Well, that can certainly explain a lot. FWIW, I don’t think the absence of never having had a crush (or even being incapable of having one) is worth any pity. Truly there are negative sides to crushes/infatuation as have been pointed out.
If you boil it down, crushes are deeply emotionally and/or sexually fueled temporary desires toward another. Not necessary at all for “love”, or having a rich, rewarding relationship, that’s something else entirely. But starting a lasting relationship with a crush certatainly doesn’t hurt.
Oh, I hope my words weren’t seen as insulting or as pity. I didn’t mean them in either of those two ways.
I too worry that I am going to lose my mind someday. I worry that there will come a time when I get too tired or ill to fight the good fight anymore. When medicine can help me not have a panic attack, I gladly take it, but I didn’t always feel that way. Plus, I should have been more clear with my use of the word Medicine. I think counseling can be Medicine.
But, crushes are not the only emotion I would wish you could experience. And by you, I mean everyone. I wouldn’t go so far as to wish intense grief on anyone, but even that horrid feeling can be a learning and growing experience. That’s not to say that I haven’t given thought to would we as a species be better off if none of us ever had any emotions. I can see an argument for that.
But in the end, without emotions, we’re nothing more than machines. So which is better?
Anyway, please tell me I didn’t offend you. I worry about that and struggle to find tone in my posts. Without smilies, cause I know a lot of dopers frown on the use of those.
The last segment of today’s “This American Life” was very timely. A Mormon guy having an unrequited crush on another Mormon guy. It kind of put a fine point on why it’s called “crush”.
No offense taken. Honestly. I do find it strange that everyone’s saying they feel sorry that I’ve never had a crush…but then turn around and say how messed-up they can make you feel. But I’m not offended.
As you say, there are advantages to not being so sensitive and emotional. I do wish I wasn’t quite like this, but I wouldn’t trade my current state for the opposite extreme for a trillion dollars.
Word. And I say this as someone who’s an open book except in romantic relationships, in which I am extremely emotionally guarded because seriously, fuck having my heart broken. Even so, crushes are so maddeningly fun and sweet that they’re even worth it if not returned.
I’ve done the love and relationship bit a few times, and it always has started off as a crush for me first. Most of my crushers, though, have gone nowhere. I currently have decided to take seriously a schoolgirl crush on a 23 year old boy. It’s ridiculous. I have zero desire to be in a relationship with anyone that age, and I’d feel like a total creepshow bedding him. But he is oh-so adorable. I’d be fine if I just got to kiss him once. sigh
I’ve even had internet crushes, which are beyond silly and stupid, but still fun. But the less said about that, the better…
It’s interesting to me how fast my crushes can end.
It’s like one day I see the object of my former desire and think “What exactly was it that I was seeing there?”
I had a horrible crush on a married coworker once. It really made me miserable. There were about 10 other guys there that were obviously crushing on her too, that made it worse. That one never really ended, the company went under and I never saw her again.
I have a couple celebrity crushes going at any particular time.
For a pretty typical guy, I can be as stoic as a Vulcan. But alas, I’m forever vulnerable to my own irrational desires. Some days it takes the will of a thousand Buddhas to squelch the piercing crys of my wants. I’d say while I wouldn’t want these emotions erased from my life, there are days I wish I could just flip a switch to turn it off.
I guess, consider yourself lucky that you don’t know what your missing, as when it’s sweet… It’s sweeeeeet. But when it’s not, it crushes.
See what I did there? I used the word ‘crushes’ at the end. I thought of doing that all by myself, too.
OMG, MeanOldLady quoted one of my posts! Maybe I’m one of her Internet crushes. I dare to dream, but probably not.
Seriously, I don’t see how Internet crushes are sillier or stupider than celebrity crushes. Am I the only one that can admit to having a small harem of SDMB mini-crushes over the years?
I don’t think e-crushes are any sillier than celebrity crushes; they’re both completely ridiculous, and I typically don’t have either one. I don’t think I’ve had a celebrity crush since I was in high school. I’ve actually only had two net crushes ever, one of which is ongoing, and the idea makes me feel like a total ass. I should stick to crushing on a ridiculously young (and cute!) 23 year old boys, as my odds with making out with them are far more realistic. But seriously, damn, why can’t he be 35 or something?
Yeah… Unlike IMs where there’s a lot of focused back and forth with one person, I have trouble wrapping my mind around there being real people behind screen names, so I haven’t had any real SDMB crushes.
You don’t associate personalities with screen names? With Arnold’s Portrait Gallery, you can even associate names with faces! I have no trouble seeing the real people that make up this board.
I like to eat eggs. I also think I have gone totally mental. Is it ok to call a crazy person crazy? even if that person is yourself?
My name is Chipacabra, and I left my computer on, and logged in, in a public space.
I am happily married and currently have two extramarital crushes. One is on a celebrity (only my second ever celebrity crush). When my crush does sex scenes, my husband will offer to rewind so I can see it again.
The other one (probably my fourth or fifth during the 15ish years i’ve been with my husband) is just this random man I met for about 5 minutes a few months ago. As has been described, I have irrationally become convinced that he is perfect in every way. I would hate to ever run into him again as the illusion would start to crumble, and I don’t especially want it to.
