I really didn’t mean for this to become a war of the sexes. I wanted to keep identities secret, so I called it “what’s wrong with guys?”
Thank you everyone that sympathized with me. Unfortunately now I feel like I have to explain myself to everyone else.
Yes, I’ve had bad break-ups. Yes, I’m not perfect. Yes, you are all hearing my side of the story. However I am not going to lie about it, honesty thing pucky =), so you will all feel sorry for me. In fact pity or sympathy was not my goal, it was just trying to figure out what happened.
I was stupid, I fell in love when I knew better. I wish things had ended differently, like him not hating me cause he feels guilty. Like me not feeling like I’m stupid and worthless because I could so easily be replaced.
To sum up:
There are women out there that are evil and have screwed over guys who didn’t deserve it.
There are men out there who are assholes and unnecessarily hurt women.
As far as the definition of honesty… that is way beyond my ability to explain in a way that would make everyone happy.
And for the record I do not hate men. So any services offered… =)
Sorry, but I have more to say! I was thinking about it and I know that I’m responding to a point made way back but some of us have to work =)
If I ask a guy: “Does this dress make me look fat”
I want an honest answer damn it. I do not want to be placated and told I look great if I don’t. I don’t want to be the beached whale in a bikini, that everyone comments on, cause noone had the guts to tell me I looked like shit.
Honesty may be hard but I think that people should try to apply it whan asked. Yes plucky, I am being hippocritical (insert laugh here). Many a time have I told my aquaintances (but never my friends) that they look great when in actuality they look less than good.
Sometimes honesty is good sometimes it isn’t. I expect a guy to talk to me if he is unhappy with, say for instance, our sex life; not just break up with me. However, if he does then I do not want to hear “you were lousy in bed”, even though that may be the truth. I think that is where tact comes in.
To bring it back to me (cause that is what this thread is supposed to revolve around). “He” did not have to initiate any conversation about his feelings for me. Merely respond honestly to my question of “Are you just waiting for me to leave so you can date someone else? cause you don’t want to hurt me by breaking up with me?” This is where he should have said “actually now that you mention it…” instead of “No, I couldn’t do that.” Then start dating “her” less than a week after I’m gone.
Okay, it’s out of my system. You may resume the bickering about shallow women.
You don’t read the posts too closely, do you Pucky?
and
Did you even read my posts? You wrote:
No, dude, i’m one of those men who get annoyed when you make sweeping generalizations, because i don’t want women to think that all of us are as big a dickhead as you are.
And, yes, i did see your wonderfully quirky Sir Galahad reference, but i figured that if you couldn’t work out my sex from the way the sentences were constructed, you weren’t worth bothering about.
Oh, and regarding the claims i made about women’s employment, which were that “women still make up a disproportionate percentage of low-paid employees, and often have less job security.”
This Bureau of Labor Statistics document, entitled “Women’s Earnings: An Overview,” says that, although women’s earnings have crept closer to men’s over the past few decades, by 1998 working women still averaged only 76% of working men’s earnings. Also,
Not only that, but
My assertion was not quite as accurate regarding job security. This document, entitled “Women and Jobs in Recessions,” points out that women used to do much better than men during recessions (i.e. in terms of job security) because more men were concentrated in the areas of the economy where most jobs were lost, such as industry and manufacturing. This changed somewhat as manufacturing jobs declined overall and the service and technical sectors of the workplace grew. Now, women are about as vulnerable as men during economic downturns, and evidence indicates that, in areas where men and women are paid the same money for the same work, women are likely to lose their jobs first.
I sympathize with you, Rowanashe, and I wish you happiness. I just don’t think that trying to let you down softly makes him an ogre. Being afraid of hurting your feelings might actually hurt more in the long run, but at least he wasn’t oblivious to your feelings.
FWIW, it seems like a common dating strategy to wait to the other person calls it quits. That way, both people agree it’s over.
Not yours. Just the ones that are intelligent or funny.
Ah. So the Sir Galahad remark was spot on. I stand corrected.
But dude, try to find a better way of picking up chicks than being an internet Defender of the Faith.
I’ve seen people cite the same statistics to argue the other way. Give me a day or two to track some down and I’ll get back to you.
The gist of what I recall:
[ul]
[li]when you compare total hours worked in equivalent jobs, that gap disappears. But men work longer, from an earlier age.[/li][li]women make up the majority of people in colleges today.[/li][li]however, women are over-represented in liberal-arts courses like lit and history that seldom lead to big paychecks, while men are over-represented in fields like chemistry that can lead to higher-paying jobs.[/li][/ul]
This caught my eye:
Are the figures lying or the liars figuring? How can women be likely to lose their jobs first and be “about” as vulnerable as men. Either they’re more vulnerable, or men are.
And if losing their jobs first is based on seniority, it applies to men as well.
I’m not sure what to say Pucky. I know I have issues but come on man! What happened to you? Is lying to someones face really letting them down easy? I think you maybe a bit delusional or carry some deep emothional scars about women if you think that. Of course I am a bit biased since it is me you are insulting. Regardless of whether that was intentional or not it was extremely insulting to me and my intelligence.
He obviously wasn’t a total asshole I did date him and love him for 1 1/2 years. I think what he did was extremely messed up. I have no clue why he did it like that. This is a BBQ pit for a reason. I wanted to roast him for how he made me feel. But I guess I did put my life out there so I have to deal with everyone that comments not just the ones I want to hear.
You have no problems with dishonesty. It doesn’t bother you at all!
To quote Ben Kingsley: “No, no, no, no, no!” Women wants to grub money, go to it. The example is of women who pretend to be one thing while doing another, and the money-chasing woman who pretends that’s not her goal is just one example.
No, you just read them that way because you want to, Alice.
Well, apparently about 3 other people in this thread have read them that way as well.
Sooo - this means that we’re all screaming, vigilante feminists out to point out your failings, or…perhaps you’re not particularly clear in the way you post.
First, i made it quite clear in my previous post that i already have a girlfriend, with whom i am very happy. You may look for women on the internet, but that’s not my scene.
Also, it’s indicative of your general attitude that you think that a man who makes any sort of feminist argument must be doing it just to “pick up chicks.” :rolleyes:
Again, you probably didn’t read my post, and you probably won’t read this either, but i’ll clear it up anyway. The point i was making was that, over the whole workforce, women and men were about equally secure (or insecure) in their jobs during a recession, but within certain types of employment where men and women are paid the same money for the same work, women often lose their jobs earlier (maybe for reasons of seniority that you referred to, maybe for other reasons). Is it possible that you can grasp the statistical concept that, within a general trend, there will often be particular areas or demographics that differ from the overall picture?
Hey, don’t bother. You made it quite clear that you don’t read my posts, but
I’m afraid, on this thread at least, i’m now going to return the favour.
