I bet you’re really fun at parties.
Well, then we disagree on a few things, obviously. You and Annie Xmas have picked your battles, I’ve picked mine, and they’re different ones. Good luck to us all.
This one has always mystified me - a male. I don’t feel it and don’t understand it. I’d like women to want gratification and enjoy themselves, but “dirty” doesn’t seem to be the same thing. So, FWIW, it isn’t universal.
Oh, that was just Annie-Xmas getting on her high horse. Don’t mind it. (My saintly mother used to refer to “the girls at work” when both she and the “girls” in question were on the high side of fifty…)
Good instance of “dirty in a good way”. I’d struggle to define the term in a few words, I’d just have to say that I know it when I see it, and contrary to one or two posters upthread, it’s been my own experience that many women aren’t “dirty in a good way” a lot of the time, and some aren’t any of the time. Whereas the casual friend of a friend who once sucked my thumb in a manner I’d have liked to have had something else sucked, and conveyed the impression that she would have liked that too, was definitely DIAGW. 
This just popped into my head. About 12 years ago, I was talking to this woman, somebody I worked with, about something slightly work-inappropriate. Somehow the subject of women who were “dirty” came up, and we had two different ideas about what it meant. I meant it in a good way, and she simply could not understand how “dirty” could be something good. Until finally, it dawned on her. “Oh, you mean naughty!” Then she understood perfectly, and we were on the same wavelength.
So the whole “dirty” confusion may simply be a question of semantics. The erotic dimensions of human interaction are about transgression of boundaries. Call it “dirty”, “naughty”, “slutty”, whatever, it’s really hard to be turned on when everything is totally straight-laced and by-the-book. Hence, “dirty-in-a-good-way”.
Throwing my lot in with the haters on this one.
All the above, along with “It’s all in the attitude”
Also reminded of the old line, “Lady in public, whore in private” (or something like that)
Of course it’s semantics; it’s a discussion of the definition of a term. That isn’t the point, though, and it requires a bit of misinterpretation, willful or otherwise, to distill Annie-Xmas, Freudian Slit, et al’s posts into “doesn’t get that ‘dirty’ = good.”
The point, which has been fairly made already, is that terms like “dirty,” “naughty,” “pure filth” (and now we have “whore” to add to the mix) don’t have any grounding whatsoever in a discussion about whether a woman likes to “take it up the wrong’un,” and so forth, unless they retain a bit of the general connotation of degeneracy and corruption associated with the words as typically defined, and unless we agree that those labels are fitting descriptions of anal or oral sex or masturbation.
It’s all well and good to say you like the way in which it’s dirty that a woman might like to fuck a vacuum or whatever, but you’re still using a word that means soiled, foul, unclean, disgusting. If it’s supposed to be a discussion of what bedroom habits are turn-ons, it can be called that without using words that, as we all learned in nursery school, describe things in a negative way.
I think it’s fair for a woman to ask why exactly that connotation of filth and sin attaches at all, and I don’t have a good answer for it.
(The use of “girl” is a separate question and one I’m not sure comes from the same problematic roots; I’m 27 and I say “kid” to describe everyone under 40).
Eh, the whole “dirty”, “naughty” “filthy” thing sounds too much like “the type of girl you fuck but don’t marry”, which for a while I optimistically thought was an out-moded concept. Unfortunately it appears to not only be alive and well but gaining ground again.
As a woman who likes sex in all sorts of ways and had a fair share of partners prior to marriage, count me in with the others who don’t understand why a it’s dirty for a female to be enthusiastic about sex but not for a male.
What is wrong with you people that you read judgment into everything. Reread the OP. The premise is that a group of friends were taking about wanting a “dirty” girl. No negative connotations to be found.
It’s the epitome of irony that the people who claim to be so open-minded sexually are the ones freaking out and getting defensive over the playful use of the term “dirty”.
Because ‘breaking the rules’ is exhilarating. Most people learn that when they’re two.
Speaking of which, don’t call Annie-Xmas ‘baby’ - it’s beyond sick.
And what are the rules, specifically, in this case?
But does applying the concept to women in this particular thread really operate to exclude the possibility that men can also be Dirty In A Good Way? Or is this simply a thread that was started about what it means for a woman to be Dirty In A Good Way?
I have encountered men I’d consider Dirty In A Good Way. I’ve also encountered plenty of men who were just down and dirty. And I do mean just down and dirty.
I’m going to go ahead and guess that a poll on what makes a man Dirty In A Good Way would include a discussion of factors similar to those that make a woman Dirty In A Good Way.
There aren’t real rules (depending on your religion). But by calling a behavior dirty, you’re intrinsically making a rule about it - you shouldn’t do it, you shouldn’t want it. That makes it more fun to do.
I’m female, and my SO (a guy) is dirty in a good way. To me, “dirty” is just shorthand for “heartily enjoys sex” and in particular implies a sense of conspiring together to have a lot of fun doing it.
OK, so now we’re getting somewhere.
And when, by calling e.g. a woman who enjoys anal sex dirty, you’re intrinsically making a rule that women shouldn’t like anal sex, and shouldn’t do it, right? This is a discussion that can fairly be recast as a discussion of what we think women “shouldn’t like” sexually? Which, for Omni’s edification I’ll just go ahead and point out that that is a judgment*.
Hopefully it’s understandable, given the planet we live on and what has happened on it historically with regard specifically to men telling women what they shouldn’t want to do and shouldn’t do, that some women might not especially like being subject to that kind of rule, despite the existence of the other side of the coin, which is that, you know, we can’t fuck them in the ass quite as enjoyably if they refuse to participate, and so we can honestly claim that, even though we’re calling them whores for feeling this way, we want them to feel that way; we just want to be able to call them whores about it because that’s fucking hot.
Obviously, for some of them, the fact that you or I get more out of it if we call it a filthy and unconscionable practice isn’t quite the same level of turn-on, since it comes attached to the necessary proviso that we’re making moral judgments about their sexual desires. That makes sense to me; doesn’t it make sense to the rest of you?
*I’ll also point out that I don’t see any claims from anybody that they’re so especially open-minded, nor do I see anybody freaking out. I’m certainly not doing either one.
My definition:
If a woman (or a man) is into scat, getting beaten up, child abuse or bestiality, then they are dirty. Pretty much everything else may or may not be “naughty” and yet may fall in the realm of the erotic.
Those are my limits.
You seem to be making an exception for people who like beating up those who don’t want it. How do you plead?
OK, you’ve turned this into a subject-object thing, and a man/woman thing. I figure a lot of people - men and women - think of *themselves *as dirty or naughty sometimes.
In a hetero pairing, we possibly have:
man says something about woman
woman says something about man
man says something about himself
woman says something about herself
and you’ve assumed everything is that top case. Next time you have sex, ask the woman to call you a filthy slut while you go about your favorite aberration. You’ll feel better.
Huh? I don’t understand you. Beating up, getting beaten up, I make no exception and I don’t think I did. The stuff I cited I find abhorrent and outside of my definition of acceptable behavior even if the participants are willing.
I’m very liberal but those are my limits. So flame me.