A guy being actively A-OK with not having sex, or anything beyond some kissing, is way too religious for you, asexual, or very deeply in the closet. None of these is good for your situation. (Turns out it was the last possibility.)
In my case: If you’re a devout Jew and fall for an agnostic, don’t assume you can just work around it.
FWIW, I had to go through that to understand how important “devout Jewess” was to me. Then I found said devout Jewess. 
Crazy, smart, beautiful, and fascinating in equal measures is a wonderful cocktail. But in the end, the crazy always overpowers.
If you can’t fart in front of eachother, it is not going to work out in the long run.
If you find yourself refraining from using multisylabic words because it makes him feel stupid, you are not compatible.
Any kind of victim mentality (blaming the world for his own problems, while taking no personal responsibilty)… RUN!
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Don’t date someone who isn’t as smart/talented as you (or is way more smart/talented than you). It can be in a different area of expertise, but someone far enough away in magnitude in either direction just won’t work.
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A partner is not an emotional tampon. Taking out your frustrations on them leaves you rightfully dumped and having hurt someone you care about.
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A man who is more interested in being cruel to his enemy than kind to you will end up being cruel to you as well.
[quote=“raspberry_hunter, post:57, topic:577452”]
U … Never date a guy who has a significantly different sense of humor than you. /QUOTE]
Worse yet, never even think about getting into a relationship with a person who basically does not have a sense of humor. Talk about ships passing in the night …
Being wanted is great. Being needed sucks.
I’m not able to parse this. Are you disputing that he converted, or that you did? (And if he was trying to convert you, why was he studying your religion?)
Neither of us converted. Before we got married, he read up on my religion and watched a couple of rituals to make sure that I wasn’t too “weird” for him. (I am, for lack of a better term, Wiccan.) He decided he was ok with my religious bent, but just the same, in order to maintain his parents’ positive opinion of me, he insisted I pack away all of my religious books and paraphernalia, as we lived in a very small house, and his parents visited often. For some reason, because my belongings were packed away in the rafters in the garage and he no longer saw me actively performing rituals like the ones he asked to watch, he decided that meant I had given up my childish devotion to “witchcraft” and had, instead, returned to the Christian roots that I was brought up with. He was brought up in an actively church-going family, and when questioned by his mother, assured her that I was Christian, and we would teach our son about Jesus.
When he and I talked about it later, I tried to explain that I was not sure I was comfortable with him blatantly lying to his parents, and he was truly mystified. He honestly believed that, after explaining his personal religious views to me, I would simply adopt them as my own.
I guess it just came down to him being a bit clueless about who I am and being convinced that he could make me who he wanted me to be.
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You probably find mean girls hot because your formative years were filled with girls being mean to you. Hot does not a good relationship make.
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Don’t date someone who claims to be deeply religious when you yourself are solidly agnostic.
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If you date someone who immediately severs their ties with all other friends and clings to you solely, run as fast as you freakin’ can.
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Share your kinks. Neither of you wants surprises.
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Once a cheater, always a cheater.
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You know you have a type - don’t marry the opposite.
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Fight for yourself, goddamnit. Don’t let your fear of confrontation rip your self worth apart.
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Tell the truth, always, even when you know it will piss them off.
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If they hate the things you are passionate about, it will never work out.
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If they have no passions of their own, but aren’t interested in yours, yours will only breed resentment.
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Just because she’s a good mom, doesn’t mean she’s a good spouse.
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Never trust someone who says they don’t want to use lawyers. They are just using the time to get a better lawyer first.
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If you stop having sex for months at a time, you know its a dealbreaker. Be done with it.
Jeez, I could go on and on…
And the corollary – there’s a difference between fascinating and crazy. Learn it.
[quote=“Kobal2, post:49, topic:577452”]
Then again, keeping your shit to yourself and not opening up is a sure way to never love again. Loving implies leaving oneself vulnerable for that oh so lovable amount of pain right in the soul. Ain’t that a bitch and a half ?
Oh believe me it goes against every aspect of my character. I’m in pain right now and sadder than I remember ever being. There are times when I put my hand against my heart and I could swear that it actually “hurts.” It’s a long story…
Yep, it’s a bitch and a half as you put it. Time may change things…it has to.
My comment has nothing to do with my philosophy about dating. It was a quick reaction to the question which in retrospect I shouldn’t have answered as I did. I don’t lie to people whom I love, if anything…I say too much about how I’m feeling and feel about them.
The slide to abuse can be incredibly subtle. If you find yourself constantly on the defense, run.
Sometimes the guy/girl we picture ourselves being with isn’t the one who is best for us. A man can be perfect on paper and not right for us in the end.
That doesn’t really change anything that I said, however. If you (general ‘you’) are not in a good emotional place to date, temporarily or otherwise, don’t date. You are pretty much by default leading on your partner, who has no way of knowing til some weeks or months down the road that you’re not planning to be present in the relationship or reciprocate what they give, ever.
If you’ve got some personal shit to work on, work on it yourself. Your partner is neither your therapist nor a band-aid, but a human being who doesn’t deserve to be used in that way.
There are way too many people who just “date by default” with NO regard to whether they’re really in an appropriate emotional space to be dating. Those are people who really need to grow up and take some responsibility for themselves. You can’t involve another person and still have it be All About You.
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There is no such thing as “let take some time apart from each other to work on this relationship”. When you pack your bags and leave…just leave for good.
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Please dump a man who suffers from Bipolar Disorder and doesn’t believe in medications and thinks he is Captain Kirk and that he should save the Enterprise on date night. I have nothing against being with someone who suffers from a mental illness, but please take care of yourself first if you want to be in a relationship.
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A man who repeatedly leaves roses or your car at 2 am but refuses to pick up the phone and call you is a creep.
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Get a clue and run from a man who wants to break up with you because you refuse to * talk* to a stray cat. :eek:
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If he can’t deal with the fact the you make more money than him or if you are more (academically) educated than him…eventually he will find numerous other things about you that he can pick on. Walk away before that happens because he doesn’t like the fact that you are smart and capable.
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A superficial as this may sound, when you stop finding him physically attractive, it’s over. There are only so many excuses you can make for not wanting to have sex with him.
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Being the “other woman” is not my thing.
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One night stands should just just be that…one night stands. No long lasting relationships can come out of that.
And I agree…dopers DO make the best partners. 
Originally Posted by lacortadora
My comment has nothing to do with my philosophy about dating. It was a quick reaction to the question which in retrospect I shouldn’t have answered as I did. I don’t lie to people whom I love, if anything…I say too much about how I’m feeling and feel about them.
Kaio, well…it’s like this: When you have a book that is missing most of its pages, it is really hard to discuss it with much accuracy. You are missing most of the “pages.” Thanks for your input though. Have a good one!
No, actually, I have dated guys who did exactly this. And now they are exes, for obvious reasons. Hence what I have learned from them.
If a woman wants to leave you then let her go. She is doing you a favor.
Certainly never let her talk you into letting her come back.
If you do let her come back don’t for gods sake let her do it three times.
The right one is out there and you are wasting your time with complete wastes of time.
She really is out there. 27 years now.
If the two of you are going on a week long vacation, make sure you arrange it around, as George Carlin once put it, those delightful few days she has every month.