What would he do with that? a game

Here’s the story taken from News of the Weird.

Kenneth Patrick Porche Jr., 22, was arrested outside the ladies’ room at Dillard’s department store in Houma, La., in January, carrying four plastic bags of urine and several empty bags labeled with descriptions such as “old woman.” Police said they believed that Porche would enter a stall, disable the toilet’s flush mechanism, and line the bowl with a plastic film to catch the urine, before hiding away in an adjacent stall. After a woman used the toilet and left, Porche would collect and bag the urine from the plastic film. Since Porche’s behavior was difficult to characterize, police charged him under the catch-all “criminal mischief.” Houma Today, 1-30-03

Let’s give him a purpose for his criminal mischief. The most bizarre yet plausible explanation is the winner.

Of course, I think he is acquiring strange women’s urine as a plot to fuel the UFOs.

He’s a master of disguise, but is subjected to frequent urinalysis. He needs disguise-specific urine.

“Good news, Porche. You’ve passed your quarterly drug test. You’re also pregnant.”

plauible? I think he would sell it to drug users as clean urine…

bizarre… I think he is writting a book on how age and sex changes the taste of Urine…

He’s just trying to avoid the holiday rush.

LOL! How age and sex change the taste of urine!!!

How about, he is saving the urine for his mother who he has been tending for the last 20 years in the attic of the hotel he owns. Little does anyone suspect that she is dead and stuffed in a trunk and that his mother is really him in drag. The reason he is saving it is to prove that there is another person there. You see, one person just can’t urinate enough for two, especially for his mother.

He’s collecting it for a bizzare porn fetish site. Sex with bags of urine in the background.

Soup, that sounds like it could be true. YIPES.

He is collecting urine to fill various bath tubs with. They are labeled based on approximate age. All the old lady pee goes in one, all the young lady pee goes in another, etc. He is doing this because he can take on the guise of various generations of people by bathing in it. It is like makeup for the insane.

J. Peterman: So as a result of your test being free of opium, I am reinstating you. (But) I’m afraid I can’t take you. Elaine, according to your urine analysis, you’re menopausal. You have the metabolism of a sixty-eight year old woman.

J. Peterman: Oh, and one more thing. You may have osteoporosis.

Urine luck! The lawyer representing you is a real whiz! That must come as a relief! No piss-ant public defender. He should be able to water down the charges…

I was thinking his job is to find the featured ingredient for Iron Chef.:eek: