“Oh no, he’s got a board with a nail in it!”
How to cook Humans.
How to cook for Humans.
How to cook Forty Humans.
When Mr. Burns puts Homer’s brain into a robot body to create the perfect worker. Of course Homer’s robot just sits around eating donuts. Mr. Burns has a hysterical death scene in this one and I believe that this is the one that ends with the parody of The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant as sitcom.
My fave is ‘Bart Simpson’s Dracula’
Bart: “Hello, mother. Hello, father. I missed you during my uneventful absence.”
Mr. Burns: “More victims for my ever-growing army of the dead”!
Mr. Smithers: “Sir, you have to let go of the button”.
King Homer the King King spoof is not the best episode (that depends on the day of theweek, how much sleep I got…basically it changes cuz there are so many good oones). But it did have quite possibly the best linein any Simpsons episode. When Burns decides to take Marge on the ship to Ape Island Smithers replies:
“Sir, Women and seamen don’t mix.”
And I DID vote for Kodos!
“Marge, the doll’s tring to kill me and the toaster’s been laughing at me!”
“Guess who Fat Boy!”
“You will die slowly, your stomach will swell, your intestines will rot and boil, your eyes will burst, and some horrible stuff, and possibly your brains will come out though your nose.”
“It chose to destroy itself rather than live with us. We can’t help but feel a little rejected.”
No one’s mentioned “Nightmare on Evergreen Terrace”, with Groundskeeper Willie as Freddie Kruger?
“Brrrr…lousy Smarch weather!”
Also, even though I didn’t care for most of the “Maggie was fathered by an alien” story, the bit on the spaceship was killer funny. Paraphrased:
(Marge’s voice-over) “They used powerful confusion techniques.”
Kang: “Look behind you!”
(Marge turns; Kang zaps her very quickly with some kind of beam)
Kang: “The impregnation is complete.”
Marge: “Really? That seemed awful fast…”
Kang: “What are you implying?”
Marge: “Nothing! Nothing!”
Oh, come on spooje, you left out the best part!
Burns: “More victims for my ever-growing army of the dead!”
Smithers: “Sir, you have to let go of the button.”
Burns: “Son of a b-- [Burns lets go of the button]”
Gotta love when Homer sneezes in the toaster time traveling one, and all animal dies off, and he says the understatement of the eon: “That’s gonna cost me.”
Oh, and “But no calling between 3 and 4–that’s Willy’s time!”
I love the one where Willie appears in all the kids’ dreams and tries to kill them.
Homer reads the sign above the thermostat:
“DON’T TOUCH -WILLIE”, Homer says “Don’t touch Willie, good idea,” and cranks the thermo and fries Willie to death.
The segment where Homer keeps time traveling and ends up in different parallels when he returns to Springfield.
Homer: Can I get a donut?
Marge: What’s a donut?
Homer: Ahhhhhhhhhhh!
Meanwhile, it’s starts raining donuts. Hilarious, I tell ya!
Guy: Where we goin’?
Carl: Ape Island.
Guy: What do they got there?
Carl: A giant ape.
Lenny: I wish we were going to Candy Apple Island.
Guy: What do they got there?
Carl: Apes, but they’re not so big.
sorry if I completely trashed that one. memory is a fallible creature indeed.
jingo baby
My other favorite moment from that episode was showing how the house changes as Homer changes the past - at one point it became the Flintstones house!
I’ve got to second (actually, this is probably sixth or seventh) the “time toaster” vote. Grandpa’s wedding-day advice, the raining donuts…man, that one was funny from beginning to end.
I love the one where Skinner and the teachers at the school start eating the kids.
Skinner: You might say that we just ate Uter!
Man, I almost befouled my pants when he said that.
And, later, when Bart, Lisa, and Milhouse, Bart tries to reassure them, stating that, since they are the main characters, nothing can happen to them.
Then, Milhouse falls into the food processor.
Also in the Kodos and Kang Run For President episode:
One of the aliens (sorry, forget): Abortions for all!
crowd: boo!
Alien: Abortions for none!
crowd: boo!
alien: Abortions for some, little American flags for all!
crowd: yay!
Oh, and the great line “We must go upwards, not backwards, sideways, not forwards, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!”
I can’t believe no one has mentioned the episode where Homer is sent to Hell for eating the Soul Donut. “Mmmm…soul donut…”
Maybe I’m weird but my favorite part about the Evil Krusty Doll episode is Homer sitting in the bath singing “my baloney has a first name, it’s H-O-M-E-R, my baloney has a second name it’s H-O-M-E-AHHHHH!” (That’s when the Krusty Doll leaps out of the bathwater with an axe.
The “Toaster Episode”, is called Time and Punishment and is derived from a short story in the Ray Bradbury anthology, Golden Apples of the Sun, where the world’s most famous hunter goes back in time to shoot a dinosaur and changes the timestream by stepping on a butterfly.
I am so happy to see that everyone is voting for my favorite Halloween episode. It is absolutely superb, without a doubt. The references ranging from the Flintstones to 1984 are most excellent.
Definitely the all time classic.
Forbidden soul doughnut is a close, but not too close, second.
Toaster one is good, as is the Shinning. My favorite line: (which I heard long before I saw the ep in reruns)
Homer: "No beer, no cable makes Homer…(mumbles)
Marge: “Go crazy?”
Homer: “Don’t mind if I do!”
Also from the same ep (I think): “Can’t kill family now…eating.”
I gotta go with the Homer squared episode. The one with the wall vortex that takes him into the 3rd dimension. Actualy I look forward to the Holloween episodes most of all. I think they do their best work there.
That would be ‘The Sound of Thunder’ - probably the single best time travel story ever written.
Homer selling his soul for a donut is probably my favorite.
Flanders: “…and Richard Nixon!”
Nixon: “But I’m not dead yet!”
Flanders: “Yes, but you still owe me. BIG time.”
Nixon: “Oh, all right.”
“Jeez, James Coco went insane after three hours of this!”
That one’s my fav. “I wish I had a monkey’s paw.”
the all time great line from “Vampires”
Lisa: You must kill Mr. Burns!
Homer: (Gasp!) Kill my boss! Do I DARE live out the American Dream?!
I got that one as my signoff for windows closing at my work 
I crack up at the total belief in his voice that he will be able to live “the American Dream”
and come on…wouldn’t you feel a little less bad killing a vampire that happens to be the one that doles out the orders?