If you are a man, and someone remarked about your physical appearance, “You would be a very pretty woman - if you were a woman”…or, if you’re a woman, and someone commented about your physical appearance, “You would be a very handsome man - if you were a man” - what would you think? :dubious:
(Assuming that you and this person are both heterosexual.)
I would think they need glasses or they are mentally ill because there is no way to look at me and form that thought.
I would reply “And you would be a very nice person if you wouldn’t say completely bizarre things” and then I’d walk away.
As I always do, I would judge the person not by the words, but by my impression of the person’s good intentions and sincerity. I would then regard it as one person’s opinion, which experience has taught me is not always indicative of any general truth.
It would also depend on whether “someone” is a close friend or a complete stranger. And how friendly the social environment is at the time.
As Jtur88 suggests, I’d try to judge it by the spirit of the utterance. If I figure they were trying to be nice, then that’s cool: they meant a compliment.
(And, hey, why not? I got bigger boobs than my mom’s. Ol’ Minnesota Flats… And, come to think of it, my mom was a better man than my dad was. So, go figure.)
They are telling you that you look too pretty to be a male if you’re a fellow) and that you’re ugly as sin (if you’re a woman).
Depending upon who is telling you this stuff, you can either laugh out loud, or punch them in the gob.
Why on earth should this matter? :dubious:
I would assume they are weird and a little rude and probably try not to associate with them. Many people would find that insulting.
I would say “Thank You”, then walk away and think the person was a bit odd for saying such a thing.
Rather than “assume both parties are heterosexual” I want to ask are both parties cis gender? That is more pertinent than sexuality.
My stepson was assigned female at birth. He looks exactly like his dad. When I first saw his high school prom picture, all I could see was my partner at age 17 in a little black dress. Or know what my “stepdaughter” would look like as an unhappy 40 year old man.
Fortunately, he is now out and in the process of transitioning to male. He is a good looking young man. I will not have to see that “help me I am dying inside” look on his face. Even at his at his Grandfather’s funeral he did not look as miserable as he did at his high school prom.
But for 99% of the times presented in the OP I would think it was an odd thing to say, and shrug it off.
Sort of related to the OP: Back in college I worked part-time in the college bookstore. Frequently, there would be a college girl shopping for a t-shirt or sweatshirt for her brother, boyfriend, etc. and would come up to me with an item of clothing and ask “If you were a guy, would you wear this?” And I would give them my best :dubious: and say 'IF I was a guy?"
As a male I would take that as a great complement. If I were a woman… I probably wouldn’t.
I would get in their face and yell at them to stop body-shaming me.
I actually do think that I would have been a rather comely woman, had I been a woman. So I would say “thank you”.
On the other hand, saying to a woman that she would have made a very handsome man sounds like some kind of weird insult.
In isolation from a stranger this comes across as rude. It’s like they’re saying you aren’t pretty enough as your own gender and can only be pretty as the opposite gender. They don’t know anything about me so I take the statement as a normal person would, because that’s the assumption it was said in.
From my friends it’s a very sincere compliment, because they know me. Life is strange like that.
I think the only conclusion you could come up with is that person is doing their best to throw a veiled insult you’re way. Any “man” who would make a “pretty woman” is supposedly accused of looking gay and a woman who would make a “handsome man” is supposedly accused of looking lesbian.
That would be my take on it.
“Thanks. You’d be a genius if you weren’t a moron.”
All you can really do is rub your nipples, lick your lips, and walk away with a little extra swing in your backyard.
Years ago I had made a self-deprecating comment and got “I’m sure you were cute when you were a baby”.
I’m sure I would say exactly:
“Thanks…I think.” and then laugh.