What can women do to get their SO interested in them sexually?

[DianaG]

@lobotomyboy63

If I were your husband, I would hope I wouldn’t be fucking you but rather that we would be fucking each other.

That’s very enlightened of you, dear.

@lobotomyboy63

You make it sound like I would censor every conversation and have to approve every topic. A few things are private, IMO. But I realize there’s a need to blow off steam, and I think that’s what same-sex friends are for. And I think that answers your question WRT why it wouldn’t bother me to face your girlfriends—I’ve heard men talk trash about their wives and while I’m sure there’s a lot of truth to it, I also know there are two sides to every story.

Other things that are private? Not a lot, really. A lot of people are sensitive about money…I’m not so much, but I’d expect there are others who wouldn’t want the spouse talking about it to all and sundry. An embarrassing medical condition or family situation, maybe.

(boldng mine)

But that doesn’t answer the question at all. I’m honestly not trying to give you a hard time here, but why would you think that my female friends would understand that there are two sides to it, but my male friends wouldn’t? That’s hardly a gender divide, there.

[MichaelQReilly]

@cjepson

But the title of the thread is “What can women do to get their SO interested…”. So that suggestion would not be an answer to the question.

I’m not Shodan, but I definitely think this is true. I’ve always used ice cream flavors, but the metaphor is the same. Men are grass is greener types. We could have one Victoria’s Secret model and that wouldn’t stop us from wanting to give a different model a spin after a while. Now obviously the world doesn’t work that way unless you are George Clooney or Derek Jeter, so most of us eventually settle down. But I don’t think the desire ever really goes away.

[Shodan]

@Misery Loves Co.

See, I can’t imagine a bigger turn off than my wife doing something she finds unpleasant just to make me happy.

Well, if she makes it clear that she is doing you a big favor, that is one thing. “Not my thing, particularly, but I know it drives you out of your mind, so enjoy, my little love cookie” is another. Taking turns is yet another.

Best of all goes back to what was said earlier about shared interests. “I don’t particularly like that - how about this instead?” “Yes, please, especially if you do thus-and-so” is quite nice, because then everybody is happy.

Again, you have to find someone willing to compromise as well as explore. Know what your own non-negotiables are, figure out what the other person’s non-negotiables are, and don’t jump to any conclusions.

Because sooner or later, it will be Sunday afternoon, the kids are at the mall, and all the yardwork is done.

One of my favorite commercials. The butler (apparently) is seducing the French maid. Suddenly, a teen-age girl walks in and interrupts them.

Somewhat flustered, the maid remarks, “You’re home early.” The teen-age girl moans, with adolescent despair,

“My parents are so weird.”

Regards,
Shodan

[Voyager]

@Misery_Loves_Co

Right - that’s what I thought. In the most ironic sense of the phrase, you’re fucked.

On edit, the Not-so-Flip expansion: You’re left to decide whether sex is as important to your psychological well being as all that. Point being that you can’t change the other person, so your options are put up or get out.

Which is why we told our daughters that they’d be crazy not to practice before marriage. There are lots of things to check compatibility on before marriage, including money (and food ? ) People might lie, and people do change, so nothing is certain. To carry on the metaphor where no metaphor has gone before, you should visit lots of restaurants and do lots of cooking before settling down. If you love bacon and your prospective bride is Orthodox, it might cause problems. You wouldn’t want your spouse to go sneaking off to restaurants with other diners behind your back, would you?

[lobotomyboy63]

@DianaG

That’s very enlightened of you, dear.

Hey, I’m all about equality. I don’t want to take credit for who did what to whom…the important thing is that we get done. And done right!

@DianaG

(boldng mine)

But that doesn’t answer the question at all. I’m honestly not trying to give you a hard time here, but why would you think that my female friends would understand that there are two sides to it, but my male friends wouldn’t? That’s hardly a gender divide, there.

Same gender issues. You can tell me, for instance, about what a drag it is to have your period but I’ve never had one. An African-American can tell me what discrimination is like, but I’ve never lived it. People say war is hell but I’ve never fought in one.

Maybe saying “There are two sides” isn’t the best way of expressing it. I read an article once that discussed whether or not size matters. Some women admitted, “Well, yeah, it does…” Only it turned out that women thought size meant “thicker” and men thought size meant “longer.” :smack:

I’ll have to ponder on this.