My girlfriend of 17 years has been trying some new things lately. She wants us to eat our morning cereal from one large bowl sitting across from each other. She wants me to join her for her dog walks but walk a good distance behind her. She wants me to select her clothes and she select mine. Sex might be for her or for me or for both but not simply spontaneous. What the hell is going on?? She used to be normal aside from periodic alcoholism.
This is hard is to answering. What question?
I am trying to figure out what book she might be reading if anyone recognizes the behaviors
There’s a Japanese expression,” ‘We eat from the same bowl.’ But I don’t know of any book espousing that. and it has to do with shared hardships, not literally eating from the same bowl.
I’m certainly no expert, but it seems like maybe she’s wanting to strengthen or enhance the relationship. And doesn’t all that just boil down to communication? What if you asked, without judgement, “Hey, where is all this coming from?” Let her know that you are invested in the relationship (assuming you are) and that it might be better if you came up with ways to work on it together.
None of it rings any bells as far as what specifically she’s been reading or listening to.
She recently had 1/2 lung removed because of cancer and is recovering nicely. (non smoker) She seems to have a new appreciation for life and I am being supportive and going along with it. I only mentioned a few of the changes, some of them are really comical. Sometimes I even get to control the clicker for the TV.
sounds, on the whole, like a good thing. maybe ask and if she doesn’t tell you…
maybe it isn’t a book: maybe she is making it up as she goes along. if this is true, maybe you could write the book. or maybe she is writing the book.
hell, I don’t know- just enjoy it.
let us know what happens.
Let’s assume this is a 100% legit post.
The answer is : it doesn’t matter what she’s been reading. Flee for your life.
Joe
What would she have to do before the phrase ‘Control Freak’ crossed your mind? ‘Relationship’ means two people relate to one another, in terms of needs and wants and paths through life. It doesn’t mean ‘I dictate what happens’. Run.
Assuming the OP means a relationship that has lasted 17 years, and not a relationship with a 17-yr old, then I’d suggest that it’s odd she’s remained ‘the same’ this whole time. People change over time; kinda weird NOT to.
I thought you claimed she was locked up in jail…
She did 13 days, got an early release because of over crowding. That was for DUI.
You say she had half a lung removed. When people survive a potentially fatal situation they sometimes change. Maybe she’s trying to figure out how she wants to change.
This sounds possible.
Fifty Shades of Grey?
Funny you said that, she was talking about that book series yesterday. What she described about it didn't seem to relate to the new behavior but possibly the person she spoke to about this book might be giving her ideas.
This morning she asked if I would inquire about renting some horses that could run fast. I am open minded but at 64 I don't feel like falling off a galloping horse so I respectfully declined her challenge of a horse race.
I have this strange feeling that a threesome might be on the list. Things like that are fun but often turn out bad.
If you’re referring 同じ釜の飯を食う, that translates as “eat rice from the same cauldron.” It doesn’t imply sharing of a serving bowl.
If she picks out a burka for you to wear the next time you go for a walk. Get out of dodge.
Have you discussed all this with her?
Nothing wrong with that.
Kinda cute. But kinda odd.
Warning Wil Robinson. HUGE red flag to me. That’s not joining her for a walk.
You mean for like daily wear? Set it out the night before? Or you buy her clothes and she buys her’s. Or is this just a suggestion on what to wear? If it’s the last, just a suggestion. Well, OK. I wouldn’t put up with it though.
Doesn’t really compute. IMHO, sex should always be for both. It isn’t fun any other way. Differnt couples handle this in differnt ways. What every floats BOTH your boats.
Good question. I agree that it may very well be related to her recent surgery. I don’t read any self help type books. You have known her for 17 years. Ask what the hell is going on. Don’t word it that way though.