-If you two have similar interests/hobbies, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll have a compatible relationship. Dont base a relationship around the fact that you both like the same cartoon/webcomic/RPG game, because it’ll have you overlooking some very big, crimson flags in other departments.
-Do not allow someone to convince yourself why you don’t feel sexually attracted to them, i.e. “You’re not into me physically because the media has brainwashed you into believing my body type is unappealing”. No, I find you unappealing because I find my gut reaction to sex with you to simply be Meh. Pure and simple.
-Along those lines, you can’t force someone to decide to be attracted to you, nor can they force you to be attracted to them. If you enjoy their company but the idea of a relationship with them is akin to willingly joining Scientology, then you have a friendship, but don’t try to squeeze more desire for them than you already have.
-Its said that fat chicks give good head. I have found this yarn to be inconsistent.
I’m moody and unhappy when stressed. I can’t not be. Mr. Sali has adjusted to it, he by some miracle takes note of this and says, ‘oh, you were at your mother’s today, weren’t you?’ 9 times out of 10 - yes, yes I was.
when someone says they want to break up, after a reasonable post-game discussion*, you have to accept it. You can’t whine, nag, cry, and demand to know WHY why why, oh, whyyyyy do you want to break up with meeeee???
I think you have to be mature enough to HAVE a post-game discussion. Just suddenly dumping your boyfriend or girlfriend without any warning, just cutting them off just like that, is cruel and middle-schoolish. Contrary to all those high school shows (starring 25 year olds) who get into all kinds of stuff and talk and talk and pitch fits and major drama - it’s more likely somebody will get dumped and cut off IRL. Because they can’t think what to say and just want to pretend they never knew you, I guess.
Generally: When your deeply held religious beliefs clash badly with their deeply held religious beliefs, it Ain’t Gonna Work Out. Doubly so if exactly one of you is strongly atheist or agnostic.
Corollary: If YOU sever ties with your friends and cling solely to your date, go get help with your issues. Right now.
If you broke up with her, don’t go back either. Especially don’t let her mom get you a job at the university she teaches at–you will end up in a very, very weird place by the end of THAT internship.
…I’m over 25, and have at least two dozen stuffed animals. In a nice curio cabinet. Also, I’m male.
Let’s see.
GF1: Wildly different religions are occasionally workable. Wildly different worldviews are not. (or, “Don’t date the girl who’s too fundamentalist to dance”)
GF2: “Hey, can you go hit on her so she’ll leave me the hell alone? Thanks, man.” is not a viable basis for a relationship in any circumstances, even if you SEEM to hit it off.
GF3: If she’s got a stack of Soap Opera Digest taller than her desk, she MAY not be able to provide the kind of stimulating conversation you are looking for.
GF4: There is no clearer day-to-day indication of insanity than having a bright monochromatic outfit for every day of the week. (Monday: Yellow sweatpants, yellow t-shirt, yellow socks. Tuesday: Pink, pink, pink. Wednesday: Teal, teal, teal. Etc.)
GF5: “Drunken oral sex booty call” is not a great basis on which to start an actual relationship, either.
GF6 was some sort of experience in fractal cheating–she’d get depressed because the guy she was cheating on me with was cheating on her, while HIS girlfriend was hitting on me. Just…wow.
I’ve never heard the term “fractal cheating” before. I think it’s the correct term for the situation you describe.
I tried parsing your situation, but that made my understanding worse. I fear that working out mathematically a “fractal cheating” scenario involves imaginary numbers and multivariable calculus.
GF6, well, let’s say she was the kind of girl that, when I broke up with her, she ended up in bed that night with the long-haul Greyhound driver who was driving her last leg home.
The funny part is I’m poly now. Heck, we were in an open long-distance relationship then–the problem was, we were supposedly only open when we were each at home (where she didn’t sleep with anyone) and closed for the duration of any visit (wherein she’d say goodbye to me, get dropped off at the bus station, then leave there and go fuck one of my acquaintances before taking the bus after the one I thought she was on.)
Oh how I wish this had been true in my case. Both of my fathers-in-law have been kind, funny, upstanding, hard-working guys all of their lives. I think watching how a man treats his mother has turned out to have been a more accurate predictor in my life.
Don’t invite someone to come stay with you for the weekend and expect her to not to think sex will happen. And just because she takes your side in a conflict doesn’t mean she isn’t a bitch to everyone else.
True, but the same can also be said of being of similar temperaments. If there’s little to no ying to your yang, things have a way of existing just for the sake of existing.
– Don’t live in my pocket. Don’t call me every second when we’re apart. In other words, don’t make your whole life ME. Show a bit of independence.
– I am not just the place where to put your dick. And if by chance I am and only that, then go ahead, admit it: I’m the booty call. Don’t try convincing me it’s anything more than that.
– If you’ve got issues with your parents, there’s probably a reason, and it doesn’t necessarily have to do with them solely.
– If you cannot manage your own finances, STAY THE HELL AWAY.
– There’s a whole wide world out there to explore. Why you insist on cloistering yourself with name-your-obsessive-interest here is beyond me, especially when you think I’m going to join you. Because I won’t.
I’ve also come to realize that the exes I chose were directly linked to what little self-worth I had at the time. In other words…if you don’t think you deserve better, you ain’t gonna get it.
