For those old-fashioned gals like me who like to be wooed gently, the new line is a huge disappointment. The first one has a nice use of imagery and shows that you are a thoughtful gentleman who knows what a lady likes and is prepared to take the time to make sure she gets it. It implies a well-read cosmopolitan man-about-town, a veritable Cary Grant.
I certainly know which line would get me doing the happy larva dance.
Barret Bonden I’d like to introduce you to Mrs. Cake. Don’t let the name fool you though, she’s happily single and just waiting to do some squirming with the right guy. You are that guy, now go to it!
You should definitely go with “Tickle your ass with a feather?”
That way, if she objects strenuously or even comes back with “What?” you can always fall back and say “Um, really nice weather?”
I had a friend in college who’s championship line was like that mentioned earlier; “Yawanna screw?” And he was noting special in the looks department. Amazingly, about half the time he got slapped and the other half he was taken up on his lecherous offer.
It is amazing to me that any of these lines work.
Of course, I have NEVER been successful trying to pickup a woman at a bar.
Of course, there was that massive 27 year lacuna when I was married and never tried, but still…
“Are these real” accompanied by a grab of the breasts sets you up well for the follow up compliment. Regardless of the answer, you provide the appropriate compliment and follow it with the proposition.
(I’ve told this story before, but the best pickup line I ever got was they guy who looked at my male friend and said “is she taken?”. Every woman wants to be treated like a seat on thoe 16a.
I guess sexual assault is kind of a pickup line.
I wait until I notice a woman checking me out and then yell at her, “What the fuck are you looking at?”
No real success yet.
I’m not aware that it ever worked for him. I’m surprised he didn’t get his ass kicked more often, though. He was a little runt of a guy, so perhaps nobody took him seriously.
Is this a joke thread that everyone’s in on except me? How does denigrating and treating someone you just met like a castaway human sperm receptacle ever work?
Your sense of humor is broken. Anyone suggesting a pick-up line is doing so with their tongue firmly planted in cheek and everyone else is telling stories about people they know that have actually used these lines and how badly they fail.
I never found pickup lines necessary. Indeed, they’re all rather crude. Me, I just used to look longingly at the lady and lick my eyebrows.
I’m really not this tall. I’m sitting on my wallet.
Best pickup line that ever worked on me. Back in the day, I walked into one Bangkok bar, where a naked lady jumped in front of me and commanded: “Fuck me! Now!”
You didn’t ask her to buy you dinner first?
I dined at the Y. 
omg!
Take.
Me.
Now!
I’m not sure Cary Grant would have actually said “happy larva dance.”
Living in an area that is 98% white, I used to get a kick out of a black friend of mine. He would say, “How’d you like to do some roads?” The response would usually be, “Huh?” and he’d say, “Just lay down, and I"ll blacktop you.”
The famous line employed by Ezekiel Bradbury Marston, III: “Me lay, you lay?”
(anyone recognize the reference?)
I can beat that.
Girl in hot pants and a tank top leans into the car window on Roosevelt Avenue.
“I’ll do anything you want for fifty dollars.”
“Paint my house.”