I don’t want to hijack this thread, especially since it’s my own. It concerns a friend of mine, a gay man, who has developed ED (erectile dysfunction).
There’s a distinction that I was never quite aware of before, that my friend has clarified for me. Having an erection, in and of itself, is not pleasurable.
There are two things at work here: There is the blood that enters the penis and causes the erection. There are also the nerve endings that provide us with pleasure. I never thought of these as two separate (but usually related) phenomena. What my friend has told me is that, even though he no longer gets an erection, he has no problem having an orgasm, with the right stimulation. The nerve endings are still working, and the stimulation feels exactly the same as it always did.
What this means is that, instead of penetrating his partner anally, as he always had before, his partner now performs oral sex on him. And from his own point of view, he’s not even aware that there’s no erection. Blow jobs and orgasms feel just as good as they always had. It only feels different to his partner.
I don’t know why this had never occurred to me. We men are so accustomed to equating stimulus and pleasure with an erection, we just assume that without the erection there is no pleasure. Apparently, nothing can be further from the truth.
But of course he now has to use alternative ways of satisfying his partner. But that’s a different issue.
I know, anecdotally at least, that some women have a thing for penetration and play with flaccid or semi-erect penises (despite the myriad synonyms for ‘hard’ in erotica).
I disagree with Dio in the original thread. I find erections to be fairly pleasurable even without stimulation. The throbbing in and of itself is fun and increases the tension. Plus you can flex for some added “oomph” which can send a chill up your spine.
I’ve had 2-3 orgasms in my life when I was at half mast or maybe less because I was using the good old pinch and delay method and went a little too far too quickly after an extended session. I did not find them as satisfying as when it’s at full mast. And when I did that I pretty much sprung up anyway like an automatic (but delayed) reaction. It felt weird but not overly objectionable.
Next thread topic that will blow people away: ejaculation and orgasm are two completely different processes which with practice and dedication can be separated with conscious control. This can lead to a LOT of fun party tricks and maybe some lucrative bets. Unfortunately I don’t have the will power. Plus I’m always afraid of screwing up and going in the wrong order (see “ruined orgasm” or “draining”).