What would you do if you woke up in Mexico next to a prostitute, with a bag of white powder in one hand, an empty bottle of tequila in the other, and a was of $100 bills in your pocket?
This is, of course, purely hypothetical.
Er…on second thought, this would be better suited for IMHO…mods, do what you will.
Wipe my fingerprints off the bag of white powder.
Leave a $100 bill for the prostitute.
Take the tequila with me.
Use another $100 bill for the trip back home.
Use another $100 bill for a blood test.
Fairly straightforward: keep the money but ditch the rest as quickly as possible.
Is she nice?
I’d snort the prostitute, have sex with the white powder, drink the wad of $100 bills, and buy the biggest flatscreen HDTV I could with the empty bottle of tequila.
Thanks for the laff Crunchy!
Why I laugh.
funny you should ask…
I was in my early 20s. I was working part time at a camera store to mke ends as the housing boom in Houston had hit a wall, or hikkupped, or whatever happened I had to get a job!
Well, that company went out of business (sue to illegal thingies with the owners) and we decided to have a big ol’ party the night it finally all went belly up. (ftr, we were mostly all in our 20s, except for management.)
So… we got everyone from all three stores to go to this club on Richmond near Lopp 610 for our blowout.
I lived near one of the guys in my stores, so we decided to go there together. (Distances in Houston can be deceiving) I was driving a sooped up Camero (very sexy car, if I do say so myself) but “Buddy” was in a Porshe 944. (Selling camera shit paid well in the early 80s).
So, we took his car.
I had recently broke up with my GF, so I was having some fun with a nice looking blonde girlie at the club.
I was also drinking a lot of tequila shots and dropping a few pills, as was my wont at the time.
Well, fast forward to about 2:30 am. I’m in the rather nice and plush bathroom, laying down on a couch. I wander out and find club in process of closing down.
No one I know is there, so I go outside, thinking I’ll have to payphone a friend to come get me.Well, there is “Buddy” walking around outside. What luck! A ride home!
“Where the hell did you park my car?!” he screams.
“What?” I reply.
Seems that, at around 10:3 or so, I told “Buddy” that me and Blondie were going to split for a bit (wink wink) and borrowed his car, promissing to be back in an hour or so. I have no reccollection of this.
No sight of me and Blondie till aforementioned parking lot encounter.
I’m completely thirsty and a ltitle hungry by this time, so I suggest we walk to the U-Tote-M or whatever it was down at the corner to buy a Coke and a Snickers and just use the phone there…
Well, as we cross the street, I notice a car about 1/4 mile or so down the road that ain’t moving, but it’s lights are on. It’s doors are open, too, I can barely tell.
On a strange notion, I say we should go check it out (was actually thinking of taking it and ditching it a little ways from home)
We get to the car, and it’s “Buddy’s” Porshe.
Doors wide open, lights on, key in ignition, engine on, car in Park…
Whoa!
So, we go home. Never did figure out what happened to Blondie or why I “parked” the car as I did.
Moral: Never call the phone number on the bottom of a can of anchovies.
Although it was my first choice, I am now thankful that the user name “Blondie” was unavailable…
Now, that’s a story, NoClueBoy.
Yeah… something was wrong with me back then. I’m all better now.
If the prostitute is hot and into chicks: I’d sell the coke. Take her for a GYN to test her. Bring her home for my husband and I to enjoy, while drinking the Tequila. Then use the wad of $100 bills and the $$ left over from the coke to have 5 star steak dinner in NYC.
With the remainder I’d send her back to where she came from.
U-Tote-M is actually a store in Texas? :smack:
Well, it was then. Don’t right know about now.
Senor, que cocina? Que protituta??
Senor, no me apunta la maquina pistola a mi cabeza, por favor. . .
Tripler
Not that I’ve ever had to learn those words before. . .
Hello, english to spanish translator… I hope I got it right!
No vamos al restaurante agradable, nosotros pagamos.
¿Entiende usted?
:eek:
I wonder if I can find an all night blood testing place here…
(NCB never ever told me that story…at least not when I was sober)
I’d wonder how the hell I got from England to Mexico. Then I’d flush the powder and ditch the empty bottle. If the prostitute was hot I’d try and persuade her to come with me. Then I’d use the money to get back to England.