[QUOTE=Madd Maxx]
and our bathrooms would be split up into Toilet Paper Over the Top and Toilet Paper Down the Back.
[/QUOTE]
Either way, swampbear would make sure one entire storeroom was filled with rolls, so we don’t run out.
And you know that the email wouldn’t be clogged with the glurge and Snopes-able crap that Pat from HR always sends out.
[QUOTE=Larry Mudd]
Fffft. Doesn’t my lunchbreak seem dreary, all of a sudden?
Waitaminute… is Weirddave safely assigned to the Tuktoyaktuk branch? He’s an awful lot bigger than I am. :eek:
[/QUOTE]
Nah, don’t worry about it. He’d be too busy arguing with someone in marketing. 
[QUOTE=BiblioCat]
Some people would be too busy doing yoga in the hallways to do any real work. But that’d be okay - it would part of the company health plan.
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=GingerOfTheNorth]
Guess which one is Bibliocat?
[/QUOTE]
I’m the potty-mouthed brunette on the right, of course. You’re the red-headed Yoga Queen on the left.
[QUOTE=Sean Factotum]
Either way, swampbear would make sure one entire storeroom was filled with rolls, so we don’t run out.
And you know that the email wouldn’t be clogged with the glurge and Snopes-able crap that Pat from HR always sends out.
[/QUOTE]
Dang right! Plus, storeroom, hell, there’d be at least two warehouses devoted solely to toilet paper. There is never any excuse to run out of toilet paper.
[sub]Damn, now everybody knows about my obsessive-compulsive need for plenty of toilet paper[/sub]
Like I care. 
[QUOTE=Misnomer]
Very true, but that would only distract all of us for a week or two.
[/quote]
Not necessarily. We’re Dopers. In the middle of things, in the heat of passion, we’ll suddenly freeze and exclaim, “I suddenly know how to solve the iteration problem on the Foobar project!”
The more expert of us won’t even need to stop.
Many of whom can use power tools.
[QUOTE=GingerOfTheNorth]
Guess which one is Bibliocat?
[/QUOTE]
Yesterday I thought about how much I liked the demonstration cartoons, and that I’d have to start people using them again.
That was a good one.
R&D would spend the entire budget building a rolling runway.
[QUOTE=Rysdad]
R&D would spend the entire budget building a rolling runway.
[/QUOTE]
For the record, you are cracking my shit right up lately. Thanks!
[QUOTE=Sage Rat]
Ditto. If I didn’t read the SDMB, I would have to come up with a new way to take longer.
What a cruel, cruel office place this would be! 
[/QUOTE]
Ditto three. I do a lot of that and yet I can manage to drive multiple major projects and the usual workload at the same time. :dubious:
The IT department would kick major ass if it weren’t for the daily brawls over PC vs Mac vs Linux.
[QUOTE=Chefguy]
The IT department would kick major ass if it weren’t for the daily brawls over PC vs Mac vs Linux.
[/QUOTE]
Brawls? The answer is obvious!
[QUOTE=Sunspace]
Brawls? The answer is obvious!
[/QUOTE]
Hell, yes it’s obvious. The only winner is BEER IN THE BREAK ROOM!
[QUOTE=WhyNot]
I<snip>Check out featherlou’s new outfit! She is one brave lady to wear that to a board meeting!
<snip>
[/QUOTE]
Hey, I may be from Saskatchewan, but I totally don’t wear that! It would be way too cold.
The Straight Dope Enterprises dress code - sure. If you feel like it. If not, that’s okay too.
No putting fancy bonnets on the goats.
Do whatever you want to the squid. He can look out for himself.
We’d have to have a Pet Day Care for all our kitties and puppies…
The only down side to this Doper Office - to whom would we rant about our cow-orkers?
Can we have a room full of heated, massaging armchairs for us armchair psychologists? We can just sit around getting heated massages all day, giving people free advice (and worth every penny) like a bunch of gurus. Sweet.
[QUOTE=anyrose]
<snip>The only down side to this Doper Office - to whom would we rant about our cow-orkers?
[/QUOTE]
We would need a Pit - a ball pit. Where we can call out our co-workers.
I’d wager that Tuesday and Thursday mornings would be largely unproductive due to time spent discussing plot details from 24 and Lost.
Shit man, I want in on this office. The Ball Pit is a splendid idea. Sign me up for R&D, Theoretical Division.
[sub]And Wednesday morning is our House discussion.[/sub]
I’d like QA, please. Not so much the “picking apart what other people do”, since we have people here who are much better at that than me; the part about writing procedures that Make Sense. Or translations, I can do translations. Or translation QA.
