On Saturday, I saw a girl. I thought she was very pretty, and extremely energetic. Since she was waving a sign trying to get people to go to her employer, I rather quickly figured out where she worked. I later stopped by and found out her name. She’s a student at my Alma Mater, and not too far off from me in age, I would bet.
I admit, I’m kinda sorta interested in her. But I don’t know anything about here, really! What do I do? Should I drop it? I mean, I am a total stranger. Should I try and meet her? How?
Why didn’t you meet her while she was sign waving? I think it would be weird to go track her down at work now, but maybe you can keep an eye out for her and approach her if she is ever out and about waving the sign again.
Since you know where she works, start dropping by OCCASSIONALLY. If possible make eye contact or just engage in a casual conversation (depending on where she works is this feasible? Is is a restaurant or an office?) Now that I think about it, I’d need more info about where she works before I can offer any suggestions.
I didn’t talk to her because she went back inside, and I was already late to go do something else I promised. Yeah, yeah, I know, love over sheduling, but I like to be on time.
Oh yeah, go buy some ice cream. A lot. If she’s not there be sure to ask about her ("Hey bandit’scrush, that bandit guy was here to see you again…) Just be sure to actually ask her out before it turns creepy.
Is “hey, you wanna go out on Saturday?” still socially acceptable?
At 38, divorced, with three kids, engineering a date is hard. You have to find out and take into consideration the other person’s marital status- never married (why the hell not?), divorced (recently? if not recently, how many serious relationships since the divorce?), separated (oh hell no not for all the love in the world), and in one instance separated and still living together (bwahahaha!). Kids- how many, what genders, live with you or the mom, how much time do you spend with them, what are their major dysfunctions, if any, will you be wanting more? Living quarters- apartment, house, trailer, tent out in the desert, van down by the river? By yourself, with roomate(s), mom, schizophrenic younger brother that you promised dear old mom you’d take care of for life on her deathbed? Job- good? Are you a workaholic, lazy bum, hate your job, plot to kill your coworkers? Education- graduated college, high school, dropped out in 8th grade?
So yeah, I can’t really just walk up to a stranger and say, “Hey, you wanna go out?” But I think that you still can. Enjoy the spontaneity of youth, young man.
Mention the sign-waving, her high energy, enthusiasm, sweet personality, etc. (“I couldn’t help but notice the other day…”) and use that as a pretense for taking her out to coffee nearby (somewhere spitting distance from the ice cream shop). That way, it’s believable, relatively comfortable (and not overly ambitious), and low-pressure.
Come up with something that sounds like a fun time…like a place you like to eat, a movie you want to see, concert tickets you have, etc. Then go talk to her.
Walk up to her and say “I saw you the other day and would like to get to know you better. Would you like to go out for (insert activity here)?” and see what she says. Don’t make it complicated, just ask and let her take the lead from there.
When feeling insecure or in doubt, fake it. Fake the confidence and it will eventually become sincere. Talk to her like she’s just any average chick, not someone you want to date. Keep the confidence, make jokes, etc. When you notice her body language encouraging you, move in for the kill.
If you aren’t attuned to body language I’d encourage you to read “Superflirt,” by Tracey Cox. It’s an awesome book that is about more than just flirting. It really helps you interpret and become aware of your own body language and the body language of others. That kind of info is an amazing tool in the dating world, or even in the world of business and everyday life.
As it happens, there is a Starbucks and a Panera Bread nearby.
Thanks all!
When I was in college, I asked a few ladies out. I did like them, and was trying to figure out a way to say it, but I could never quite get the words out.
I’m not sure asking outright is the thing to do. She might be more interested/less creeped out if you ask her coworkers about her (like if she has a boyfriend). That way you can still pretend she doesn’t know you’re interested the next time you see her (at which point she’ll either get flirty if she’s interested or turn cold if she’s not).
Respectfully disagreeing here. When I was dating, I HATED HATED HATED this approach and was certainly more creeped out by it than less. It’s very junior high.
Having said that, another really creepy thing is if you invite her, she declines, but you keep coming back anyway and giving her hangdog looks.
I say just ask her! Even if she says no for whatever reason, I bet you make her day. You can chalk it up as a good deed as well as good practice.
But what is she in? High school? I know things work differently in different places, but when I was in school and working at a store, I had quite a few guys approach me and ask me out.
I turned down every one. It wasn’t just that people my age didn’t go on Archie comic-style dates, but I had no interest in sitting face-to-face with someone I didn’t know and whose only interest in me was obviously physical (since we had never spoken previously).
If the OP and the girl have friends in common (from school, maybe), or if he comes in with friends, it’ll show that he’s non-threatening and at least one other person can stand him.
I agree. I think it would be better if the OP can try to find a way to get to know her just a little bit from small talk first before trying to ask her out.
