a sure-fire turn off for me.
And last, but not least;
Humor. A sense of humor is critical to getting along with me. I am a ham, and proud of it. As Ender noted, if you are unwilling to take what I say in jest, there’s going to be a lot of strife. I am not by nature a mean person, so anyone who tries to assume that I am being malicious will quickly find themselves out my door.
As to the observations of the Ice Queen, I couldn’t agree more. I do my best to bring nearly every one of the traits mentioned above into a relationship and therefore hope for much of the same. Yes, it’s one heck of a laundry list, but the woman who brings this to the table is on for a particularly fine time.
PS: everton, please tell me that you are a fan of the Britcom, Chef!
Knows how to love.
Knows how to be loved.
Loves me.
Tris
“Courtship consists in a number of quiet attentions, not so pointed as to alarm, nor so vague as not to be understood.” ~ Laurence Sterne ~
Sorry Albert, the previous post was my rather weak attempt at humour. I thought it was pretty clear what you meant. I’ve long since given up looking for the ideal woman myself, but there’s plenty of wisdom in the comments other people have made.
To Zenster: I have to admit I’m not a big fan of Chef, but I’m not a bad cook (so I’m told), so my ideal woman wouldn’t need any cordon bleu diplomas.
Wow Zenster. That IS one heck of a laundry list,
but I could have written that. Eerie. With
playful, versatile, and sense of humor probably topping
my list, these are the exact qualities that I not only
value in myself and in others, but strive to cultivate
and nurture in myself.
Gee my boyfriend’s lucky, isn’t he? 
Flaxen hair.
Golly BUP, you’ve narrowed your dating pool down to 7% of women?
Oh-wait- you didn’t say “naturally” flaxen hair, did you?
The perfect woman is, without a doubt, Laura Petrie*.
*from the Dick Van Dyke Show. Yeah, I watched a lot of TV as a kid. Why do you ask?
Much of the above qualities, plus physical beauty. No one else mentioned this. No apologies on my part.
My fiancee is a knockout and that is one of many fine qualities I enjoy.
Maybe this is what is meant by physical awareness
She’s tuned in to my wave.
She has a mind of her own and isn’t afraid to speak it.
She listens and remembers little details.
She’s willing to learn.
She’s willing to teach.
She knows when to laugh and play, when to keep quiet and be serious.
She’s soulful and spiritually aware.