In conducting research for some other threads about the PUA movement and INCELS, I came across a number of videos related to number of sexual partners. A few data points (I’m not going to bother finding the links, so take them as you will):
Average number of sex partners for high school grads: 3
Average lifetime number for men: 7 (often said in a derisive context)
Estimated lifetime sex partners for Gene Simmons from Kiss: over 5000
Estimated lifetime sex partners for Mick Jagger: over 8000
22% of men have had more than 20 sex partners
Many of the videos presented people who look under 30 with 15 to 50 sex partners as fairly typical
I suppose there is no “right number”, but it seems to me (at least the way the media presents it) there is some ideal number or range where too few, you are not considered “experienced” enough (whatever that means) and too many is kind of gross.
I’d say the most reasonable number is one’s own number. Any fewer and the person is an inexperienced loser; any more and the person is out of control.
That’s a jokey answer of course, and more from a traditional male perspective. The real answer is, there’s no ‘reasonable’ number. Someone might find their perfect match life partner early in life, and stop at a few, or just the one. And good for them! Others might enjoy playing the field for awhile (responsibly, hopefully) until they settle down.
My own personal number, in case anyone cares (57 yo hetero male, happily married so I don’t expect my number to ever change, for the record):
Somewhere between ‘Average lifetime number for men’ and ‘Estimated lifetime sex partners for Mick Jagger’.
I would perhaps have liked mine to be higher, but it would have required me to have a different personality and sex drive, so maybe not. Other than that I concur with the “there’s no right number crowd”.
I absolutely hate the “too many/too few sexual partners”-trope, but not as much as I hate the “I haven’t had sex in months”-trope.
How much fun you have with the partner(s) you do have is a much better metric. Even if the only partners you have ever had are Mrs Palm and her five daughters.
What people report and what they actually did are often two drastically different things. People who think the number matters, in either direction, are very likely to lie about it.
The right number of partners is going to vary with the individual, and may be anywhere from (and including) none at all to many. I’m not going to put a figure on “many”; except to say that I very much doubt anyone who actually has hundreds, let alone thousands, of partners was paying much of any attention to most or any of them.
I suspect the sex will be better if the parties involved aren’t concerned with the body count.
There’s no meaningful answer to the OP’s question, but I think the number itself can be meaningful – depending on the circumstances and the people involved.
Hypothetical: You’re a straight woman in your 20s who’s had five partners. You become interested in a guy and the question comes up. Your assessment of him will be very different if he says “50” vs saying “five.” It doesn’t make him a bad guy, or a slut, or even necessarily wrong for you, but now you’re aware that there may be some very different values and priorities at play.
Had girlfriends in High school that happily gave me hummers and handjobs but never let me into the promised land. If they are added to those that did my HS average was well above 3.
Note: The use of the word Midget is often offensive in the current times. We encourage you to choose a less offensive term for people of small stature.
To add to What_Exit’s note, the people who have been described by that term prefer being called little people or people with dwarfism, or in some cases dwarfs (although some object to that, as well, I think.)
