Tempted to slip a self-aggrandizement statement into a conversation?
Don’t.
I have insecure family members who say stuff like that. (I try to keep my cringing internal, but I just know I’m going to flinch in 3D one of these days…)
Yikes. Fair, and that’s a fair point, that while men might not be assumed to be nice, it’s really rare than anyone* has the fucking gall to tell us to be nice.
- mods excepted
Or assume that boobs mean you have fewer brain cells - and basically tell you that - “you don’t know what you are talking about” or “let me explain.” Or assume that because you are older than 30 and carrying a few extra pounds you can’t be gorgeous (men seem to give their unsolicited opinion on a woman’s looks all the time - if she gives her unsolicited opinion on her own looks back…). Or…well, in general, men don’t have to make self-affirming statements because your awesomeness is self evident and usually not undermined (which does make it annoying when men spend time telling you how great they are).
ETA: If you are dealing with a unrepentant mansplainer - explaining to him that you have expertise in the field, even demonstrating that expertise, is too complicated to break through his veil of superior knowledge. You have to actually say “I’m actually intellegent and I know something about this.”
That’s what I was going to say… they may be true, but what’s the point in saying them out loud?
I mean, I AM handsome and intelligent (or so I’ve been told), but why would I go around saying it? It’s either evident from looking at me or talking to me or it’s not, in which case me saying it isn’t going to change anyone’s opinion, and in any event is liable to make me look like an ass.
The only situation I can think of where I would consider it is when people treat me like I’m stupid because I’m big and tall and have a deep voice. Every now and again, something like “I’m not stupid, you know” goes a long way to resetting their expectations of me.
Mmmmmm. I would say I’ve used the first two on occasion, almost always in the process of applying sarcasm to another party. For example, “I’m a nice guy, so I’m not going to call you an idiot, but this is why you are sure acting/talking/etc about one.” Or, “I’m very intelligent, but I can’t understand the drivel you’re spewing, could you explain using facts rather than emotions?”
And no, I generally even so don’t feel good about myself after saying those things. This is my sort of response to outright rage-inducing levels of stupidity, bigotry, and the like, and I’ve pretty much already written off the other party in the ‘discussion’ whether online or IRL.
As for the second two comments, well, “I’m gorgeous” doesn’t apply (and for most people is suspect or self-evident), and 90% of the time “I’m not racist” is either prefaced or followed by something insanely racist in absolute or relative sense.
For that matter, as years have gone by, I feel I have a lot of racism (or other forms of discrimination, such as against the LGBTQ spectrum) boiled into my cultural and world view, just as a product of my age. Thankfully, in general I’m aware of it, and try not to let it affect my judgement. To say I’m not at all racist would be a false statement. Saying “I’m trying not to be racist” is more accurate, but would be a humblebrag at best, and demeaning to the issues at hand in most circumstances.
I agree with @dangerosa that there are times when you really do just have to assert yourself, and that it can be a complicated thing.
There are also times when I am talking about interpersonal stuff and I may say something like “I like to think of myself as X sort of person” or “I’ve worked really hard to be [Y]”. Like, I was explaining to someone the other day that “I work really hard to remember to solicit opinions in a meeting”, but that "Zoom made it nearly impossible to tell if people thought I was “being inclusive” or “nagging the shit out of them”. So in that context, I basically said “I am good at being inclusive”, but it was relevant. I’ve also said “I like to think my students see me as trustworthy” or things like that.
Basically, yes, I say things like this, because I agree with dangerosa that sometimes you need to, but I always put “wiggle words” around them, because I agree with everyone else that it can come across as either self-aggrandizing or spectacularly clueless.
LOL, I agree, there are times when it is appropriate to do this, but according to my upbringing, only in such circumstances as you describe. And you’re right that it goes both ways.
I once dated a man who was so cut and good looking that women stopped dead in their tracks to look at him. He actually became a meme (before there were memes) with an old Compu$erve CB channel I belonged to back in the day, when we attended an international gathering together. To this day, there are women from that community who will say his name and everyone knows who and what they’re talking about. 
I committed the very offense you mention with him. We were having coffee. I was describing the plot of a book I’d recently read.
He said, “Oh, I read that, too.”
I responded without thinking (obviously), “You read?”
The look he gave me was withering, and deservedly so. I felt like 2 cents waiting for change as I realized the misandry I’d visited on him with no basis whatsoever. I had the decency to blush.
Learned my lesson and have never made that mistake again.
I think that, even in those situations described by others, I’d hedge a bit to not seem conceited. I would preface statements with stuff like “I try to be a nice guy” or “I’m not exactly unintelligent.” Though I admit I’m more likely to encounter situations where I have to go the other way: “I’m not always the nicest guy, but even I would never do that” or “There are plenty people who are smarter than me, but even I know better.”
The one thing I do say that I’m sometimes concerned may come off as arrogant is my claim “I don’t lie.” The point is for there to be no hedging there, and to show my distaste for lying. But I am sometimes concerned it comes off as “holier-than-thou.” Plus it’s not like I don’t hedge things to spare people’s feelings it simplify things, both hinges that some people seem to consider lying.
I’m a very good driver. Definitely.
I think people give limited credence to such statements. I think egotistical people probably make these statements often. I suspect everybody makes these types of statements occasionally, so if said once I would not attach much weight to it. Such statements carry more weight in the Trumpian form of “a lot of people are saying…” - or at least they used to.
Congrats for first, and IMO so far best, use of the HumbleInverseBrag maneuver. 
Me, I’m pretty amazing at parallel parking. And I’ve got my proof (and some little anecdotes to back it up), all ready to tell people. So I spend most of every party I’ve been to since 1973 waiting for the right moment…
…but the right conversation’s never come up.
…
Just what I’d expect someone like you to say… So I won’t bother to ask you about the missing family silver. I’ll let the local constabulary deal with the likes of you.
Hey, I resemble that remark! 
Let’s see if I can string them all together.
“Because I’m so nice, I’m not at all racist about those people who can’t acknowledge how beautiful and intelligent I am.”
&
“And I’m not just saying that because I’m egotistical.”
Good to know. 
You pretty much have to express self-congratulatory opinions when interviewing for a job.
Me, I’m better at expressing such opinions than just about anybody. 
I’ve wondered what it must be like to be on the admissions committee at Harvard. You’re reading something like 100,000 self-flattering self-promoting self-exalting admission essays and why-you-should-pick-the-great-Me letters. Must get nauseating.
Do I have a weakness? Yes. I work a little too hard. I’m a little bit too dedicated.
Any of the four could be fine or not fine, depemding the flow of the conversation.
Good way of not getting a job if someone were interviewing with me. I would much rather hear “Oh, I built a 20,000 line piece of software in two weeks that saved my old company a million bucks - it was nothing.”
Good grief, this whole question gives me the shivers. I’m British, we are raised to denigrate our personal attributes and achievements from birth, and cringe at receiving any compliments.
The whole concept of talking yourself up gives me the collywobbles. Do people, other than Trump, actually do that?