Indirectly, I was hoping to figure out if their might be a book she was looking at so that I could read the book and better anticapate where she is going. I don’t want her to feel like I think she is just doing something she read somewhere so I haven’t asked her why all the sudden changes. I make little comments like " You seem to have a more positive outlook lately" or " Jail seemd to give you a new out look on life" . I have a feeling this won’t last long anyway.
Yeah, I said it didn’t. and I am only restating a saying not repeating it in Japanese. There is no nit here.
Speak to her directly about it.
I know next to nothing about the book other than: It’s crazy popular among women right now. It has to do with some executive and a grad student (I think) that gets crazy sexual and is very BDSM. Some dominance/submission things too.
Who knows. Maybe something like that inspired her, or she came up with this on her own.
Hrmmm, I dunno. Sounds a bit like she’s toying with submission/dominance stuff. If she’s still seeking it out with you, it’s probably a big turn on for her, and will inevitably lead into your sex life.
But hey, if you’re digging it too, knock yourself out.
You’re old enough to ASK when a partner says “Let’s do <some very odd, sudden thing>” to ask “Why?”. What may work for her doesn’t have to work for you; being in a relationship doesn’t mean sharing every last interest and activity. If you don’t want to walk behind her while on the dog walk, and she hasn’t come up with an ANSWER as to why she wants that, then you need to just not do it until you find out what’s going on. If it is all a fantasy thing, you need to be IN on it in order to share it. If she’s moving on into some other spectrum without you, because you don’t care to go, that’s one thing. If she’s moving on without even informing you, well…you need to ASK, and she needs to tell. And if she won’t, then it’s time to move on for you, 'cause she probably already has.
The next time you go for a walk with her and the dog, put the collar around your neck, and the lead’s handle in the dogs mouth. If your friend does not question this, get used to your new sub role in life.
If your friend questions this, take the collar off your neck, put it around her neck, go for the walk, and get used to your new dom role in life, but if she questions this too, then ask her “Are you sure?”
Whatever her answer, then immediately bend her over and take her from behind, for that’s the best way to deal with teh crazy.
I had a cat for 17 years. They were good years. But then it came time to get a new cat.
Are her behavioral changes odd enough to consider metastatic disease to her brain?
Actually, a friend had that happen. Along with odd behavior changes were seizures and fugue states. Things escalated very quickly.
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Well, I figured out what the walk behind thing was about. I guess after her lung surgery and the large scar that was left her body image has suffered a bit. She wanted me to see how many guys would come out to talk to her when she walked her dog to show me she was still attractive. I wasn’t walking like 10 ft behind her it was more like 1/2 block behind. She really had a tough time with her bi polar disease, alcoholism and recent bout with cancer. So much of her self image has been based on her looks and figure I think she is having a tough time with getting older.
The only new thing this week is we are going to sign up for country western dancing or possibly ball room dancing. I am pretty much a rock and roll guy so not sure how this will fly.
I have been trying a bit of an experiment on my own. We never have been able to get a solid diagnosis of Bi-Polar disease because when she is in the disease she is wasted on alcohol and will not see a Dr. When she is out of the disease the Dr’s insist she is perfectly normal and just an alcoholic. I have found when she is in the disease wild horses cannot keep her form alcohol and drugs. It’s like once she has the first drink nothing can stop her until she ends up in a hospital or jail. This usually takes about 1 week.
A couple of months ago I decided to see how she would react to alcohol when she wasn’t in the grips. I have been keeping wine and beer in the house and she knows she is welcome to help herself instead of me having to find it and poor it down the drain. So far she hasn’t abused it and we haven’t had any episodes. She averages about 2 glasses of wine or two beers at night but sometimes does take one of her pills with it. Nothing really dramatic though. Durring an episode the drinking is 24/7 if she is able to stand up and walk more alcohol will be going down. To me this reinforces the theory that she has some kind of cycle rather than just plain alcoholism.
I am starting to wonder if a bit of alcohol might help to delay her monthly cycles. Over the years the frequency of these drinking craziness cycles has really increasded. Used to be maybe a couple of times year, sometimes over a year. Now making a month straight has been almost impossible and if it gets any worse she would probably have to be institutionalized.
Communication issues, hints of control freak, Bi-polar, self-medicating with alcohol, stints in jail… all manageable, but BY GOD if you should put up with country western dance.
If they start country and western dancing, all this stuff becomes fodder for C&W music.
When in doubt, blame books?
Nobody else looked at the thread title and went…cats?
Some!!! Women!!! Not all of us.
(snipped, bolded, and italicized)
I don’t want to sound mean about this, but you do know that the reason doctors worry about people “self-medicating” is not that it doesn’t work, but that it isn’t the best choice, and the side-effects are usually not the best.
If her doctors have that much of a hard-on about alcohol, your best bet may not be to get her drinking 24/7, but to find a different doctor that specializes in people with mental/emotional difficulties in patients with other diagnoses or hangups who can work within what she’s able to comply with.
I know that heart surgery can do strange things to people (cite) I assume that something similar could happen with a pulmonary operation. You might want to look further into that.
If she has a mental disorder exacerbated by self-medication and she’s just had a traumatic experience, it’s quite likely she’s getting worse.