For that matter what would make a straight man message you back too?
I have a gay male friend who can’t attract men on an online dating site - he thinks it must be how he phrases his first message - any ideas?
I should clarify - not just for sex hook ups, although he may need some help in this area! He is 45 and not bad looking, dresses well, professional etc.
Keywords like: Rich, Well-Hung, Look Like Brad Pitt - those words seem to work.
But to get serious, I assume you are talking about him responding to someone in response to his ad?
One error people make, no matter what sexual orientation, is jumping right into serious topics in the first email: “Before my ex died, we used to…After the chemo treatments…So I had to file for bankruptcy…” (You get the idea)
Or if you are talking creating an ad, I see a lot that are depressing from the get-go: “Lonely guy looking to find friend to help get over crisis…” (Gee, who wouldn’t want to meet that happy person?)
Others simply show that they have ridiculous expectations: “Unemployed, short, chubby, balding guy mid 40-s searching for 18-20 year old with swimmer’s body…”
(Yeah, like every 18 year old is eager to go out with a guy who looks like their Uncle Fred.)
Initial emails and ads should generally be upbeat and humorous - or at least light-hearted. People want to meet other people to have fun, to laugh, to go out and do things. Sure, sex will be playing a role soon enough, but you have to like the person first. Wit, personality, intelligence, interests in common - these are the things that attract people on-line.
Perhaps you could post something your friend has written (omitting name and address) so we can see exactly what the problem might be.
Thanks - I’ll ask him to give me a sample.
I don’t think the profile is the problem, he just doesn’t get many responses to his first message.
“No offer refused.”